RANDOM PIC OF THE WEEK
My friend Officer Mark has a sick, twisted sense of humor. I was considering a weekend trip to Palm Springs last week, but due to the last-minute nature of my getaway, I wasn’t able to get the room I like at the Hyatt in Palm Springs. So I decided to stay put in L.A. until I could plan ahead a little further for a future trip. Well, Officer Mark and his girlfriend Connie decided to go to the desert anyway. And where did they go? To the ice cream place that servers my favorite dessert in the history of desserts…THE DOLE WHIP! I like it “Wally-ized” with pineapple chunks and shredded coconut. So what does Officer Mark do? He sends me this video…teasing me. Tempting me! Knowing full well it will be at least a month before I can get to Palm Springs and have one for myself. Ooooh you’re a cruel man, Officer Mark!
Back in 1987 when I first moved to L.A., a group called the Stranglers had an album out with some great songs. One was called “Always the Sun,” (one of my all-time favorite songs), but there was also “You Always Reap What You Sow” as well. This popped into my head the other day and I just had to crank it on and give it a few listens. I think it’s masterful!
Monday the 22nd – WEIRD WAKE-UP CALL! – The sounds of my dog getting ready to puke all over my carpet made me spring awake. I leapt from the bed and pulled her over to the area of my bathroom that has marble tile on the floor. Poor Roxy. Must’ve eaten something that didn’t agree with her. But it all worked out, it all got cleaned up and no carpets were harmed. I did some work around the house, and then went to Bed, Bath and Beyond to pick up a few items for the house. I headed over to my printer’s to see if he was able to print the signage I created for my “memorabilia table” for the upcoming Aberdeen Central High School Hall of Fame ceremony. On October 11th I’m being inducted into my high school’s Hall of Fame, and they want all of the inductees to create displays of personal memorabilia that the attendees can enjoy looking at. I’m going to take a piece of the “Tonight Show” set, a few other little things, and action figures of many of the animated characters I’ve voiced. Just to make sure that everything was clearly marked, I created little signs that will go with each item. Once those are printed in color, I’ll mount them to foam core, cut them to size and get them ready for display. The printing wasn’t quite finished yet, so I’ll check back later in the week. I went to a neighborhood florist to have some flowers delivered to a friend of mine, and then hit Taco Bell for some drive-thru lunch. I got home and worked on the computer for a bit, took a dip in the Jacuzzi, and took a nap on the couch. When I got up later I did a bunch of auditions, continued to prep for the upcoming Hall of Fame trip, walked and fed Roxy, and watched an episode of “Kojak” from the Season 5 boxed set before bed. This was the final season for “Kojak” and the episodes are kind of a mess. They don’t seem tight or concise as the ones from the previous seasons. Plus, they changed the theme song to a disco theme. I can see why they did it in 1977, but the song is more appropriate for a New York discotheque than an action/cop show.
Tuesday the 23rd – CLEAN, CLEAN, CLEAN! – What a beautiful day it was! Stunning, in fact. When I got up at 1 I did some work around the house then met my assistant Sara for lunch at Panera. We had a great meal on the outdoor patio so we could enjoy the great weather. I got some supplies at the pharmacy next door, and then drove my Gran Torino to the car wash to get it cleaned up. Boy did it sparkle! When I pull that car into the car wash, everyone drops what they’re doing to look. When I got home I was in a cleaning mood, so I got a broom and swept all the leaves off my patio and cleaned up the area outside my front door. It was quite a dirty job, but it had to be done. To minimize the dust and dirt swirling in the air (especially bad if you’re just getting over a lung condition) I defied the current water ban and hosed the patio down quickly. I made it as fast as possible to conserve water, but the broom can only do so much. I went inside to shower then napped until 9 that night. I took a dip in the Jacuzzi and went back inside to start tackling 25 auditions! Some for a videogame, some for an animated series, some for commercials, and one for a narration gig. I’m hoping some of these turn into actual gigs because the industry has been very slow lately…for everybody I know in the business! In answer to the much-asked question…NO! I am NOT better off than I was four years ago. I fed and walked Roxy and made some hot dogs; perfect food to watch the New York-based “Kojak” show!
Wednesday the 24th – A THRILL…AN HONOR! – Just after noon I got up and walked Roxy. Since the trees outside my house are starting to drop leaves everywhere, I swept up the leaves that fell overnight. Now that my patio area is clean, I want to stay on it so it remains so. I organized some bank deposits and checked e-mails. I got an e-mail from Dr. U, the principal of Aberdeen Central High. As part of the Hall of Fame weekend, I agreed to give a speech to some students at the high school. They want me to talk about what I do in L.A., my career, how going to Central influenced my life choices, etc. Well as it turns out, many of the teachers who currently teach at Central are former classmates of mine. So they’re excited to hear the speech, plus some of the kids know my work from “Arkham” and “Family Guy,” and THEY’RE anxious to hear my speech. So the e-mail from the principal said that the student and faculty interest in my speech was “off the charts,” as he put it. WOW! What an honor! Originally thinking that I was just going to go in to speak for a few minutes, it now turns out that I’m speaking for an HOUR, to two separate groups of students! The first speech will be to the freshmen and sophomores (about 400 students in all), and a repeat of the speech will be given afterwards to the juniors and seniors (another 400 students)! They’ll be packed into the Thomas F. Kelly Theater to hear me speak. It will be quite emotional, because Tom Kelly was my drama teacher in high school who was never anything less than encouraging to me. He passed away in the late 90’s, but speaking in his new theatre will be an amazing thrill. So with this in mind, I set about making it the best speech ever. I want it to be filled with encouraging anecdotes, funny stories, and lots and lots of voices and characterizations. Heck, if a guy from LA who used to go to my high school gave a speech to my class, I would have been in rapt attention! It’s my goal to make sure the students have the best time possible and hopefully take away some encouragement to fulfill their own hopes and dreams, in whatever they choose to pursue. I’m pulling out all the stops! I gave some bank deposits to my assistant Sara so she could take them to the bank, while I headed to the printer’s to check on my signage. But it wasn’t quite right so he has to do it over. Sara and I met at Paty’s and had lunch, and then I picked up my mail at my mailbox and headed to the local car wash to get my Mustang washed. It was filthy! I got home and worked on my speech a little bit while Sara organized some stuff we’re getting rid of on ebay. My closets are brimming with clothes that I haven’t worn in years and no longer need. So we’re BLOWING them out! I hit the Jacuzzi to relax and think more about the speech. When I came back inside and checked the weather in my beloved Palm Springs, it looked like a tremendous cooling trend was hitting the desert area for the coming weekend. While Palm Springs should still be having triple digit temps this time of year, the expected high on Saturday was only 86, with a low of 68. PERFECT weather! I tried to book my favorite room for a quick getaway, but it didn’t look like it was going to be possible. The hotel was 96% sold out that weekend! I’ll try again in a few weeks I guess. I took a short nap, and when I awoke, I set about doing my auditions. Then it was off to Denny’s for some takeout, and back home to watch “Kojak” and enjoy my meal.
Thursday the 25th – THE TERRIBLE TICKLE! – At 2 I finally awoke, and just in time to find Sara bagging up my cat Spooky for a quick trip to the vet. During a recent exam, the Vet discovered some gingivitis on his gums. If his teeth aren’t cleaned soon it could turn into infection and tooth loss. Not wanting it to get that far, we arranged to have him brought him so some blood and urine could be drawn. This needs to be done before the pet is put under anesthesia, just to make sure all his bodily functions are operating optimally. Though my cough has tapered off (damn cough takes forever to go away it seems!) I still had an annoying tickle in my trachea, which was making matters worse. Since I’m hardly ever sick the protocols for treating the extenuating circumstances of an illness escape my memory. But I seem to remember going in to see my doctor many years ago for the very same type of tickle. And like a revelation I remembered what he said. The reason there’s a tickle is simple. (This medical stuff may seem a little gross, so please pardon me) When someone coughs as much as I did when I had pneumonia, a large amount of stomach acid is also propelled into esophagus and throat area, along with the mucus from the lungs. You see, when there’s a bacterial infection in the lungs, the body’s natural defense mechanism is to attack the invading bacteria with mucus and suffocate it. However, once the bacteria is killed off by the mucus, it then needs to be expelled from the body. But the thick viscosity of the mucus is such that it’s very stubborn, and takes forever to fully be expelled (along with the dead bacteria) from the body. My Chinese herbalist said that when the expelled mucus is a greenish color; that is all the dead bacteria you’re seeing. Fascinating! I never knew that! But when the stomach acid gets tossed into the esophagus, trachea, and even on the vocal cords…that’s what creates hoarseness of the voice and the “terrible tickle” that I’m experiencing. It was all coming back to me. All those years ago my doctor prescribed Nexxium, a powerful antacid that will help mitigate overproduction of stomach acid, and cut down on the likelihood that it will continue to “burn” my throat. I remember it working like a charm before. So I dug out my bottle of Nexxium and started in on a one-pill-a-day regimen. I don’t want to have this tickle when I give my speeches. It’ll totally ruin the vibe if I’m coughing all over the place! I changed my parents’ room reservation so they could come in a day earlier than originally planned to hear the speech. It’ll be great having my folks there! I took off to my printer’s and picked up the signage. Then I headed to my mailbox and got the new book about Andy Kaufman from Andy’s former writing partner (and my buddy) Bob Zmuda. It’s called “Andy Kaufman…The Truth. Finally!” When his first book on Andy came out in 1999, I remember getting it at the local bookstore in Marina Del Rey, and going over to the neighborhood Jerry’s Famous Deli to read it. I ordered some food and sat there and read the ENTIRE book! I didn’t have enough time to do that today but I did go to Paty’s in Toluca Lake, ordered a salad, and sat outside enjoying the beautiful day. I started in on the book and got a fair amount read before I had to go home and feed the pets. I got home and did some work on the computer, and then my pal Mark Anthony came over so we could talk about the “Fats” figure he’d be making me. If you ever saw the film “Magic” starring Anthony Hopkins, you remember a creepy ventriloquist dummy named Fats that stole the show. Well Mark recreates the Fats figure meticulously. And I just HAVE to have one in the Puppet Room on display! I gave Mark a tour of Planet Wallywood and then took a nap. I got up to do auditions but still had a nagging cough and tickle. I hope this Nexxium does the trick, as this is driving me nuts! If the cough isn’t better by Monday I’m going back to the doctor. I’m not goofing around with this anymore. I’ve learned my lesson! I have a heavy videogame session coming up next Thursday, and with three big speeches in Aberdeen in two weeks, I just HAVE to improve fast! I made some ravioli and watched another “Kojak” episode before bed.
Friday the 26th – DANDY DAN! – I felt it best to sleep late to get as much rest as possible. My old pal Dan Roebuck stopped by to see the new additions to my collection. I hadn’t seen Dan in quite a while so it was good to catch up and have some laughs. When he left I spent hours and hours writing my speech. I grabbed a Jacuzz and a nap. When I got up I did some more writing, then made a beautiful, gorgeous, magical Chef Boy Ar Dee pizza to enjoy while watching “Kojak.” A beautiful end to a wonderful week!
Saturday the 27th – HAPPY BIRTHDAY PEGGY! – It’s my sister Peggy’s birthday! She just got married a few weeks ago so she’s having a wonderful month. Once again I slept until 3 in the afternoon. I got up to enjoy the beautiful day, but I was wishing I was in Palm Springs. I’ll go soon though, for sure. I did some work around the house to get ready for movie night. I worked on the speech some more, took a dip in the Jacuzzi and had a fun movie night. It was a smaller house than usual, but we enjoyed the heck out of “The Full Monty.” It’s a lot funnier than I remember it. When everyone left I took a nap on the couch, then got up to clean up a little. I fed and walked Roxy on our late-night stroll through the neighborhood. It was about 4am, and as we were making out way back home we passed underneath a huge tree. As we passed under, it sounded like somebody was sitting the tree above us blowing a broken duck call. It was loud and annoying. It wasn’t a duck either! “RAAARHAAAAHAAHAAAAAAAHAAARRARAA!” What the heck was it? Normally Roxy is very curious about different sounds and her ears prick up and she tilts her head to try and figure out what it is. But in this case, she looked straight ahead and didn’t pay any attention to it. I think she knew full well what it was and wanted to get out of there fast. I believe it was a mad raccoon in the tree overhead that saw us passing by. Maybe it sensed danger when it got a whiff of Roxy, or maybe it had babies it was protecting. In either case we kept up our pace and moved along. As soon as we passed the immediate area the noise stopped. As we got closer to the house I DID hear a duck in the distance, quacking away. Odd. I started thinking about what I would have done had the raccoon accosted us in person. I mean, what to do…throw Roxy’s poop scoop at it? I went upstairs and got ready for bed. I made a huge salad and started watching some old episodes of “The Saint.”
Sunday the 28th – THE TRUTH (KINDA)…FINALLY! – Around 3pm I got up and took Roxy out for a quick walk. I read some more of the Bob Zmuda book about Andy Kaufman. Though Bob explains how he thinks Andy faked his death back in 1984, and lays out a pretty good case for it, I still don’t buy it. First of all I don’t think Andy had the malice in his personality to hurt his parents and loved ones like that. You’d have to be one mean mutha to do something like that, and I just don’t believe the child-like Andy Kaufman would have done something like that. Plus Bob leaves clues throughout the book to substantiate that, but still doesn’t go all the way with it. I feel he’s STILL holding some things back. But I encourage you to read it for yourself if you’re so inclined. I’m more in line with Andy’s girlfriend Lynne Margulies’ theory. But I don’t want to spoil the surprise in her story. After all, Lynne was there when Andy died and Bob wasn’t. So I’m more inclined to go with Lynne. Unless Lynne was in on the hoax too?! Hmmm…! Roxy and I walked to evening church and enjoyed the nice, cool evening. I came back home and worked on the computer, writing more on my speech. I read some more of the Kaufman book, then hit the Jacuzzi and grabbed a nap. I did a ton of auditions and hit the hay with some food and another episode of “Kojak.”
And how was YOUR week???!!
