October 03 – October 09 (2022)

RANDOM PIC OF THE WEEK

This meme makes me laugh so hard I almost wet myself!

Ever have a song come up that you haven’t heard in a long time, and it takes you RIGHT BACK to a certain point in time? That happened this past week when “Teenage Lament ’74” came up on my iPod. It took me right back to the studio of KABR-AM radio in 1976, when I pulled the album out of that cool looking “Alice Cooper’s Greatest Hits” cover (with the sepia-toned artwork on the cover) and played it on the air. I was an instant fan of that song. When I heard it I was in the Mustang and I said, “Man! I’ve gotta get the Gran Torino out next week!”

Monday the 3rd – TRY-ANNUALLY! – Because colon cancer runs in my family, it’s imperative that I get one of “those” screening procedures once every three years. I started doing it under protest back in 2013. But when they found a polyp the size of a grape during that maiden procedure, I was a believer. Had I not had it removed back then, I may not be here today writing to you. Due to the early appointment time, and the amount of prep one has to do before that appointment, I was pretty much up all night. There is a solution to drink, and bottles of water that need to be consumed by specific times. And not to mention the frequent bathroom trips. Just before I took my second and final dose of the medicated solution, I filmed a short anti-cancer PSA to post on my social media. I figure if people are on the fence about doing it, my testimony could possibly make a difference whether they see it through or not. While the procedure process is no picnic, the worst part to me is the waiting. So I tried to keep myself busy and occupied to while away the hours. A few days leading up to this, I lined up several projects to do to help pass the time more speedily. As the Tom Petty song says, “The waiting is the hardest part.” All things considered, the procedure itself is the easy part. By 9am I had to cease my intake of anything by mouth. With my surgery scheduled at 11, it’s necessary to clear your system of stuff two hours before the procedure since you’re going under anesthesia. I showered up and got ready to leave, walked Roxy, and then my pal Sara stopped by at 9:30 so we could head to the clinic. I checked in, filled out a ton of paperwork, they gave Sara her pick-up instructions, and she was on her way to run some errands. Just before they took me in, the gal at the front took my temperature with one of those forehead temp reader things. I pulled up my Christoween® beanie so she could read the temp, but it was off the charts! The look on her face was one of serious concern. She tried it again and it was over 99 degrees! I thought this might prevent me from having the procedure, until I realized that I had been sitting there for a while wearing a thick beanie. The beanie was holding all of my heat in, so I took it off and just let my forehead cool in the waiting area. If my temp still tests high, they may send me home for fear that I’m sick. (Hint: I’m not) She checked my temp again in about ten minutes and it was 98.7 – perfect. Even though I normally run about 97.7. But wow! Those Christoween® beanies sure do keep your head warm! And you can get yours in the merchandise section of this website (quick product plug, if you don’t mind!). Since this clinic still required that everyone wear face masks, I decided to go for laughs. The people in the clinic are great, but given the…ahem…nature of their job, I’m sure they could all use a good laugh. So I dug out my mask that has my face printed on it. Everyone got a good laugh out of it! It was a great conversation piece! Nurse Christine came to the waiting room to get me and escort me in. She gave me the gown and socks and I changed. I was cracking jokes all the time, and luckily the staff was all amenable to a little late-morning humor. Christine started my saline IV and said they’d come to get me in about 20 minutes. But 20 minutes turned into 40 minutes, which turned into an hour. She came to me and apologized and said they were running a little behind. I said, “That’s a butt joke, right? A little…behind?” As she wheeled my gurney into the OR I decided I wanted to make a funny entrance. So I pretended to be steering a car, and I started making racecar noises (including all of the shifting into the next gear!) When she backed me into the OR I did the standard “beep beep beep” back-up sounds. Then when she set my gurney into place I made the sound of brakes screeching. Between the sound effects and my wacky mask, the doctor, the anesthesiologist and the attending nurses were all laughing. It was great getting to spend some time talking to the doctor before the procedure and reviewing my results from three years ago. Then they started my anesthesia and I was out. The next thing I remember was waking up to a lot of loud voices in what sounded like a staff meeting. I was back in my private cubby for recovery, and sure enough the staff was meeting in the center area of the clinic. When you’re coming out of anesthesia you do the nuttiest things. The curtain surrounding my private cubby consisted of about 7 feet of opaque material, but the top few feet of the curtain (which led up to a track on the ceiling) was all a mesh material. But where the curtain material and the mesh material met, there was a hole about 12 inches in size. So in my delirious state, I decided it would be fun to put on a puppet show for the staff while they were having their meeting. I took off one of the yellow socks I was wearing, put it on my right hand, poked my face through the hole in the curtain and announced to the staff (completely interrupting their meeting), “And now for your lunchtime pleasure…a puppet show!” Now, first off they were laughing at my mask. (Which I found out later had been placed on my face UPSIDE DOWN by the anesthesiologist after my procedure – which is in itself pretty darn funny!) Then I put the yellow sock puppet up through the hole and said, “Hey there! A funny thing happened on the way to the clinic today!” They were all laughing, thankfully. Nurse Christine came to check on me and saw that I was already up, so I took my clothes to the changing area and got dressed. She showed me to the waiting area and Sara was there waiting to go. Christine said the report showed that I only had two small polyps (which were removed) so the doctor said I don’t have to come back for FIVE years (unlike my usual three years)! That was GREAT news! Sara and I went to the Smoke House for lunch and to celebrate. I got home and napped, and I slept very well; as the remnant of the anesthesia continued to work out of my system. I got up later to eat and do some light work around the house. I bought the film “Hollywood Signs” on Amazon and thoroughly enjoyed it! I took another short nap, got up to do my auditions, and then typed out Wally’s Week. I’m SO glad to have that medical thing out of the way. And I won’t be seeing them again until 2027!

Tuesday the 4th – BACK IN THE SWING! – After recording some last-minute auditions, I drove to McDonald’s to get some lunch to go, and then headed over to Studiopolis for a 3 hour session on a new video game. It was doing a character I’ve performed before in an anime cartoon, but since it had been a while I needed a quick refresher reference. The voice is big and gruff, so 3 hours might be a bit hard on my pipes if I yell and scream a lot. Luckily Joe, our director, is very conscious of preserving his actor’s voices, so most of the time two takes on each line are good for him. And in some instances he only asked for one take, and then we moved on. We completed the session in 2.5 hours with my full voice intact. Wonderful! I drove back home, fed the pets, did some work around the house, and ordered up a Domino’s pizza. I grabbed a short nap, and later I recorded all my nightly auditions. I did some other random work on the computer, and then took Roxy out for our late-night stroll through the neighborhood. But she wasn’t having a very good night, so we cut the walk short. Some nights are good…some are not so good. I enjoyed my leftover Domino’s pizza and watched another episode of “The Magician” before bed.

Wednesday the 5th – CHRISTOWEEN DAY! – The weather outside was very warm and pleasant and I had planned on taking a nice, long walk and getting some exercise. But after reviewing some of my Christoween® materials I realized that the trailers I edited for each of the 13 stories were outdated for 2022. There was a card at the end that said that the Christoween® season would return October 2nd, 2022. Since that date had passed, I needed to dig into the original files in my editing system and change everything to update it for current times. It took quite a while, because my editing system had “lost” track of where all of the original video files live in my computer. I had to go into each one of the trailers and hand-assign all of the elements in the edit’s timeline. It was very laborious, so it took the entire afternoon. Oh well, “best laid plans of mice and men.” Later I spent some time editing together some Christoween® stuff that will launch on Friday. Last year I had a lot of luck with something I called “Aspiring Voice Actor” submissions. Many people who follow me on social media fancy themselves as aspiring Voice Actors, so I figured I’d give them a chance to get heard. Each week on Christoween.net I post a small snippet of the story of that week, and anyone can read the story and submit it to me via MP3. Then on Friday of each week throughout The 13 Weeks of Christoween® I’ll post a composite of all the submissions I received for that week. I decided to do it again this year, since it was fairly popular last year. I readied my work area for an early morning session on Thursday morning, and did some other work around the house. As I was digging around in my computer’s folders, looking for Christoween® elements for my projects, I decided once and for all to do some serious organizing. I have an incredible amount of material on my computer as it relates to the story series, that when I wanted to go find something specific, it took me a while to locate it. So I took several hours and organized every Christoween® element I have in my computer (artwork, music, audio files, narrations, reference resources, clippings, photos, etc.) and put them all in their own handy folder for easy reference! It will end up being time well spent as I continue with this project through the end of the year. Since the session was at 8am my time Thursday morning (the clients were on the east coast) I just napped a little bit until the session started. Given my “vampire hours” it was easier than going to bed officially, and then having to get up to start the day early.

Thursday the 6th – SESSIONS! SESSIONS! – The day began with the early morning session for a Staples radio commercial. It took just under an hour, and then I made some chili and a sandwich and went to bed to eat and watch an episode of “The Magician.” I slept several hours, and then got up to start the day officially. A Casting Director friend of mine, whom I have known for over 20 years, texted to say she was suggesting me for a sports announcer role in a radio commercial. I laid down a few lines for her to play for the client, and then did some work around the house. A short time later I got a text from my Casting Director friend telling me the session would be Friday morning for the commercial. I got on my computer to do a line test for Friday’s session, and to chat briefly with the studio engineer at the studio with whom I’d be connecting for the session. Then I headed to Paty’s to have dinner with my friend Emily, who’s also been very busy of late. I got home, napped, worked on the final version of the Aspiring Voice Actor Christoween® compilation, and continued doing a little work around the house.

Friday the 7th – VOICES OF A GENERATION! – The session for the Door Dash radio commercial only took about a half hour, and then I had a quick telemed visit with my doctor to renew a prescription. Because the on-line system with the pharmacy wasn’t functioning properly, I needed to drive over to the doctor’s office to pick up a handwritten prescription. Now that the WuFlu mania has died down, pharmacies are getting back to in-person encounters. When I got to my doctor’s office I showed up just as he was leaving for lunch. It was great seeing him again, as I hadn’t really seen him in person since March of 2020! We chatted and got caught up as we walked down the stairs together to the parking lot. I drove the prescription over to the pharmacy, did some shopping while it was being filled, and headed over to Art’s Deli for lunch. Now that Jerry’s Famous Deli is defunct, all of the usual traffic has migrated to Art’s. Personally, I’m not a great fan of their food, but it’s a great place to meet under certain circumstances. I was going to meet some friends, and I was the first to arrive. So I checked in at the front, and the host told me to pick a table and he would follow me. I walked through the restaurant and found a nice booth and said, “There’s good energy in this booth. I’ll sit here.” He pointed out that the people in the corner booth, just a few feet away, were all from a TV show that deals with interventions, and getting people off drugs and alcohol. So he agreed that there was good energy in that part of the room. I laughed and told him that I was BSing him initially, but maybe I was on to something! There really WAS good energy in that section! My friends Edi and Elliot Lurie soon arrived and sat down in the booth. In case you’re unfamiliar with Wally’s Weeks of the past, Elliot is a good friend of mine who wrote and sang “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” back in 1972 in his band called Looking Glass. This past August the song celebrated 50 years since it went #1 on the American Top 40 chart. Then the group of people in the corner booth started having a celebration of some sort, and singing “Happy Birthday.” Elliot looked over and said, “That’s Stephen Stills.” I told him that I was sure it wasn’t, but he insisted. Sure enough, when the people got up to leave it was indeed Stephen Stills! In case you’re unfamiliar with Mr. Stills’ work, he was one of the founding members of the famous group Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. He also had a fair amount of popular solo work. His big hit “Love the One You’re With” came out about two years before “Brandy” did. But I remember a few songs he released in around 1986 called “Can’t Let Go” and “Stranger.” I even interviewed Mr. Stills for a radio show back in 1993 at his home. Stephen Stills was a friend of Jimi Hendrix’ and legend has it that he taught Jimi many things about guitar playing. Come to find out, it wasn’t Stephen Stills’ actual birthday, but we heard him mention that it was the silver anniversary of his sobriety. Congrats, Stephen! That’s monumental! Between Elliot Lurie’s “Brandy” song, and having Stephen Stills so close, it really was great being the presence of two important voices of a generation. After lunch I drove to a local, famous mattress superstore and bought the queen version of the mattress I bought for my room back in 2020. The mattress in the Puppet Room had been in there a long time and had seen better days. It still slept comfortably, but it definitely needed to be replaced. I couldn’t even remember when I had initially bought it, it was so long ago. I went grocery shopping and one of the things on my list was those little 6 packs of Cokes in the glass bottles. But I’ve had a very difficult time finding them of late. However, after a trip to BevMo, I did manage to find little Pepsis in the glass bottles, so I opted for those. I‘ve always been more of a Pepsi guy anyway, so this should be neat! In the car on the way home I was telling my dad that I like to pop one of them in the freezer just before I watch TV before bed so it’s nice and cold. He laughed and warned me about leaving it in the freezer too long, as it never turns out well. I assured him that I was always on top of that and never had any screw-ups. However, when I got home to put my groceries away, I opened up the freezer and it looked like a murder scene. There was red liquid everywhere! I had forgotten that I had put a black cherry soda in the freezer the night before to enjoy before bed. But I changed my mind and decided not to watch TV and just go straight to sleep. Odd that I would have that conversation with my dad on the rare day that I would forget about my chilled soda in the freezer! Luckily, it all cleaned up fairly easily, but I’m going to be more diligent about chilling my drinks in the future. But honestly, that hasn’t happened to me in a very long time! I grabbed a quick nap in the Puppet Room; the final one on the old mattress before it’s traded out on Saturday for my new one. Later I got up to do some stuff around the house, including changing out the filter in my air conditioning system in the upstairs hallway. It was filthy! I walked and fed Roxy, and then went back outside for a long stroll through the complex by myself. Roxy no longer has the strength or energy for long walks, but I wanted to get out and get some exercise, enjoy a nice cigar and relax a bit. Later I made some hot dogs on the grill and got ready to watch another episode of “The Magician.” Since Roxy was awake and alert I carried her upstairs so we could hang out on the bed together, watch some TV and enjoy some food. But she was too restless; getting up and moving around, being annoying, etc. I was afraid with her weak legs that she would accidentally step off the bed and hurt herself in the fall. So I stopped the episode and carried her back downstairs. If she could have been cool and relaxed, and just enjoyed the food it would have been nice. But she was too restless and neurotic.

Saturday the 8th – FLAT STANLEY? PLUSH DONNIE?! – My new mattress was delivered just after 1pm and the guys who loaded it in were amazing. Being an older building, my stairways are fairly narrow. Please also note that I have a TON of artwork, etc. on my walls. These guys masterfully negotiated the area to move the mattress upstairs without disturbing a thing! Amazing! They even took the old mattress down without anything happening. I was so impressed I tipped them 20 bucks! I found out that the printing I needed for my Christoween® project had arrived at my mailbox, so I got ready and headed over to pick it up. The printing shipment included a few hundred promotion postcards that I’ll hand out at Son of Monsterpalooza next weekend, and some backing cards for the new embroidered patches I had made of a few of the Christoween® characters. I went over to Paty’s to sit on the patio, think and enjoy a salad. I was trying to come up with a promotional idea to give out the patches at Monsterpalooza. I had been monitoring several feeds from people who were attending the New York Comic Con that weekend, and one person was photographing a plush toy at various locations around the con. It made me think of the old Flat Stanley book, and realized that was a pretty good idea for my character Donnie Druthers and Monsterpalooza. I decided I would make up another plush figure of Donnie (I had some of the printed material for the figures in my garage in storage) and take him around to Monsterpalooza and photograph him in various locations. Furthermore, I decided to do a small social media promotion. If anybody sees me at Monsterpalooza and takes a selfie with Plush Donnie, and posts it to their social media, I’d give them a free embroidered patch. FUN! I got home and did some work, and then walked over to my stylist to get a touch up on my color before the convention next weekend. When I sat down in the chair I looked at the chair and stylist across from me, and it was my accountant David! Wild! We chatted a bit and then he went on his way. I walked back home and soon my friend Sabrina arrived. We drove over to Ernie’s Taco House and met up with my friend Emily for dinner. It was great, and it was wonderful hearing live music, as a musician we’ve seen there before was providing music. Sabrina and I both love the song “Quando Quando Quando,” so I tipped him 5 bucks to play it. He did a wonderful version of it. I got back home with a full tummy and took a short nap. I got up later to dig out my Donnie Druthers fabric and start planning to make my plush Donnie figure. I also started cutting the backing cards for the embroidered character patches. I spent all night with my paper cutter trimming the cards and attaching the patches to them. I realized that the printer had made an error. I had four different character patches, and they each needed to have backing cards printed for each character; Frankie, Donnie, Bride and Creature. But they forgot to print the cards for Bride, and accidentally doubled up on the cards for Creature. Now I have to call them and have them print the correct cards and send them over. It always saddens me when professional establishments don’t check their work before they send it out. I had reached out to one of my seamstresses to see if she’d be able to stitch a machine seam around the plush Donnie fabric, then I could stuff it and hand- stitch it closed. But I didn’t hear from her, so I decided to try hand-stitching the entire thing myself. The results were predictably disappointing. I stuffed him and stitched up the bottom, but the stuffing was starting to stress the seam because the stitches weren’t placed tightly enough. Great. But, it should do for the convention next weekend at least. Since last weekend I was in prep mode for my procedure, I postponed my monthly “Laurel and Hardy Theatre” (which I normally do on the first Saturday of every month) and did it this weekend. Sabrina loves Laurel and Hardy and we look forward to it every month. So I made the traditional Chef Boyardee pizza, and we filled our Oliver Hardy mugs with Pepsi and got ready to watch “A Chump at Oxford.” This was the first time Sabrina got to drink from her newly repaired Oliver Hardy mug that I bought her (if you remember from a Wally’s Week entry last month) so it was especially fun. I love how she enjoys the dopey humor of Laurel and Hardy movies, as most 22 year olds I know probably wouldn’t “get it.” And I know she’s not faking it because she’ll quote lines from the film later on.

Sunday the 9th – DOROTHY DAY! – My seamstress Shelley returned my call and said she could run a stitch around my Donnie figure easily enough if I brought it by after 4pm. I hastily cut another one out of the fabric, pinned it together and put it in a sack. Sabrina wants to be Dorothy from “The Wizard of Oz” for Halloween. Her family is hosting a big party at their house and she wanted to be dressed to kill. So we took off for a store called Halloween Town in Burbank to try and find a costume. There was a line of people waiting to get in when we got there, as there’s a capacity limit in the store. We got in, found the exact costume she needed, and off we went. But now the biggest problem for this character…the Ruby Slippers! Halloween Town didn’t have them, so we went to a vintage clothing store to see what we could find. We walked to the back of the store and VOILA! There they were! Ruby Slippers! PERFECT! However, upon closer inspection, they were about a size 14 in men’s. These were even too big for ME, let alone Sabrina, but somebody had them made at some point to do a “Dorothy in drag” presentation. So, it was across the street to my old standby It’s a Wrap. It’s a store that sells wardrobe from TV shows and movies that are out of production. Wardrobe departments spend oodles of money buying clothes for the cast members in a show, but when the show is over, they sell the leftover (and often times slightly-used or never-used) wardrobe to this store to sell to the general public. They have a fair amount of Halloween stuff out now, but we found a pair of shoes just one size bigger than Sabrina’s feet that were perfect. We just needed to trim off a few straps, and these would make great Ruby Slippers! They were made in pink leather, but the leather had been damaged a bit, so they were marked down to 10 bucks. Since the shoes would be covered with glue and glitter eventually it really didn’t matter that the leather was damaged. But when we got to the counter I received a shock. They were only TWO bucks! They had been marked down even further! It was truly our lucky day. Feeling cocky we went over to Coral Café for dinner to discuss ways to turn these amazing shoes into the Ruby Slippers. Then I dropped by my seamstress Shelley’s so she could put the machine seam around the Donnie Druthers fabric. But as I sat there in the car with Sabrina I had an epiphany! Instead of a plush, how about a hand puppet! If I could cut the fabric a little differently, I could make a really cool Donnie hand puppet that I could take around to Monsterpalooza for my “Flat Stanley” endeavor! But it’s too late now. I had already cut the fabric for a plush figure, and Shelley is so busy with stuff I was lucky that she even consented to doing this for me. I brought the puppet idea up with Shelley and she said she wouldn’t have time to do it, but it was a good idea. We got back to the house and started working on the Ruby Slippers. Sabrina’s ride was on the way, and was in the area, so we had to hurry. I took out an Exacto knife and started cutting off the ankle straps very carefully. But a slip of the knife caused the blade to land in my finger right by my fingernail. It didn’t hurt, but boy it bled like crazy! I wrapped it up hastily and kept cutting. I just barely got the straps removed as she needed to pack up her things to take off. She’s going to take them to a local craft store and get suggestions on how to make them red and glittery. I went upstairs and hit my medicine cabinet and realized that I was out of Band-Aids! I managed to find one and bandaged up my finger with some Neosporin. Eh, what’s Halloween without some blood? My friend Emily was telling me about a party she’s going to on the 29th in Hollywood that’s “musical” themed. She said I should go along with her, but I wasn’t sure what I’d wear. Then I thought about those giant Ruby Slippers at that store. I also happened to see a Plus Size Dorothy dress at Halloween Town. And I have long enough hair to put into braids and ribbons. Perhaps I could go as a very big, very ugly, very hairy Dorothy in drag! Might be kinda funny, actually. And, it’s MUSICAL based! Might give that some thought. I took a nap on my new Puppet Room mattress, and when I got up later I had a text from Shelley that she would have time to stitch a puppet if I could get it to her on Monday. Brilliant! I got out my fabric and cut out a hand-puppet, similar to the way the old fabric hand puppets were made by toy companies when I was a kid. But just for good measure, I stuffed the fabric Shelley stitched up for me to make the plush figure, and carefully hand-stitched it shut on the bottom after it was stuffed. It turned out pretty good. I like the plush idea, but I think the puppet idea is much better for my purposes next week. I cut out more backing cards for the patches, and attached the patches to the cards. But without the cards for the Bride I can’t finish up. I’m sure I’ll have them by Tuesday or so of next week. I recorded a few auditions and sent them into my agents. Roxy was having a very good night physically. We had a nice long walk through the complex late at night. I love when she’s doing well like this, but it just kills me to see her struggle with her legs, balance and mobility. Luckily, her appetite still seems pretty good. But someday, it’s gonna hurt like hell to lose her.

And how was YOUR week??!!

PIX FROM THE WEEK

In case you haven’t seen it yet, go on amazon and watch “Hollywood Signs.” It’s an amazing documentary you’ll enjoy, and it’s all about the world of autograph collecting!

I was very sad to hear about the passing of comedy legend Judy Tenuta this past week. She surprised me by showing up to a Halloween party I threw several years ago. I was with comedy royalty!