This song from genius singer/songwriter Harry Nilsson has been on my mind a lot this week.
Tuesday the 5th – AAAAAAAND WE’RE BACK! – In the morning I took Arianna to the Burbank airport so she could return to South Dakota after her wild birthday trip to L.A. I headed over to Voice Trax West to record a half hour’s worth of IVR (Interactive Voice Response) for the company I had been doing the sessions for since February. Their phone system will launch in a few weeks, and I can’t wait to tell you what company it is. Now that we’ve recorded the bulk of the tracks, there’s only minor pick-ups to do before the big launch. While at Voice Trax West I recorded a quick bit for “The Tonight Show.” Then I headed back home. But I got a call that the bit needed to be redone because of a mistake in the script. So they sent me the revised script and I recorded it all over again in my home studio. In comedy everything has to be exactly right, otherwise the jokes won’t play correctly. I hit the road and headed to my chiropractor’s office for an adjustment. I was supposed to have an acupuncture appointment before I saw him (they’re in the same office) but recording the bit for “TTS” prevented that from happening. Work before play I guess! When I was done at the chiropractor’s I went to NBC to tape the show. It was good to be back in action after a week’s hiatus. I went back home, grabbed a nap, then woke up and did some stuff around the house. My assistant Sara came over to watch an episode of “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” on DVD.
Wednesday the 6th – AWESOME ANIMAL ANTICS! – I woke up twenty minutes before I realized that I had to be at an audition! It just slipped my mind. But I got showered and dressed and headed over to McCoy Productions in North Hollywood and only ended up being a few minutes late! WOW! After the audition I drove by a house a realtor wanted me to check out. It looked better on the e-mail. The house in person looked a lot smaller and not in as good a shape as the pictures indicated. But I’m glad I saw it. I hit the Burger King drive thru and headed to NBC for the taping of “TTS.” It was an awesome show. Anytime they have the animals on the show it’s an amazing time. There was some sort of baby wild cat that was on the show and when he turned around and looked at Jay he hissed at him. But when the birds came out one of them flew up and landed on Jay’s head and stayed there through almost the entire interview. Just before the commercial break, almost as if on cue, one of the birds flew into the audience. It was wild! Billy Ray Cyrus was the musical guest and sang a great song about the military. My sinus headache was particularly bad today. This has been going on for about two months now and I’m mighty sick of it. The inflammation in my right sinus will not subside, no matter what I do. So I went to a vitamin and herb place and had the lady there recommend some supplements to take. At this point I’ll try anything. I also hit the craft store and picked up some small rhinestones. I bought a 21″ Elvis figure with a cloth costume that looks great. The jumpsuit is in the style of his “Flame” suit (a suit that Elvis only wore twice) but I really liked that one. Apparently so did the designer of the figure. But while the flames were silk-screened on to the jumpsuit, it still lacked some pizazz. So I got little red, orange and yellow rhinestones to glue on to the suit to spice it up a bit. Upon my doctor’s advice I went to Bed, Bath and Beyond and bought some anti-allergy pillow cases, a mattress case and a Hepa filter air cleaner. He said my allergies keep inflaming my sinuses so it’s best to use these things to prevent any further irritation. Like I said, I’ll try anything. I also stopped by Staples and bought some office supplies, then I went home to lay down for awhile. When I woke up I did some auditions in my home studio to e-mail to my agent, then I set up the Hepa filter air cleaner and got that going. I also broke out the anti-allergy covers and put them on my pillows. But the hard part was putting the mattress case over my king size mattress! I had to stand it up on its end, wrap the end of the cover over the top and slowly work it down over the mattress. I laughed because it was like trying to put on a very large condom! But I got it on, put the sheets and comforter back on and I’m now in the anti-allergy business! Wish me luck!
Thursday the 7th – UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN! – In the morning I got a call from the “TTS” folks to record a bit from home. When I finished that I laid back down. A half hour later they called again with another bit. I got up and recorded that bit, sent it in and laid back down again. A half hour later I got a call to come into the studio to record a bit there. When I finished the in-studio bit I had a little time before the taping so I took a poster over to Fast Frame to have it framed. It’s a 16 X 20 color print of the Happy Days cast and it has the signatures of all the principles. I’ve been meaning to get it framed for quite awhile now. I went back to NBC to tape “TTS,” then headed out to get more cat food at the vet’s. I also sped by the craft store to pick up more rhinestones. I had run out while working on Elvis’ flame suit. I got home and attached the new rhinestones to Elvis’ costume, but I ran out again! I took a nap and then met my friends Edi and Sara at Jerry’s Famous Deli for a late dinner.
Friday the 8th – BLINDSIDED! – I was supposed to have lunch with my old pal Ken Dennis, but “TTS” called with four bits for me to record, including one song, so I had to take a rain check! I had to record a parody version of the Chili’s Baby Back Ribs jingle. It was hilarious and it turned out great. I had to record it in three parts. First, the low bass part “I want my baby back baby back” (except in this case it was “I want my baby drunk baby drunk baby drunk…), then I recorded the tenor part that was to be layered over that (Chili’s…babies get drunk!), and then the bass tag that said “Kids on the sauce.” I sent the tracks over to the editor separately so he could mix it himself. I did manage to squeeze in a quick nap before the taping. After the taping of “TTS” I went to get more rhinestones, then met with Sara and Edi at The Counter for a delicious hamburger. But when I got home..DAMN! Out of rhinestones again. That means I would have to run over on Saturday and pick up one more package to complete the costume. As things settled down and got quiet around the house, the week started to catch up to me. I hadn’t really had much time to focus on Sassie and how much her loss affected me. But now that things were quiet, the house was still, and I had time to sit and catch my breath..BAM! Out of the blue I got blindsided. KAPOW! Sucker punched by a cloud of sadness. I guess it had built up all week and now it was time to release it all. I heard the faint strains of an old song in my head that I had heard maybe only a couple of times when I was 18 on an old Nilsson album. But the song has been lingering undercover in my subconscious all these years waiting for the right time to surface. The song is called “Without Her” and in it the singer is bemoaning the fact that his live-in girlfriend has left him. I thought it might be good to hear again, but after finding an acoustic version on You Tube I realized it was a bad idea. The song is absolutely heartbreaking. And Nilsson (who’s a genius, by the way) performs it wonderfully, with so much passion and heart. Just him and a guitar. Bare bones, but powerful. Well, needless to say the song’s lyrics reminded me of my own situation with my late collie girl, and I burst out in tears. But it didn’t pass quickly. Apparently the build-up from the week was bigger than I thought. I couldn’t stop crying, or thinking of Sassie, or listening to “Without Her.” I dragged myself off to my bed and laid there weeping. Damn! How long are these periodic spells of sadness and mourning going to last??!! Luckily I was able to fall asleep for awhile and get a quick nap. When I awoke several hours later I felt better. I called Sara and Edi and they brought some food from Denny’s over and we watched “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.”
Saturday the 9th – SUPER SATURDAY! – I was up early for a call-back audition. Remember the audition earlier in the week I was almost late for? Well, I got a call-back and had to be there at 10:30. I called my assistant Sara to stay at my house to let my maids in while I did the audition. It was Saturday, it was hot, and I was feeling lazy. So I put on my Playboy TV cap, a sleeveless shirt, some ratty shorts and sandals. But to my surprise, when I arrived at the studio for the audition, the producers were at the audition! I had no idea they would be there in person. Otherwise I wouldn’t have dressed like a bum! I figured it would just be the casting director and an engineer. I felt awful! But the audition seemed to go well. But it still would have been nice to know that the producers were going to be there. I stopped by my mail place to get my mail, then back to (you guessed it!) the craft store for my final batch of rhinestones to complete Elvis. I picked up a tuna sandwich from Subway on the way home and got home just in time as he maids were finishing up. I paid them and then relaxed. I napped for a bit, but then my pal Brittney Powell came over for awhile to check on me. She took off and I went back to bed for another nap. I slept right up until it was time to start movie night. We watched the Mystery Science 3000 movie (SUPER funny!) and Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band starring the Bee Gees. This movie is not as bad as they say. It’s actually quite zany and enjoyable. The music is top notch! After everyone left I went back on-line and Googled the lyrics to Nilsson’s “Without Her.” I wanted to change a few lyrics and possibly record it for my website with my pal Bruce Kulick on acoustic guitar. I hit the hay with some dinner to watch another episode of “The Man from U.N.C.L.E.” and I noticed something peculiar. My cat Spooky was waiting for me on the bed, just like Sass used to do. I’ve noticed over the past few days that Spooky has elevated himself to the position that Sassie used to hold. He’s become more social, more involved with me, more affectionate and more attentive. Thank God I’ve got him, as he helps to ease the difficulty of not having Sassie a bit. And by golly, he stayed by me while I watched the show and ate pieces of chicken, JUST LIKE SASS USED TO DO! Aren’t animals amazing?
Sunday the 10th – A 70’S SUNDAY! – I slept pretty late, and when I got up I met with my friend Kassandra and her brother who was visiting from Ireland. He’s a big car enthusiast, so after a tour of Planet Wallywood, we took my 1974 Gran Torino out for a spin to get lunch. Then I headed over for evening church. When church was over, I got back in the car, rolled down the windows and cranked the radio. “Strawberry Letter 23” from The Brothers Johnson was playing! I had played that hundreds of times on my radio shows in the 70’s! The day was cooling off considerably and it was a beautiful evening. Perfect for driving around in the Torino! My friend Amanda called to say she was on her way over, so I figured I’d drive around the neighborhood while I waited for her to get to my neck of the woods. I saw some old friends on the street…Mark and Julie…who have almost been married a year. I helped Mark with a song he recorded for Julie before the wedding. They were amazed at the car! At first when I drove by the house I saw a guy looking at my car with a look of astonishment. Then in a flash I realized it was Mark, and Mark realized it was me! I spun the ol’ Torino around fast and went back to talk to them. We talked for about 20 minutes and then Amanda called to say she was at my house. What are the chances of seeing Mark and Julie on the street at that exact time??!! I guess you’re where you’re supposed to be, when you’re supposed to be there. I went to pick up Amanda and then I decided I wanted to drive into Hollywood in the Torino and drive down Hollywood Boulevard. It’s just something I thought would be fun. On the way to Hollywood I noticed a guy in an SUV in the lane next to me, checking out the car. It was the actor Billy Zane. Wild! Picture this…a nice, cool, breezy summer night in Los Angeles, the sun’s just beginning to set, I have the windows rolled down and I’m cruising along in my Gran Torino painted like the old Starsky and Hutch car. The radio station is playing “Long Time” from Boston, from about 1975. It was just what I needed! People in Hollywood took photos of the car as we drove by. But the funniest thing happened! I was heading west on Hollywood Boulevard, but a large Hollywood tour bus (you know, the ones without the tops where the people sit up high) was in the left turn late heading east. I stopped and let the driver turn left. Of course all of the tourists in the bus were looking at the Torino and taking pictures and pointing. I grabbed my microphone and turned on my P.A.! I said, “How are you doing!? Welcome to Hollywood!” Amanda commented that I probably made somebody’s trip to Hollywood more memorable by doing that. They’ll probably go back home to Wisconsin and tell all their friends about the talking Torino. Too cool! We hit Wendy’s drive thru and got some food and then headed back home just as it was starting to turn dark. What a fun cruise night!! I didn’t have any auditions to do, because the summer slow-down is in effect. But I finished up Wally’s Week, answered a few e-mails, and made it an early night. Just as well since I had a full week of stuff coming up that I’d need to be rested for. Garfield sessions, more IVR sessions, and a few more things. Plus Comic Con was in less than two weeks, so I’d need to prepare a bit for that. Oh yeah, and next Saturday is another autograph show that I’m anxious to attend! And Billy Zane is going to be one of the guests! I wonder if he’ll remember me as the guy he saw driving the red and white Starsky and Hutch Gran Torino?
And how was YOUR week??!!
