February 13 – February 20 – Wally On The Web

RANDOM PIC OF THE WEEK

While we were visiting “Lassie-land” this past Saturday we took a ton of pictures! But by far the best one is this one. Junior aka Lassie, was sitting on Amanda’s lap. But when we looked at the photo it looked as if Lassie had legs and was wearing jeans! The optical illusion is hilarious!

Last week the WWH song was “Black Bean Soup” by David Soul. I don’t usually repeat artists from week to week, but another of David’s songs from his first album kept rattling through my skull. Back in the old days when I used to have occasional periods of the blues, I would put this song on. But since I haven’t had the blues in about 20 years this song just hadn’t been on my radar of late. But with all of the Starsky & Hutch craziness from last weekend I started listening to David’s music again, and this one popped up. Powerful words! Powerful song! It’s called “Seem To Miss So Much (Coalminer’s Song).”

Monday the 13th – SLEEPWALKING! – I had to be up early for a session at Voicecasters. I would have LOVED to sleep in, but duty called. I was still really tired from the amazing weekend! (See the previous week’s WALLY’S WEEK) The session was for a Midwestern sports organization. Their mascot is a duck, and since the duck doesn’t talk they will have an animated version of him on their website using “text-to-speech” to convey his message. I was responsible for doing that voice, which is always fun. Though text-to-speech programs have improved dramatically over the past few years, it’s always fun to do that kind of character. Taking certain words and breaking them up like a computer would do. Accentuating words in the copy that wouldn’t ordinarily be accented in normal conversation. For example, if you say the word “bobblehead” you would accent the first syllable. But for laughs, I accented the last syllable, since I figured the “text-to-speech” computer wouldn’t understand the word bobblehead. So it sounded like… “you/will/win/a/free/bobble/HEAD. It came out very funny! Then I went over to Carroll Casting to audition for a TV commercial that required a sound-alike for the guy that used to open the “Six Million Dollar Man” episodes. You know the one…”Steve Austin. Astronaut. A man barely alive.” Since I had just been watching all those on DVD it was easy. So fingers crossed. I had the Torino that day, so after the audition I went over to Bodie’s to get the satellite radio problem looked into. They also had to re-weld the tailpipe bracket, which had come undone, and tighten a few screws. The Sirius problem was going to take awhile to diagnose, so I had my assistant Sara come and pick me up for a ride home. When it came time to head to NBC to tape “The Tonight Show” I hopped in my Mustang and hit the road. After work I got a call from my pal Bob Belenchia, who handles Paul Michael Glaser for personal appearances. He was set to appear in Sacramento over the weekend and wanted to figure out a way to get my Gran Torino there. Originally my pal Bodie was going to trailer it up, but at the last minute he decided not to go. Bob said he had arranged transportation and they would be picking the car up from Bodie’s shop. I called my Torino Wrangler Alex and he agreed to meet the hauler at Bodie’s shop first thing Tuesday morning. I’m glad the car will get to go to the show after all.

Tuesday the 14th – HAPPY V.D.! – I got up for my gig for U.S. Airways at Voice Trax West. When I finished I went downstairs from the studio to a place called Al Dente and had some spaghetti for lunch. Then I headed back home and recorded some bits for “TTS” and e-mailed them in. I got ready to head into work and made my way over to NBC. After the taping I took my friend Alex Capriola to the gun range to do some target shooting. She had just broken up with a boyfriend and wanted to take out some Valentine’s Day aggression I guess. Come to find out, the gun range is a HUGE date spot! There were tons of couples there! After we finished blowing some holes into paper targets, we went to Coral Cafe and had dinner. It was a pretty fun dinner. Afterwards I headed home to do some work, and later Sara came over to watch another episode of “Hawaii Five-O” on DVD.

Wednesday the 15th – PRODUCTIVE HUMP DAY! – I got into NBC early to do a “Star Wars” bit for writer John Melendez. It was Darth Vader and Yoda singing a duet. We had lots of fun and it was very funny. I hung out until we taped the show, then headed home to meet up with Sean my computer guy. When we finished I took Sean and his girlfriend Hanna out for dinner at Little Toni’s with my friends Edi and Brittney. What fun! At the end of the evening I did some work around my house, recorded my auditions and sent them to my agent, and hit the hay so I could be up early for a busy, important Thursday.

Thursday the 16th – I’M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT A FORK! – I got up early and met with my friend Alex Capriola so we could drive to the Playboy Mansion. She’s there every weekend for movie nights so it’s familiar territory to her. I was there to interview the great Bill Cosby for the upcoming DVD release of “Fat Albert and Friends.” It was an honor to get to interview this legend, and even more fun to sit next to him and watch an episode later during the commentary. My buddy and production partner Reed Kaplan set the interview up and it was wonderful! Make sure and get the DVD set when it comes out later this year. We talked for about 45 minutes then the commentary was another 20 minutes. During the commentary we were joined by Filmation alum Michael Swanigan, who is now a professor of animation at an institution of higher education. After that Mr. Cosby had the kitchen at the mansion make him some lunch. I got a chance to talk more with him while he ate. He sure enjoys talking about comedy, life and experiences. That’s what makes him great. We both bemoaned the fact that most of the new comedians have gotten away from “observational humor” (the likes of which Cosby is a master of) and strictly play blue. After all, the “Cos” can do a whole routine about getting the perfect point on a pencil and make it hysterical. The drive back home was an absolute high. What a day! I got over to NBC early to record some comedy bits. I took Alex with me so she could attend the taping. Reed was supposed to come along too, but he had some other business to do so he wasn’t able to make it. I got Alex set up in the green room so she could be escorted to her seat, and since I hadn’t eaten all day, I went over to the famous NBC commissary to get a salad. I devoured it so quickly I hadn’t really noticed the hard piece of something in my mouth. CRUNCH! I thought, “This carrot is really hard!” But when I pulled it out of my mouth, I realized I had bitten off one of the prongs of my plastic fork! Good thing I didn’t swallow it! When the taping was over Alex and I went back to my house to spend some time with her dog Lady. What a fun doggie! A little, teeny tiny Chihuahua. My friend Edi brought her teacup Maltese over named Bunny. The two doggies had fun romping around. I’ve missed the energy of having a dog in my house since Sassie died in June. For me, life without a dog is just weird. Then we went to get dinner at Jerry’s Famous Deli. We were joined by Brittney and Sara. I was sitting there with four beautiful women thinking, even though I was just at the Playboy Mansion earlier in the day, Hef had nothing on me! Ha! I headed home, grabbed a quick nap, then got up to do a boatload of auditions. Plus I had THREE sessions the next day, so I hit the hay to get ready for a very busy Friday!

Friday the 17h – TRIO OF JOY! – I got up early to head to Outlaw Sound in Hollywood to record the voice of the Titan bobblehead for the new TV commercials. I did the radio spots the week before, and now it was time to do the TV spots. Lotsa fun. But the most fun came after the session. I went to Arby’s in Hollywood for lunch and I discovered with extreme joy that THE ARBY-Q IS BACK! Yum! I bought two and hit the road for home. Then I got a call from “TTS” to come in early to record 3 comedy bits. Plus we were taping the show early so it all worked out very well. After the show I drove to Silverlake to Elm Silverlake studios and recorded some new spots for The Underwear Affair. I’ve been working for them for several years now, so it’s always great to see them. But I was dragging ass after the big day. I picked up some grocery items and then got home to decompress. My pal Mike brought his friend Jackie over and we went to DuPar’s for a quick bite. I got home and phoned Sara to come over for another episode of “Hawaii Five-O” on DVD.

Saturday the 18th – LASSIE DAY! – I got up to let my maids in just before noon, and then headed over to my hair stylist to get a trim and a color boost. Cathy Schmidt, the lady who trained my collie Sassie all those years ago, was in town on business. She moved to Texas recently so I haven’t seen her in awhile. She offered to take me up north about an hour out of town to meet the current Lassie, and see where they raise and train the new Lassies. Cathy has been involved with the Lassie folks for awhile. My pals Edi and Amanda came along and we had a great day! First off, when we drove up to the gate, we were greeted by Bobbie the collie, Rocky the collie, and Remington a German shorthair. Remington had a stick in his mouth and seemed to really love it. When Carol the trainer came outside and started calling the dogs inside, Remington dropped his stick and listened intently. She called out, “Bobbie!” “Rocky!” Remington patiently waited to hear his name. Then it came. “Remy!” He dutifully picked up his stick in his mouth and scrambled toward the door. It was hilarious! We met two five month old collies named Major and Bertie. Then we met Lassie her…uh…HIMself! Junior now has the mantle of LASSIE 10. Lassie 9 passed away a short time ago. The owners of the Lassie franchise always like to keep a Lassie trained and on stand-by in case of appearances or new film opportunities. Junior is a big, beautiful male (all Lassies are males) who loves people. Then I met his sister Roxy. Like Junior she’s three years old and beautiful. She doesn’t have the dark markings that Junior has, and she’s more petite physically. She’s honey-colored and gorgeous. She loves people and immediately jumped up to me and gave me a hug! I also got to meet Junior and Roxy’s mother Shauna. The third dog in that litter was named Sidney and has been placed in a home up in Oregon. We laughed all the way back to my house about what a great day we had and all the terrific photos we took. I grabbed a quick nap, then I took Sara, Edi and Amanda out for dinner at Miceli’s. We met up with Chuck McCann and had a blast. There was no movie night because the majority of our gang was off doing a Dr. Who convention. So we’re picking up with movies next Saturday night. After dinner we got some groceries then headed back to my house to put them away. What a wonderful day!

Sunday the 19th – FRIENDS FRIENDS EVERYWHERE! – I woke up with a knock on my bedroom door. It was my contractor Terry who let himself in to do some work. He had a question about some of the things that needed to be done around the house. Terry had been in the hospital for a few days and he was feeling better. It was good to have him back. He fixed a chair, fixed my drains, changed a bulb in a fixture that was on the high ceiling, and planted some grass out in front of my place. My pal Christopher Ameruoso and his wife Daniela came by for awhile and checked out Planet Wallywood. When they left I went over to my friend Kathy’s place (she lives close to me) to check out her home theatre system. I offered some advice and hooked her up with my A/V guy Mark Ackerman. He did a great job in my house and I’m sure he’ll fix her up with all the gear she needs as well. When I got home I met up with Amanda, and she, Terry and I headed over to evening church. It was a great message about “spinning in old thought.” It dealt with how we can occasionally miss bigger opportunities that God presents us with, because we’re too preoccupied with our outdated thoughts and ideals. We headed over to Paty’s in Toluca Lake to have dinner, then I headed home to grab a quick nap. I got up and worked through the night on the house. Terry had done some work, but some of the posters needed to be re-hung. I also cleaned up some areas of the house that hadn’t seen the light of day for awhile. Because Monday is President’s Day, my auditions weren’t due in my agent’s office until Tuesday. But since I was all full of vim and vigor I decided to knock them out tonight. I’m glad I did. I watched another episode of “Hawaii Five-O” from the Season 9 boxed set, and hit the hay around 6am Monday morning!

Monday the 20th – HAPPY PRESIDENT’S DAY! – I slept in fairly late, and then got up to take 3 of my guns into Guns Direct for a good cleaning. My two .357 revolvers and my Walther PPK-S needed a good cleaning. I dropped them off, then headed into NBC for the taping of “TTS.” I got a call from my Torino Wrangler Alex that my car was back from Sacramento and was waiting for me to pick it up at Bodie’s. Oddly enough, the Sirius satellite receiver had been repaired and came back to Bodie’s shop that afternoon. So while I was taping “TTS,” Bodie slapped the new receiver back in the car and it was ready to rock! I left my Mustang at NBC while Sara came to give me a ride to Guns Direct to pick up my freshly cleaned guns. Then she drove me over to Bodie’s and dropped me off. I saw Alex there and heard stories about the weekend. Paul Glaser totally sold out of his books, which had to make him VERY happy. Alex left, and I talked to Bodie for a long time about all sorts of things. I drove the Torino back home, which felt awesome. That car is amazing! As I was pulling in I saw Sara and loaded a mannequin into her car. I didn’t need it anymore so I figured Goodwill could use it to display their clothes. I also didn’t need about 20 wig heads any longer, so I had her take those to Goodwill too. I also had a huge garbage bag full of styrofoam peanuts that she’s dropping off at a mail packing place to recycle. I went inside and called my friend Edi to meet me for dinner. She came and got me for dinner, then she dropped me off at NBC so I could drive my Mustang home. It was very cold evening so I popped the heater on as soon as I got in the house. I love this time of year! I did a few more auditions, did some more things around the house and settled in for the night. Sara came over for “Hawaii Five-O” later on.

And how was YOUR week??!!

PICS FROM THE WEEK

One of the greatest comics who ever lived…the legend…the COS!