Since the group Naturally 7 performed John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” on “The Tonight Show” last Wednesday, I’ve been humming it over and over. Each time I hum a different part of their harmony. Now remember, there are NO musical instruments used in this song…it’s all being performed by their voices! Utterly amazing!
Monday the 20th – MOONDAY MONDAY! – The week was definitely in a slow-down mode because of the upcoming holiday week. I slept in fairly late, but got up in time to go to the taping of ‘The Tonight Show.” Afterwards I dropped by the bank to sign a few papers for some investments I’m rolling over, then I stopped by the grocery store and picked up some of those delicious ham and cheese baguette sandwiches I love so much (WONDERUL with some hot Campbell’s tomato soup!). It was going to be a rainy week so it was the perfect “rainy-day” food! I met up with my friend Brittney Powell and we headed over to meet my friend Sara at The Counter for dinner. But on the way something odd happened. We were at a stoplight and I had the Christmas music blaring in the car. But I heard what sounded like somebody shouting and making a ruckus. I looked over to the right and the car in the lane next to the car in front of us had a bare ass hanging out the window! The car in front of us was being MOONED! I told Brittney to look quick and when she did she got a shock! We both laughed and thought it was so funny we continued to talk about it the rest of the night. Does anybody really MOON anymore!? Apparently so!
Tuesday the 21st – SOME PEOPLE’S KIDS! – I made some calls in the afternoon. It was good to stay inside since it was raining pretty steadily! My friends Ron Chaney and his daughter Jacklynn were supposed to be in town for a doctor’s appointment, but they called and said they weren’t coming because of the weather. I don’t blame them. It was pouring! I went to do the taping of “TTS,” then met my friend Edi at It’s a Wrap to check out their holiday deals. It’s always amazing to me to see how parenting has changed over the years. Behavior that would have gotten my butt paddled as a kid, is now being allowed in public everywhere! For example, there was this REALLY annoying boy in the store who was being VERY loud. At first I thought it was kind of cute that the kid was excited about Christmas. But then his horrible behavior persisted. His mom did nothing, and his dad virtually ignored him. The brat stood on the stairway pointing his finger at people and making a shooting sound. He was pretending to shoot everyone who came near him. I wished I was wearing a belt because I wanted to take him over my knee. He was annoying the other shoppers, and the staff. In fact, he was annoying everyone except his own parents, who seemed oblivious! That made me want to spank THEM! I kept my distance because I know I would have blurted something out about his horrible behavior and probably gotten into an argument with “the parents of the year.” But I kept my cool. They went to the checkout counter to purchase their items, and “wunderkid” started HITTING HIS FATHER WITH HIS FIST! The father just looked away, and tried to fend off the brat’s attacks with his hands. I mean, this kid was FULL ON hitting his dad! Once they left, I felt that the store wanted to break out in applause. I looked at the gal behind the counter and she smiled and rolled her eyes. I used Rodney Dangerfield’s famous “Caddyshack” line and said, “Now I know why tigers eat their young.” Edi was appalled as well. What’s happening in this world? Is it because of all the government intervention with a parent’s discipline of a child that makes them too nervous to properly parent their children in public? And to add to all of this, some lady was in the men’s section looking at the shirts, COUGHING ALL OVER THE PLACE and not even covering her mouth. I wanted to go home, pull covers over my head and hide. The world was coming apart! But instead I met Sara over at Ernie’s Taco house and she, Edi and I ate some Mexican food.
Wednesday the 22nd – DOUBLE RAINBOW! – I went to see my chiropractor to get adjusted before the holiday break. I had been having headaches and stiffness in my neck. He thought I may have some sort of sinus issue going on as well. It would be the last appointment before the year ended. I got cracked and went on my way to work. There were more amazing animals on “TTS” including a couple of baby lions. Before the second act I went to get a bag of chips and a soda and saw the little travel cages that housed the lion cubs. I walked up to check them out and one was doing this cute little growl, and the other was just sitting there patiently looking RIGHT AT ME! They were gorgeous! So much intelligence in their eyes! In fact, when the little rascal looked at me I almost could hear him say, “Someday buddy, you’ll be my dinner!” Looking out the soundstage, I saw the most beautiful DOUBLE RAINBOW I had ever seen. You could see the ENTIRE rainbow, not just a little bit of it. In fact, some of the guys on the crew stepped out to see it and take pictures of it. It was truly magical! The musical guest was Naturally 7 who did an AWESOME version of John Lennon’s “Happy X-Mas (War Is Over).” This group does everything with their voices, and they have no band instruments. They vocalize horn effects, bass guitar effects, even drum effects! It’s amazing. It was riveting listening to them perform this song! After the taping I went to the bank to make a deposit. The oddest thing happened. A guy walked up to the window next to me and I had to look twice. Though he was a little taller, the guy looked VERY similar to my late Grandpa Joe! Same posture, same facial structure, same glasses, same hair…everything! He must’ve thought I was odd for staring, and I was really trying not to! I looked down at his hands and he even had the same kind of hands my grandpa had! I started to get a little misty at the window. I grabbed my money, bid everyone a Merry Christmas and got to my car. WOW! That was something! It was almost like seeing my grandpa again! Then I went over to get my mail at my box, and order some pizzas for my church for Thursday night. It would be the last night the Tree Lot would be open at my church, and they asked for volunteers to feed the volunteer crew. I’m not much for cutting trees or heavy lifting, but I figured the least I could do would be to supply some food. So I went to Domino’s and ordered four pizzas to be delivered to the church Thursday night at 5:30…their dinner time. The pizzas smelled so good, that I ordered one for myself to be delivered that night! YUM!
Thursday the 23rd – TORINO THURSDAY! – The 1974 Gran Torino I bought in October has given me more than my share of mechanical problems. It’s bound to happen with a car that’s 35 years old. Thought the interior and exterior were in GREAT shape, I wasn’t able to say the same for the mechanical aspects of the car. It seemed like one thing would get fixed and then something else would screw up. This car was in serious need of some TLC, and a BIG chunk of change to fix it! I had the gas tank completely removed, cleaned with acid and replaced, a new carburetor installed, the radiator repaired and painted, a new master cylinder, new wires, hoses, new temp sensor, ignition coil, a tire repaired (TWICE!), new plugs, new steering coupler, vacuum leak fixed, new ignition module, fuel pump, new brake booster, and more! It had been in not one, but TWO separate shops! And today was FINALLY the day I was going to pick it up! Sure it still needed little things like a new screw here, or a cable here or a vent control lever, but it was finally running smoothly. My pal Bodie Stroud from the legendary BS Industries got her running really well. My assistant Sara dropped me off at the shop and we looked the car over. Bodie said the car does NOT like to be cold, and runs better after it’s warmed up. He said when the temp gauge is right in the middle it’ll run best. So we started her up and let her run for awhile. He even repaired the paint scrape left by the delivery man when it was delivered on October 22nd! I got in the car and drove her over to NBC! It ran like a charm! I was SO happy! I got called in to “TTS” early to do a voice-over bit for a comedy sketch. Plus a pal of mine from “American Dad” was bringing his dad to the taping that day. His dad was a big car fan and had permission to meet Jay after the taping. I pulled the Gran Torino on the lot, parked and went inside to do my bit. Then I jumped back in the car, went over to Guest Relations and met up with Shawn and his dad, and drove them over to the stage in my Starsky Torino. They loved it! The taping was a lot of fun, and afterwards everyone was hugging and wishing each other a happy holiday break. Today would be our last taping until after the first of the year. Folks exchanged gifts, shook hands, hugged…the mood was very jovial! I think this hard-working crew would enjoy a much deserved weeklong break! I met Shawn and his dad backstage in the greenroom and in walks Jay! He talked to Shawn’s dad for awhile about some car stuff. Shawn’s dad showed Jay several photos of cars he used to own, and a few he would LIKE to own. What a great end to a great day! Shawn and his dad would have lots of fun stories to tell over the holidays! I bid everyone a fond farewell and told Jay, “Happy holidays, Boss,” and went on my way. I fired up the Torino and headed home. I dropped by the church to meet the pizza guy, but I got a shock. NO ONE WAS AT THE TREE LOT ANY MORE! They were closed up for good. Apparently they had sold out of trees and decided to close it up for the year. I had FOUR pizzas coming for NOBODY! Luckily there were several church folks working at the Food Pantry there. So once the pizzas showed up, I took one, and gave the other three to them. At least the pizzas didn’t go to waste.
Friday the 24th – CHRISTMAS EVE! – After staying up all night the previous night I slept in pretty late. I got up in time to open the house for my maids who came to clean it. Normally my cleaning is on every other Saturday, but since this Christmas Day was on Saturday, they came a day early. Everything looked swell when they left, and I called my pal Chuck McCann to meet me for lunch. It was the first sunny day in almost a week, so I wanted to eat somewhere that had an outside patio. I jumped in my Torino and started it up. Then it died. I started it again. Then it died again. Boy! Bodie wasn’t kidding when he said this car did NOT like to be cold. So I started it a third time and revved it a little. I pulled out of the garage and gunned it. It hesitated a bit then moved out. On the way to the restaurant it died again, but started right up again. It just needed to wake up a little. I took it to the Studio Cafe and parked it where I could look at while I ate lunch. Chuck, who has been in two “Starsky & Hutch” episodes, got to see my ride and thought it was awesome. He said he remembered the show car to be a little brighter red than mine, but I told him it was the same shade of Ford paint they supposedly used on the show…Ford 2B Bright Red. Some guys were eating on the patio who were from Sweden, and we could hear them talking in Swedish and pointing to my car. They asked if it was mine and we started talking about it, and “Starsky & Hutch.” They said they got the show in Sweden in the 70’s, but it was subtitled in Swedish. The car looked great, but it was a little dirty from all the rain and mud we’ve had. So after lunch I decided to run her through the car wash. This would be like “baby’s first bath,” so I got my camera out to take shots. When I pulled up all of the car wash attendants stopped what they were doing to check it out. The owner of the car wash came up and said, “We’re HAND WASHING this, right?” I said, “Yes please.” He and I started talking about the car and I was starting to see what car guys got out of doing their car thing. This was fun! The attendant soaped the car up gently and washed her down, then took her through the rinse area and hosed her off. Then it was driven up to an area where a guy would hand dry the exterior, and clean all the windows inside and out. When they were done it looked PHENOMENAL! But she needed gas, so I drove over to the neighborhood Mobil and filled ‘er up! This car could REALLY drink gas! The gas tank is much bigger than most cars today, so it cost me about twice what it normally costs me to fill my Mustang! But it was worth it. I got back in the Torino and sped off to the church. The sun was starting to set, and it was almost time for the “Living Nativity” at church. Each year on Christmas Eve they have goats, sheep and a donkey next to a manger with Joseph, Mary and a baby Jesus. I pulled in, parked and went to check out the festivities. It was already starting to get quite busy as the kids fed and pet the animals and posed for photos. I went home to get a nap so I could be wide awake for the candlelight service at 11pm! But as I was walking Sassie, I got a call from Jim Hulihan who heads the Multi-Media Assemblies program that I’ve been involved with for over 10 years. He said that there were exciting things happening for 2011, and he thanked me for my continued involvement in the program. He said the shows I’ve narrated have been seen by over 10 MILLION KIDS in schools all over the world! TOO COOL! It’s a good program and I look forward to more work with them in the future! I slept for a few hours, but when I woke up I felt dizzy and stuffy. Apparently my chiropractor was right. There WAS some sort of sinus thing happening. That would explain why my equilibrium was off kilter! But I got cleaned up and ready for church. I met up with my friend Sara and her roommate Kat, as well as my friend Josh. We met up with my friend Colleen and walked over to the church, since parking was going to be a bear! At the church my friend Edi and her kids arrived and sat with us. It was a great service, as it is every year. After the service a bunch of us went out for dinner at Jerry’s and had some good food.
Saturday the 25th – HAPPY CHRISTMAS!! – I had taken some Sudafed to try and decongest my head so I slept pretty late. We were going to the Christmas buffet at the Hilton Universal at 5. I went to pick up Sara and Kat and it had started to sprinkle. We were going to get some more Christmas moisture. I had been to the Hilton’s Thanksgiving buffet a year ago, and had remembered being disappointed that they didn’t have ham. Thinking that ham wasn’t on everyone’s list for Thanksgiving, I grumbled a bit but let it go. But the strange thing was, they had an abundance of seafood….shrimp, lobster, crab, etc. No ham for Thanksgiving, but plenty of seafood. WHAT? Luckily the Sportsmen’s Lodge was back in business this past Thanksgiving and I had my appetite sated with some good old “Midwestern” Thanksgiving trimmings. But the Sportsmen’s wasn’t offering a Christmas dinner, so it was back to the Hilton. I figured that they’d HAVE to have ham for Christmas. After all, a Christmas ham was DEFINITELY tradition. But to my shock…NO HAM! In fact, they hardly had any turkey! They had a little bit of prime rib, but no ham! I even asked the manager where the ham was. And he said there wasn’t any. I laughed at my rotten luck. Now there were lots of crab legs, crab cakes, shrimp, jumbo shrimp, seaweed salad, clam chowder, seafood soup, lobster, sushi and other sea dwelling dishes, but I was finding virtually nothing in their 5 rooms of food that looked even remotely appetizing. Keep in mind that this buffet is not cheap at about 55 bucks a head. So for my 55 bucks, I had a dollop of some sickly-looking mashed potatoes, one sweet potato, and a tiny cut of turkey. Luckily, I managed to find the turkey which was almost hidden away in one crock pot. I saw my friend (and producer/director/writer for ‘The Garfield Show”) there too. He was having dinner with friends of his. Mark must’ve been having the same problem as I was, because at one point he walked by with a little dollop of something on his plate and he said, “There’s nothing to eat here. I’m sending out for pizza!” I laughed hysterically and said, ‘I’m with you!” But my pals Scott and his wife Vickie, and Sara and her roommate Kat enjoyed their meal immensely. I sat patiently at the table, dreaming of getting to DuPar’s for some REAL Christmas food. I dialed 411 on my cell phone, got the number of DuPar’s. It was BUSY! OH NO! Were they so busy with other alienated Hilton diners that they would run out of ham and turkey?! Panic set in! I frantically dialed again. They answered at last! Did they still have Christmas dinner? YES! I sighed an enormous sigh of relief and started counting the minutes till I could get to DuPar’s and get some real downhome food dished up. I dropped Sara and Kat at their house, then hightailed it over to DuPar’s. I told Sandra (one of the regular servers there whom I know) that she had to save me from seafood hell! She told me of the two choices for Christmas dinner that they had…Turkey with all the fixins, or ham with all the fixins. I told her I’d take both to go! YUM! So I got home and spread out my culinary treasure on my kitchen table…cracked open a Pepsi One and got to it. YUM! Rolls with butter! Mashed potatoes and gravy! Turkey…both white and dark meat! Mashed sweet potatoes! Ham! YUM! HAM! Christmas was complete! The regular movie night crew came over to watch some Christmas specials…Charlie Brown, the animated Grinch, and then “A Christmas Story,” which gets funnier every year! At one point the rain was POURING down! It was coming down so hard that the screen in the window in the Chaney Room was wet! The rain wasn’t just coming STRAIGHT down, it was coming down at an angle! At the end of the evening I wished everyone a safe trip home, and I went to find some more Sudafed in my medicine cabinet and try and unstuff my head!
Sunday the 26th – THE DAY AFTER! – I woke up mid-afternoon, walked Sassie, took some more Sudafed and went back to bed. I almost didn’t get up in time for evening church. I walked Sassie again, got showered and dressed and got to church a little late. But it was good to see everyone. After church I went to get some more meds at the local pharmacy. I got a text from my friend and effects guru Jim Ojala who was at my house waiting for me. With all of the holiday hubbub and my clogged sinuses, I forgot about our appointment! I hurried back home and got him the supplies he needed to start my next project for Planet Wallywood. It’s going to be a GOOD one! Then I met Edi and Sara for dinner at Panera Bread. I saw a young gal with a Paul McCartney and Wings t-shirt on and we started talking. I said I was just listening to the “Band On the Run” album yesterday. Come to find out she’s an advance person for Paul’s company MPL. It was fun talking to her, and discovering we had a few mutual friends along the way. After dinner I got home in time to meet up with Bruce Kulick and his friends who dropped over to say hi. We chatted for awhile, and I took them in the Chaney Room to show them some new acquisitions to the collection. A gray coat that I had bought from It’s a Wrap during the Halloween sale was laying on my chair. He wanted to know all about the jacket and I said I tried to wear it one day and it wasn’t that comfortable on me. He tried it on and it fit perfectly! I said, ‘Merry Christmas, it’s yours!’ I knew I bought that jacket for some reason! And that was it! I know it was used in some movie or TV show, but I’m not sure which one. Bruce said he plans on wearing it on stage at one of his gigs. Neat! Just as Bruce and company were leaving my pal Chuck McCann called. So we arranged to meet for pie at DuPar’s. We enjoyed a nice dessert and then ended the weekend. We’re off from “TTS” until after the first of the year, so I’m looking forward to the new week to get some stuff done around the house. AND HOW WAS YOUR CHRISTMAS??!!!
Pics from the Week
Shawn and his dad John show Jay some photos of classic cars, and then pose for a shot!
Baby’s first bath! Shining up the Torino to a shiny finish!
