February 21 – February 26 (2023)

RANDOM PIC OF THE WEEK

This stone plaque is at the Palm Springs dog park. Every time I saw it there it would bring a tear to my eye. But now even more so.

I first heard this song in the movie “Love Actually,” and I’ve loved it ever since. It’s Kelly Clarkson with “The Trouble With Love Is.”

Tuesday the 21st – HEADING INTO THE HEAD! – Once again I woke up way too early. So I figured I’d make the most of the day and get going. I walked Roxy and then did a few auditions. I drove over to my box to pick up my packages, and not only did I get my Vandy Kaufman custom shoes in, but I got my Wild Tiger storage bangle toy. VERY cool! It’s similar to the wristband that Kotetsu wears (the character I voice) in “Tiger and Bunny.” I figured I’d buy one and wear it at conventions while I’m signing. Unfortunately it’s so small it just barely fits on my wrist. I think I’ll only wear it for photos. But it produces sound effects from the show, and has a lighting display as well. I drove the Gray Ghost over to the store to get some groceries and then headed home. I strapped on my walking shoes and walked over to GNC to pick up some supplements I needed. Then I walked back home (briskly!) to do some work. I recorded some more auditions and then grabbed a short nap. When I got up later I did some work around the house, and decided to start making the head of my new Super Grover replica Muppet. IT’s looking VERY good! I made a salad and watched another episode of “The Incredible Hulk.”

Wednesday the 22nd – TRYING TO CRACK THE CODE! – Unfortunately I didn’t sleep very well overnight. My stomach was slightly upset and I’m wondering if the chicken breast I put in my salad was too old. Roxy’s groomer arrived to give her a bath, and the wind and the cold started up! A very rainy week was on the way. After Roxy finished her bath and grooming, I grabbed a short nap. When I got up later I did my nightly auditions, and then started work on finishing Super Grover’s head. While the top of the head was easy, I just couldn’t crack the code on his lower jaw. And I literally spent all night working on it! I got a lower jaw that was adequate, but I still wasn’t very happy with it.

Thursday the 23rd – KROFFT SUPERSTAR! – My buddy Drew Massey texted me about going over to the Sid and Marty Krofft production office to meet Marty Krofft. The Krofft brothers produced a lot of great television when I was a kid, not the least of which being “H.R. Pufnstuf.” While I was there I saw my pal Rob Klein, who is working with the Krofft legacy to preserve their properties. Rob interviewed Drew and I about our love for the Krofft shows for an on-line feature called “Mondays with Marty.” What a great time! When I got home I fed the pets. But Roxy was not doing well. She’s gone downhill considerably just over the past few weeks. I was filled with dread for what was to come. I went to Little Toni’s to have dinner with my old pal Chris Malmin. I came back home with a tummy full and had a nice nap. The rain started, and the next few days were going to be very wet, windy, cold and nasty. I did my nightly auditions and then started working on Grover’s lower jaw again. I wasn’t very happy with the first result. The way to actually do it dawned on me earlier in the day. I redid the pattern, cut the foam, glued it all together and VOILA! It was perfect! I put the finger loop in the new lower jaw and attached it to the head. I filed the patterns away for future use. Since Halloween, a neighbor of mine has had a really cool “flame” bulb in their porch light fixture. It makes it look like the flame on a torch. I found a set of two on Amazon and ordered them for my monster display. I have two lights that shine through the translucent windows in the castle wall, which serves as the background behind my classic monster figures in the living room. I had a color changing bulb in the lamps that shone a red light, but sometimes when I’d hit the light switch it would default back to white. So I thought the flame bulbs might be a good option to make it look like the fireplace inside the castle is roaring. These “flame” bulbs didn’t exist when I first set up the “monster wall.” I ate some leftover pizza from my dinner at Little Toni’s earlier in the night, and watched an episode of “The Incredible Hulk” as the rain started its weekend-long stay.

Friday the 24th – ANOTHER VERY TOUGH DECISION! – While the rain fell outside (sometimes very heavily) I slept all day. When I got up later in the afternoon I tried to take Roxy out to potty. As expected, it didn’t go well. The downpour coupled with her mobility and confusion issues made for a very messy time. It was time to make a very, very tough decision. Roxy’s quality of life was not good, and making her continue to live like this was actually a cruelty of sorts. So I made the call to “Hearts and Halos,” an in-home service that had been recommended to me by neighbors, to see what their availability might be to come out to the house. I finally had to wrap my brain around it logically, and once I did, I realized it was the best for all involved. I got the appointment for them to come to the house at 2pm on Saturday. I had less than a final 24 hours to be with her. I decided to sleep on the couch in the living room so I could be next to her. I lit the fireplace and made it nice and cozy for us. I gave her some of her pain pills that would make her very sleepy for the next day. Her legs were very stiff, she was falling down a lot, she was very confused and walked around in circles a lot; it was not a good way to live. I fed her some chicken, tuna, and her favorite – blueberry bread! She gobbled that up so fast she almost took my fingers off! I had potty pads underneath her and she had wet them several times. I put her main bed in the washer, as I wanted that to be the bed she was on when it was time to say goodbye. Then I rested on the couch for a while. As I lay there meditating, I said to God, “She can’t walk, she can’t run, she can’t hear, she can’t get up by herself, she can’t go downstairs, she can’t go upstairs, she can’t squat to pee, she can’t play.” And a voice in my head said, “What CAN she do?” I couldn’t answer back. The truthful answer was “nothing.” Those four words right there made me realize what I had to do. During the night I got up and watched her. For a period of time her breathing seemed a bit labored. Since it was pouring rain outside I realized that going outside for potty breaks was impossible. So I stood her up and let her pee on the rubber matting that I’ve had in my living room since last May, when all of her problems really began. It was then, at 5:40am, that I saw the blood in her urine. Had I taken her outside to pee, I never would have seen that. So in a way, the onslaught of rain we’ve been having was a blessing. It was the definitive confirmation that I had been asking God for. Her body was breaking down and it was time for her to go. I spent as much time petting her as I could. She can no longer hear me, but she can feel me. I went outside for a while in the rain to take my mind off things. I cleared away a large branch that had fallen onto the driveway, and I cleared away some leaves from the drainage grate. I took a short walk in the rain and the quote from Charlie Chaplin came to mind, “I like walking in the rain, so no one can see me crying.” I prayed to be able to put on the brave face when the doctor arrived. I vowed not to break into an “ugly cry” that would be embarrassing. But I’m sure the doctor has seen it all before. For privacy I’ll pull the Gray Ghost out of my garage so she can park inside. If I had any doubts up to that point that I was doing the humane thing, the blood in her urine was the turning point. I thanked God for that sign. I went to bed around 6am.

Saturday the 25th – GOODBYE, GOOD FRIEND! – Obviously sleeping wasn’t easy, and after about 3 hours of sleep I sprang awake. It was only 9am and the doctor was still 5 hours away. I fed Roxy some more of her favorite foods, gave her a few more pain pills, and picked her up so she could have some water. The rain had paused for about an hour, so we went outside for one final outdoor potty break. She did both #1 and #2. What a good girl. She walked around on the wet grass for a while but I could tell she was getting tired. I carried her back inside to lie down. Back in 2011 when my other collie Sassie passed away it was entirely different circumstances. Circumstances that I’ve always regretted. She had neurological myelopathy in her back legs. There wasn’t any pain because the nerves were all dying. It basically just felt like her legs were asleep. Because of her size I had to take her down to a facility in Orange County that had an MRI machine capable of accommodating a dog of her size. I left her overnight for the procedure to see if there was anything, ANYTHING that they could do for her. They would put her under anesthesia so she wouldn’t move around during the scan, and assess the situation with her back legs. They called me the next morning and told me there wasn’t anything they could do. Furthermore, while she was under anesthesia, her blood pressure was dropping considerably. They asked what I wanted to do. My logical mind took over and I said, “Let her go.” When I hung up the phone I remember collapsing to my knees in absolute pain and sorrow. While I wouldn’t get to see her one last time, it was the logical thing to do. The alternative was to have them bring her out of anesthesia, I would travel all the way to Orange County, see her one final time, (if she even was able to be revived) and then they’d administer the final medication. It just didn’t make any sense for them to do that to her. Though it was the logical thing to do, I’ve always regretted not being there with her at the end. I vowed that I wouldn’t do that again. So as hard as it will be, at least Roxy will be in my loving arms when the time comes. I came back inside to lie down but I just wasn’t tired. I distracted myself by working on Super Grover’s pudgy little tummy. As I went out to periodically check on Roxy she was awake, looking at me. She was either looking for more of that yummy blueberry bread, or she could read my energy and knew that something was up. I kissed her smooch patch and gave her a lot of pets during the day. I knew she couldn’t hear me, but I was hoping she could read my spirit. I told her what a great dog and a wonderful friend she’s been, and that we had some great adventures together. It was 1pm when the doctor called and said she was on her way. I strapped on my “Mr. Spock” attitude and tried to approach the rest of the afternoon with logic and common sense. By the grace of God I’d be able to maintain a stiff upper lip through it all. It was the right thing to do, after all. The doctor arrived and backed into my garage. She explained how everything was going to happen and she came upstairs to meet Roxy. I had a full and complete understanding of the process. Without going into the details of the procedure, just know that I was curled up on the floor behind Roxy kissing and petting her throughout the entire thing. The strangest thing happened. As we were all surrounding Roxy, Spooky came down to investigate. He literally jumped up on me and stood on my side as I was petting Roxy. DAMN is that cat intuitive! He knew something was up too. As the doctor worked on Roxy, Spook got down and walked around her to look at what was going on. I think he was honestly concerned that she was going to hurt Roxy. The doctor and her assistant were great. The doctor administered the final medication, put her stethoscope on Roxy’s chest and around 2:45pm she said, “Roxy has passed.” I thanked her for her help and asked if they needed assistance carrying her downstairs to the car. They said they would handle everything. It was a gloomy, cold, rainy afternoon that I’ll never, ever forget as long as I live. As painful as it was, I was very glad that I was there with Roxy for the end; unlike the situation with poor Sassie. As they drove off into the stormy gray day, I stood in my garage and waved a final goodbye to the greatest dog I’ve ever known. The end of an era. When I went back inside I was completely numb. It was all too surreal. But again, it was the right thing to do. Her quality of life was not good, and it was actually a cruelty to keep her around any longer in her condition. I came back inside and worked on Super Grover some more. I didn’t know what else to do, but I had to stay occupied and distracted. I couldn’t go outside, it was a monsoon. Around 3:30 I fed Spook an early dinner, put a post about Roxy on my social media accounts, I showered and slept in the Puppet Room. Completely mentally and spiritually exhausted, I slept for 10 hours. It’s the first time I’ve slept longer than 4 hours in many, many months. But I really needed it. When I got up I checked my social media, cried a lot, and decided to start cleaning up the living room; which had been Roxy’s living quarters since May. I restored it back to the living room it once was. I pulled up all the rubber padding, took it out the garage and shredded it into little squares so it would fit into my recycle bin. I brought the little wooden fences that surrounded Roxy’s living perimeter down to the garage for storage. I washed out her food bowls and kept them, but threw out the metal frame that held them. It had become rusty and nasty. I cleared out all of her food and supplements from the cabinet. The prescriptions I’ll give back to the vet’s office, but the food and supplements I’ll donate to the local shelter. I’ll also donate all of the leftover diapers and potty pads. I’m going to ask my friend Sara to do that for me as it will be too painful for me to do. I decided to sit down at my computer and try and be normal, so I did my auditions. I’ve gotta keep busy. I made my usual Saturday Night Super Saint Salad and watched an episode of “The Saint” before bed. I reflected on the fact that, while everything was done logically and sensibly, it didn’t make it any less painful. But if you’ve ever lost a pet you know exactly how I felt. I reflected on the wonderful 10+ years Roxy and I had together with laughter, smiles, and a few tears. When the prospect of having to say goodbye to Roxy became a reality several months ago, I told myself that it would be a little easier this time than it was saying goodbye to Sassie. After all, since Sassie’s passing I’ve lost a lot of good friends – my contractor Terry, my pal Fred, Pastor Bob, Uncle Chuckie McCann, my “adopted grandma” Shirley, my funny friend Gil, Adam West, and many, many more. I thought that the advent of losing so many human friends might somehow soften the loss of another pet, and make it slightly less impactful. Boy was I wrong.

Sunday the 26th – SLEEPFUL SUNDAY! – Still spiritually, emotionally, and psychologically exhausted, I slept the entire day. I got up briefly to feed Spook, but I went back to bed and slept all night. I did get up in the middle of the night to work around the house, and prep for the new week.

And how was YOUR week?!

PIX FROM THE WEEK