December 2 – December 8 (2013)

RANDOM PIC OF THE WEEK

Over the past few years my cat Spooky has developed the amazing talent of curling his tail into a question mark when I scratch a specific place on his back. Well, since I’ve played The Riddler in 3 Batman Arkham videogames now, I think this is a particularly cool talent. So as I’m sitting there petting him I’ll ask, “Are you the Riddler’s cat?” and then scratch his spot. Due to the legendary unpredictability of the common housecat, it’s a little difficult to get the whole thing on tape. But I was lucky enough to capture it on my cellphone camera recently. And to make it even MORE amazing, check out the Riddler poster in the background!

Since I’m rockin’ the Christmas music in Planet Wallywood all the time now, one of my new favorites is “I’ve Got My Love to Keep Me Warm!” Except as I sing along, and if Roxy’s in the room, I replace “love” with “dog.” This version is by the incomparable Tony Bennett!

Monday the 2nd – YOU’RE TOO LATE, MR. BOND! – My dog Roxy’s barking woke me up just after noon so I got up and walked her. I checked e-mails and went back to bed. This week we’re on hiatus from ‘The Tonight Show” so I am going to relax. I got up around 4 and took my James Bond movie posters to the UPS store to ship them to France for an upcoming private signing with Roger Moore. I had just received the shipping address that morning, and the signing was that Sunday the 8th. I was hoping that 5 or 6 days would be plenty of time to get them there safely for the signing. Had they not already been mounted on foam board I could have sent them folded on the plane with the guy who instigated the signing with Mr. Moore. But at standard movie poster size they are much too big to take on a plane with minimal risk of damage. The signing was originally supposed to be in Switzerland, but at the last minute was changed to Monaco in France. But the folks at UPS said they would “maybe” make it to France by Saturday…a day ahead of the signing. But if they got held up in customs for some reason, they may not make it at all. And at the one-way shipping cost of $400+, I decided I didn’t want to risk it. So I had the UPS guy unpack my parcels, remove the posters and I headed back home. I have plenty of other things for him to sign (smaller items) that I sent with the producer. Maybe someday if he does another private signing, and I have more notice, I’ll send them over to him and finally get them signed. They already have signatures on them from some of the other stars in the films, but it would be nice to have the signature of 007 himself. I came home and got ready for dinner at Barone’s with my pal Mark Evanier, producer/writer/voice director of “The Garfield Show.” The food was awesome and we had a fun conversation. We ran into Voice Director Ginny McSwain there who was attending a birthday party. She’s known Mark since the late 70’s. What a small world! I came home and grabbed a nap, then got up to do some work around the house, crank out a few auditions, feed and walk Roxy, and start watching “The Twilight Zone” on Blu Ray before bed.

Tuesday the 3rd – ZMUDA ZANINESS! – Again I got up just after noon, made some calls and finished up Wally’s Week (a whole day late!). My assistant Sara went on some errands for me. It was a fairly gloomy day, so I went back to bed to nap for a few more hours. When I’m not working I like the night life. I’m very nocturnal…a habit I picked up doing overnight radio for years in my early days. I got up later in the afternoon and got ready to drive down to the LAX area to meet with my pal Bob Zmuda. For years Bob was Andy Kaufman’s writer/producer/co-conspirator. It’s always fun to meet with Bob as he has the greatest stories (next to Mark Evanier). So between Monday night and Tuesday night dinner meetings, my head would be full of awesome recollections from two greats. Bob handles International Singing Sensation Tony Clifton, and Tony’s famous orange damask tuxedo jacket has been fading and wearing out for years. So a few months back, I told Bob that I would research getting the famous material recreated so Tony could have a whole wardrobe of brand new orange damask tux jackets. Bob had just returned from a month-long vacation in Thailand, and while he was there he took some of the Clifton fabric with him. He returned with some amazing results. The tailors there not only made Tony a brand new tuxedo jacket, but they made him a matching bow-tie, hankie and vest! Amazing. And as a gift for supplying the fabric, Bob gave me a souvenir Tony bow-tie! I got home and started packing up my smaller Roger Moore items to send off to France for the signing. My pal Edi even came over to help out for awhile. I got all finished up, then headed to bed for an early morning.

Wednesday the 4th – BRRRRRR! – Right around 9:30 I got up, walked Roxy and got ready to head to DuPar’s to meet with David Elkouby. David runs the Hollywood Collector Shows and was sponsoring the Roger Moore signing. He was heading to the location where all of the Roger Moore items were being assembled for shipment. I had 10 neatly and securely packed collectibles with explicit instructions on how I wanted them to be signed. David and I enjoyed breakfast, and I thought it might have been Ashton Kutcher at the table next to us. It looked like him, but he looked different. David and I kept texting each other under the table discussing if it was really him or not. We didn’t want to speak our suspicions out loud lest he hear us. I left my items in David’s care and sped off to Voice Trax West to do a session for three children’s hospitals. Each hospital had 2 TV spots and 2 radio spots, so it was a total of 12 spots. And each needed to receive approval from their respective heads. So it turned into a three and a half hour session, but it was a lot of fun and the producers were great. It was a chilly day so I was looking forward to getting home, firing up the oven and making a frozen pizza…not so frozen any more. I walked Roxy and then grabbed a quick nap before my church’s Meditation service. A friend of mine from “The Tonight Show” joined me. But it was a cold night, and I had lots of layers on. So I wasn’t really able to focus fully on meditating because I was itchy. My friend, on the other hand, really enjoyed it and had a good experience. After the service I took my friend to my house to meet Spooky and Roxy. Then I hit the Jacuzzi for a quick dip, and came back inside for “Christmas Nappies.” That’s when I put Christmas music on the satellite, light the fire in the fireplace, and settle down with Roxy and Spooky in the living room for a warm, winter’s nap. Roxy and Spook each grab a beanbag, and I lay out on the couch with a few blankets. Just before I drifted off, I looked down at Roxy on the beanbag. It was amazing. She was staring into the fire, totally transfixed by the dancing flames. I spoke her name a few times and she didn’t even acknowledge me. Then her eyes slowly closed and she went to sleep. It was too cute. By the time I woke up four and a half hours later, I had a little bit of pain in my left eustacean tube. I took some Advil and did some auditions. I fed and walked Roxy and realized it was the coldest night of the year so far. In my area, the lows dipped to around 37! I got inside and did some work around the house, then got ready for a few more episodes of “The Twilight Zone” before bed. Since it was a cold night, some soup and a sandwich really hit the spot!

Thursday the 5th – I USE…THE PATCH! – At noon I sprung awake and got ready to head over to Warner Brothers to put in four hours for a videogame session. The script was marvelous and they wrote me some glorious words to say! It was fun speaking them out loud! Those are the best kinds of sessions! When I got back home I met up with my computer guy Sean who was trying to troubleshoot a problem I was having with my scanner. Since I renewed my Trend Micro security software, my scanner hadn’t been working properly. Apparently the two WERE related, and the dummies at Trend Micro had a patch for it that they hadn’t released yet. What the heck were they waiting for? Anyway, Sean got the patch and it’s all fixed. I picked up my friend Brittney Powell so we could head over to Jerry’s Famous Deli for dinner. My assistant Sara joined us too. After a yummy dinner I headed back home to do some auditions. Then I worked around the house for a bit, fed and walked Roxy on yet ANOTHER freezing night, then cranked up the electric blanket and hit the hay to watch some more “Twilight Zone” episodes on Blu Ray from the Season One set!

Friday the 6th – FIREARMS FRIDAY! – I couldn’t wait to get in the car and head up north to the Oak Tree Gun Club. I would be meeting my friends Bill and his son Sam, my pal Mark the Cop and his friend Sean, and my Jedi mentor in all things firearms…Obi-John Kenobi. We had lunch at the Oak Tree cafe, then headed to the rifle range to shoot some holes in paper targets with our weapons. Bill and Sam brought a Ruger .22 rifle to ventilate a zombie target, Sean brought a vintage Russian sniper rifle, and I brought my AR-15. Obi-John Kenobi told me that his new project was making violins! WOW! This guy can do everything! Then we moved over to the shooting gallery area. I got a chance to try out my new Beretta M-9. But the day was getting away from us and I wanted to beat the traffic home. Another cold night was in store for the L.A. area, so I picked up my friend Brittney again and we headed over to the Studio Cafe for dinner. Then I got home and enjoyed some more “Christmas Nappies.” But when I woke up Roxy was crying and whining. I don’t think her tummy was feeling very well. I don’t think she got into anything she shouldn’t have, but you never know with her. I took her out for our late-night stroll through the neighborhood, and she seemed to feel better after a bathroom break. After some much-needed work around the house, I made dinner and headed to bed to watch a few more “Twilight Zone” episodes.

Saturday the 7th – M.U.! – Right around noon-thirty I awoke and did some work at home. I had my assistant Sara meet me at Paty’s for lunch at 2, then I checked my mail, and headed over to Fast Frame in Toluca Lake to have them re-frame the James Bond posters that didn’t make it to France. I also picked up a new copy of my Andy Kaufman “Heartbeeps” poster that was mounted on foam board. The first copy I had made up to hang next to my original “Heartbeeps” costume in Planet Wallywood started to bubble over time. Apparently the adhesive that the printer used to mount it on the board gets bubbles after awhile. The second one I had made up was a little too “reddish” in tone. But this one was perfect. Flesh tones were spot on, matte finish, and guaranteed not to bubble. Over the Christmas break I’m going to replace the one that’s hanging there now with this one. While I was waiting around for the framing to be completed, I heard my favorite Christmas song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” by Andy Williams. It’s more than official now…the Christmas season is underway! I stopped at the store to get some chicken and rice for Roxy’s tummy troubles, then went home to take her for a stroll. I fed my cat Spook and got a quick nap on the couch before movie night started. A great group of folks came by to watch “Monsters University.” Even my friend Amanda drove in from the Inland Empire! What a cool prequel to one of my favorite animated films of all time! When my guests left I got some things done around the house, and then made a super salad to enjoy another Saturday Night Saint and Salad night just before bed. I also threw in a few “Twilight Zone” episodes just for good measure!

Sunday the 8th – IT’S BACK! – Since I didn’t make it to bed until about 9am, I slept until about 2. I got up and took Roxy out, then tried to go back to bed to get some more sleep before evening church. But my nutty animals wouldn’t let me. They both wanted attention…pets…kisses…and to cuddle with me in bed with the electric blanket on. Later in the afternoon I got ready for evening church and walked over with Roxy. After the service was over, I walked Roxy through their Christmas tree lot and took a good whiff of all the wonderful evergreen trees! The scent of pine was amazing! I had actually considered buying a small tree for Planet Wallywood, but I’ve got some spacing issues to work out first. I dropped Roxy back home and hopped in my Mustang. I drove to the McDonald’s drive-thru and got some food. Then I drove over to the Christmas House in Burbank to check it out. If you remember from last year, I had discovered this quaint house in Burbank next to one of the studios where I do a ton of voice work. It’s all decorated up with thousands of lights, and a computer program makes the lights dance to accompanying music that you can access on your car radio. In addition to offering a terrific light show, the owner also has a low-frequency FM station that plays the music from house! I thought that maybe the program might have changed from last year, but it was the same one from the year before. My disappointment quickly faded when I took great comfort in the familiarity of the presentation. It was becoming an annual Christmas tradition…as much as whiffing trees in the tree lot after church…or hearing “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year”…or screening “Love Actually” at Planet Wallywood! I watched the program cycle through a couple of times, shot some video of it, and then headed back home. But not without stopping back at McDonald’s to grab an ice cream cone first! I filled up the Mustang with gas and made it home to hop in the Jacuzzi before another session of Christmas Nappies. When I awoke later in the evening I had a text from the lady who owns the parking space that I rent for my Gran Torino. She said they were going to be doing some cleaning in the garage Monday from 9-5 and all cars had to be moved. So I threw on my warm clothes and walked to the garage. I moved my Mustang out of my garage, parked it outside, and pulled the Torino in. I hate having my Mustang parked outside overnight, but I hate having my Torino parked outside even more, given the fact that it’s such an attention-getter. I fed and walked Roxy on our late-night stroll, then got on the computer and downloaded the videos I had shot earlier. After I uploaded them to the server my webmaster Scott Sebring could access, I made a pizza and hit the hay for more “Twilight Zone” episodes. It would be good to be back at “TTS” on Monday!

And how was YOUR week??!!

PIX FROM THE WEEK

My good pal Ken the audio guy from “The Tonight Show” shot this when we taped the Thanksgiving show. For those of you who ask what it’s like to do the opening announce live for a TV show, this pretty much sums it up. What you’re hearing isn’t to a track…it’s all being done simultaneously with the band and graphics people. It’s VERY exciting!