April 18 – April 24 (2011) – Wally On The Web

I don’t know if it’s because of the Easter season or what, but “Crying in the Chapel“ by Elvis has been on my mind.

Monday the 18th – VACATION!!! OR IS IT? – Even though it was the first day of hiatus from “The Tonight Show,” (I also took a vacation week from my IVR work) I still had a ton of stuff to do. Things that I couldn’t ordinarily handle during the course of a regular week. I did manage to sleep in a bit (which was nice) but when I got up I took care of some e-mails and phone calls. Then I headed over the hill to Regenix at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. It was time for my routine follow-up visit to see how the program was working on my hair. We talked about the recent comparison photo I sent out and they said it was great, but I was only just now getting into the meat of the program. They said that there’s more and better results to come! On my way out I got talking to an elderly gentleman and his wife. I noticed that he was wearing a U.S. Army cap. Each time I see somebody wearing a military hat or jacket I always engage them in conversation about their time in the service, and I thank them for that service. He said he was in the Army in 1942-1945. He enlisted for WW2. He said he was in the European and Middle Eastern theaters of war. I thanked him for his service in the war and he said he’ll be 92 in a few months. He did NOT seem like he was going to be 92. Nor did his 82 year old wife! Thanks again for your service to our country Bernard! When I left Regenix I went back over the hill and hit Verizon. I needed to get a new phone bad, and that was high on my TO-DO list this week. In the old days it would take forever to get a new phone picked out, get it set up, then it wouldn’t be activated for several hours afterwards. But in the modern world (I’ve had a cell phone since the early 90’s) it takes only minutes. I was in and out of Verizon in under a half hour with a brand new working phone that I loved! This was a little beefier than the last one I had. It felt better in my hand and the colored screen made the text messages easier to read. Though I knew I would be dining with friends later I was starving. So mid-afternoon I got a bite at DuPar’s and read the manual for my new phone. My allergies were acting up quite badly so I went home to grab a nap. Then when I got up I met my friends Edi and Sara at Jerry’s Famous Deli. I had the usual soup and salad, but Edi’s stir-fry had some uncooked rice in it and the salad had mushy tomatoes. Jerry’s was definitely off their game this night! In fact, Edi actually ended up feeling quite sickly afterwards so she went home. I went home to record my auditions in my home studio and e-mail them to my agents. I was supposed to be getting a ride to the Ford dealer so I could leave my Mustang for service, but since Edi was sick that wouldn’t be possible tonight.

Tuesday the 19th – TUESDAY TO-DO’S! – My sinuses were still stuffy. It’s been the worst allergy season for me since I left South Dakota 24 years ago. The weather has been such that it’s been warm, then it will get cold and rain, then get warm, etc. No wonder my allergies were going nuts. Many other people I have spoken with also are having a bad allergy season. The only job I had scheduled for this week was a quickie at Skylark Studios for a new X-Men game. I picked up a few lines from a session I did for them mid-last year. It was good to see Director Margaret Tang again, and working with the folks at Skylark is always a kick! Since I was in the area, I went to a local Radio Shack after the session was over. I had been wanting to buy a personal recorder for quite some time now. I am starting to think about putting down some of my thoughts, stories and experiences so that descendants can hear them long after I’m gone. I only wish the technology would have existed when my grandparents were alive so I could hear some of their stories. Luckily, I still have one grandma who will be 99 this July, so I may try to get some stories of hers recorded as well. I found just the recorder I needed, and also bought a small lavalier microphone with a tie-clasp type of clip. I grabbed lunch at Taco Bell then headed home to meet up with a roofing guy. During the heavy rains recently there was a tiny little leak in my sloped roof, so the association sent out roofing people to take a look at it. When he left, I took off to see my chiropractor Dr. C in Burbank. We talked about our allergies, and he commiserated with me as his were bad also. When I finished there I went to Pickwick Bowl, a bowling facility in Burbank. I had been toying with the idea of throwing a cosmic bowling party for my upcoming 50th birthday party. I met up with the manager and we discussed pricing and details. I left thinking that this would be a pretty cool birthday. In the past when I threw movie parties they were fun, but it didn’t give me much of a chance to visit with my guests, since we were watching movies. But this seemed like the perfect option. 3 hours of bowling fun, with food and beverages. And it would be a Hawaii Five-O theme…(Five-O…fifty…get it?) Everyone would wear Hawaiian clothes and we’d have a blast bowling, eating and chatting. My pal Terry had helped me get my 1974 Gran Torino started last Sunday by reconnecting a loose wire coming from the alternator to the battery. It was such a simple fix, it couldn’t possibly have been the problem with it not starting. But it seemed to fix it. Today was the real test. The Torino had been sitting for a few days now, and the real test was ahead. Would it start? I got to my parking space and took the cover off. I opened the driver’s side door and the dome light came on. I had power! Sure enough it turned right over! GREAT! So I took it down to a local car electrician to get all the wires looked at and diagnosed. But it was too late in the day, he said he wouldn’t be able to take it. Since I was leaving for vacation late Wednesday night, I told him I’d see him next week some time. So I drove around in the Torino for awhile (it was a BEAUTIFUL day!) and eventually wound up back home. I drove my bike over to my neighborhood Floyd’s Barbershop to get a cut and color. I also met up with Sara to have some frozen yogurt at the store next to Floyd’s. When I finished up with Andie at Floyd’s, I biked home and got a nap. The allergies were still getting me down, and now I was having to use my nose spray more frequently. When I got up later, Sara followed me to the Ford dealer so I could have my regular maintenance performed on my Mustang. I left it parked there overnight for “early bird” service. Then she and I went to Denny’s to grab a bite to go, she took me home and I started working on putting my bank deposits together to submit before I left on vacation. I also did a minimal amount of packing for my upcoming trip to Palm Springs!! I was looking forward to getting out of town and was hoping that the dry weather would help my allergies.

Wednesday the 20th – HEADIN’ TO P.S.! – My pal Sergio came by to finish the hair work on my new Phantom of the Opera mannequin. It was a considerable job and it took him two separate days to do. My electrician Electric Bob came by to show me a track lighting system he found, but it wasn’t going to work out for what I had in mind. So…back to square 1. Sara came over to look through my outfits because she was going to a Metal Awards Show that night. While Sergio continued toiling away I cranked up the Torino (remember, the Mustang was in the shop getting lubed) and headed to the bank to make some deposits. It’s fun driving that car around because so many people throw me a thumbs up and smile. When I got home Sassie’s groomer arrived and started washing her. Sergio finished up with the Phantom’s hair, the groomers finished up with Sassie, and I got a call from Ford saying that my car was ready. My pal Edi (who was feeling better) came by to pick me up and took me to Ford to get my car. They had washed it and had it all ready to hit the road! I took Edi to dinner at Li’l Toni’s to thank her for the ride, then I headed home to pack. I was trying to get on the road about 8, but I didn’t get out of the house until 9:30. Packing took longer than I had thought. But once I hit the road it was an amazing trip. While I drove there under the night sky, I turned on my new voice recorder and started recording thoughts and stories to anyone who would someday want to listen. I talked for a full hour, over half the time it took me to drive to Palm Springs! As I pulled off the 10 freeway on to the 111 freeway, a beautiful HUGE orange moon was looming over the desert mountains. It was chillingly beautiful! My mini-vacation was starting out wonderfully. Though I was snorting more and more of the nasal spray, which had me worried. On the 111 the wind kicked up and was knocking my little Mustang around pretty good. I had to slow down and keep both hands on the wheel. But I got into Palm Springs and pulled into the hotel around 11pm. My friend Amanda had beat me to the hotel since she lives so close to Palm Springs. I unloaded my luggage and we went over to Denny’s to grab dinner. I got back to the hotel and started relaxing on the patio. My room was on the highest floor and it was overlooking the mountains and had a clear view of the beautiful desert night sky. But just as I was settling in for the night I got a panicked call from my assistant and housesitter Sara saying she had gotten locked out of the house. She had the keys, but there was a little metal interior lock that had gotten jostled a bit and was preventing the door from being opened. It was very late and Sassie hadn’t been fed or walked. I was getting worried that she wouldn’t be able to get in. She called a locksmith, but what could they do? There was no locks to be picked. The decision was made that she would have to pry open the garage door and enter through the back way. I was literally considering getting up and DRIVING BACK TO L.A. to let her in. But just before I did that the locksmith showed up and she got in. Whew! What a way to start a vacation!

Thursday the 21st – RESTLESS! – My allergies were worse now. I was having to spray nose spray in my nostrils every two hours to keep the swelling down. I even had to wake up every couple hours because my nose was so stuffed I couldn’t breathe. Of the seven nose sprays I had there, Afrin, Allergy Buster, Sinex, etc. – only one would still work. That was 4 Way. A miracle in my life! I would spray that in my nose and in 30 seconds I could breathe again! But this could NOT continue. I tried to sleep as late as I could, given my problem. When I got up Amanda and I went to Wal-Mart and picked up some supplies for the weekend. I also gassed up the car while I was at it. $4.23 a gallon! How is it where you are? When I got back to the hotel I noticed that the streets in front of the hotel were being blocked off for a street fair. Apparently they do this every Thursday night. Looked like fun to me! My friend Georgette was on her way to Palm Springs to join us, but was having tire problems. She hit one of those famous L.A. potholes and bent her rim. So she was traveling all the way to Palm Springs on her spare. I was a little worried, but she’d be OK. Amanda and I spent some time sitting around the pool eating popcorn and taking a dip in the jacuzzi. When we got cleaned up it was time for the street fair. Georgette had just arrived, so we all went out to have a look around. It was magical. Wonderful dogs, great people, great food and treats! We settled into a patio table at a Mexican restaurant and watched the people go by. Then we met HARPO! Harpo is a famous Palm Springs clown who comes down for the Thursday night street fair. He came over and though he doesn’t talk, was quite demonstrative in his questions and answers. He pointed to my cap I was wearing (which was a Playboy TV cap) and then to the girls. I played along and told him that Georgette and Amanda were Playboy girls. I asked him if he liked girls. He did the funniest lip quiver comparable to what Curly from the Three Stooges would have done. Harpo has these pants that are filled with all sorts of props, and items to be used in his comedy. He pulled out a picture of himself posing with Hugh Hefner, Holly Madison and my pal Bridget Marquardt from a 2007 function. This guy had everything! I said, “Harpo, you have everything in those pants of yours!” He gave me a wink and a big smile. Harpo clearly liked my companions. He kept coming around the table with balloon animals, and little red clown noses, and other props and gifts. Amanda took a liking to him because she loves clowns. As Harpo stood there at our table, a drunk guy a few tables over fell backwards in his chair and hit the ground flat on his back. Harpo ran over to him quickly. I figured he was going to help the poor drunk up. But he did the funniest thing. Instead of helping him up, Harpo stood over the drunk on the ground and spread his arms out as if to say “SAFE!” We all thought this was extremely funny and Harpo was OK by us! He sent us on our way with more gifts, postcards and the like. We walked down to the local Rite-Aid and got some ice cream cones. It was fun walking down Palm Canyon Drive and it was a perfect night for it! When we got back to the hotel we made popcorn in our room and went down by the pool to lay on the big, round orange beds they have set up for people who like to tan. We laid there on our backs looking up at the sky for about an hour. We saw an owl glide overhead, two bats flapping away, several shooting stars, some distant airplanes with their lights ablaze, and we chatted. But it was getting late so we all turned in. My sinus issues were not improving at all and they were ruining my trip!

Friday the 22nd – CALLING DAVID LYNCH! – I tried to sleep as late as I could given my sinus problem. When I finally woke up the girls were gone. They were out getting their nails done at a local salon. So I hit the sidewalk to locate them so we could go to lunch. We went to a pizza place that was the same place I went to with friends after meeting up with Adam West at an autograph show a few years back. I knew the pizza was good so we had fun lounging around eating lunch. But the pizza place wouldn’t accept credit cards, only cash. The three of us were joking that it must be a mafia money laundering cover. We hit the frozen yogurt place next door and they had my favorite flavor…PINEAPPLE! I got a large with strawberries and coconut on top and we were on our way. Our next plan was to go to Desert Hot Springs and hit the mineral baths. Out there they have natural hot springs running under the town, mineral-rich water heated by underground magma. They pump it up, cool it a bit, and fill several pools with it. I had heard a lot about it and wanted to give it a try. But a lot of the spas weren’t offering day passes. You had to have a hotel room booked there. The only place we could find that offered day passes was the sister hotel of one of the top spas there. So we drove over to give it a try. What we found was a place right out of a David Lynch movie! When Georgette told me the admission was only $6 per person, my immediate thought was, “What’s the catch?” Well, we saw what the catch was. The hotel was no more than an average Motel 6. And the pools were packed with all sorts of “interesting” people. We rented some towels, a lock for the locker, and paid our admission. A two man band was setting up for their big Friday night poolside party. The place was fairly run down and the clientele was the type that couldn’t likely afford the inflated spa rates at other places. But it sure provided for some interesting stories and people watching. A thin woman with a full wetsuit danced in the pool with two hand weights. She had a large brimmed sun hat on, and had a top on over her wetsuit. We couldn’t figure out exactly why she had the top on over the wetsuit. The rest of the clientele were old, weird, strange, kids, etc. but fun to watch. Then the band started up. After their “soundcheck,” the keyboard player played the same 4 chord progression over and over while the woman spoke incoherent words into a bad microphone. This “song” went on for about 20 minutes. I was starting to think that it was a way for the management to get rid of people, but the “party” was just starting and it would go until 10pm! I went into the men’s locker room to change, and it was really creepy. Part of it was a big empty room that looked like they were partly demolishing it, and the other side was just…well…creepy. I put my swim trunks on and headed out. We locked up our stuff and hit one of the 6 pools they had there. There were a few old ladies there and three younger guys. One of the young guys and one of the old ladies started arguing about religion. Oh boy…here we go. Amanda, Georgette and I kept throwing looks back and forth to each other. Eventually that pool cleared out and we had some time to ourselves. Then we decided to go to one of the other pools that was hotter. The water that was being pumped to the pools varied in temperature. Underground coolers fed different temperatures of water to each pool so you could find the one to your liking. The big pool had too many kids in it, so we didn’t go anywhere near that one. One smaller pool had a couple making out, so we stayed clear of that. By now a drummer had showed up and started playing with the band. But they still weren’t playing any music I recognized. The wetsuit lady got out of the pool and started dancing to the music. It was all very weird. I got video of the whole thing just to prove to my friends that I wasn’t exaggerating, but I can’t post it here for obvious reasons. Georgette said that the spa she went to a year ago was next door and we went to take a look before we left. It was just across the parking lot so we walked over. I had already changed out of my swim suit, but the girls still had theirs on. We just walked into the pool area and nobody stopped us. This was MUCH nicer! This was the parent company of the “Motel 6” hotel next door, but this was clearly the more exclusive one. There were about 6 pools and each only had a few people in them. I dangled my legs in one while talking to Amanda. Georgette had gone for a dip in one of the other pools. Next time, we’re just going to avoid the other one, and crash this one again. But since there’s nowhere to change we’ll have to come dressed with our own towels. The sun started to set and the wind was kicking up pretty good. So we headed back to the hotel to clean up for dinner. My friend Jacklynn Chaney, great great granddaughter of Lon Chaney Sr. lives in the area, as does her dad and mom and sister. Ron Chaney, her dad, is a good pal but he’s been so busy he wasn’t able to meet up. Jacklynn met us for dinner at LG’s steakhouse and we had a terrific meal! Again we sat on the patio people watching. It was a great time and a perfect end to a wonderful (and interesting) day! Amanda packed up her stuff so she could head back home that night, Georgette packed up so she could leave early the next morning, and I packed as much stuff as I could to make a hasty exit the next day. I shot myself full of nasal spray and sat on the patio overlooking the desert mountains. I lit a candle, played some mellow music on my i-Pod (each room at our hotel comes with an i-Pod dock!) and just became entranced with the sounds and visuals. I could hear our friendly screech owl, and even spotted him soaring overhead again. I looked at the stars, drank a Coke, ate some popcorn, listened to a nightbird sing his song, and got into a fairly meditative state. A shooting star or two shot overhead again. It was wonderful, and it’s my favorite thing to do during my Palm Springs stays. This was the third time I had been there (last April, last October, and now) but it won’t be my last. I may even like to come back in May during our next “TTS” hiatus. And they take very good care of me at the Hyatt Regency Suites. It was a great night, and I slept fairly well.

Saturday the 23rd – BACK HOME! – I woke up just before check-out time, packed up my final items and headed out. I went to the local Rite Aid to get some more nasal spray and some supplies for the road. Then some quick Burger King drive-thru and I was on my way. The drive was great and I never went below 70 all the way home. I made great time and got home around 2:30. I grabbed a nap, and got up in time for movie night. We watched “Sling Blade” on Blu Ray and the rockumentary “The Story of Anvil.” A great evening of entertainment! But I had to hit the hay early for Easter morning commitments at church!

Sunday the 24th- HAPPY EASTER! – I got up just after 8am and got showered. I went over to my church at 8:45 for the annual “Easter Walk” presentation. It’s for the kids to experience the story of Easter through a walking tour of several of the locations in the Easter story. My part is the Last Supper, where Jesus welcomes the kids into the upper room and they have communion. Since I think I’m the only guy with long hair and a beard in our church, I got recruited to play Jesus. My first year was last year, and I had such a great time I was happy to do it again this year. One of the other performers, who is a clown named Tuba by trade, happened to know our friend Harpo in Palm Springs! He even called Harpo’s phone and left a message telling him how great we thought he was! After the Easter Walk I went home to nap until evening church. The evening service was wonderful (it was the fifth of the six services they did that day!) and afterwards we went out to have food at Ernie’s Taco House. I was joined by Sara, Edi and her kids Emily and Josh, and Chris and Colleen from church. We had a blast! But my sinuses were still getting me down, and I made a point to go see my Ear, Nose and Throat doctor first thing Monday to try and get some relief! I got home and laid down for awhile, and then around midnight my pal Alex Zsolt came to town. He’d be staying at my house for a few days while he was in town for a seminar. I recorded some auditions, wrote Wally’s Week, and braced myself for the coming week. It’s back to work, folks!

And how was YOUR week?!!!

Pics from the Week

An adorable little puppy we spied at the street fair. He had just gotten adopted that night by one of the booth owners!