March 14 – March 20 (2016) – Wally On The Web

RANDOM PIC OF THE WEEK

Every Easter for the past several years (I think I missed one year) my church has asked me to portray Jesus for the kids’ “Easter Walk” pageant. I think I’m the only guy at church who has a beard and long hair, so their options are fairly limited. But it’s a lot of fun and I enjoy doing it. Here’s a shot from last year’s “Easter Walk.”

Since it was recently St. Patrick’s Day, I happened to hear a tradition version of the old Irish classic “Whiskey in the Jar.” It brought to mind the Metallica version that I love oh so much! And I’ve been singing it all week!

Monday the 14th – WORKING FOR A DIFFERENT JAY! – The roar of tree trimmers outside my bedroom window rousted me from my slumber at high noon. I checked my e-mails and got prepared for a new day and a new week. I headed to an ADR session (additional dialogue recording) in mid-L.A., but first I took a stop by International Silks and Woolens on Beverly to see if they had any “Star Trek” pants fabric in. When my pal Dorothy Fontana (who wrote on the original “Star Trek” in the 60’s) saw my Leonard Nimoy Spock figure she thought it was amazing, but she did say the pants were too shiny. So I’m going to find some better fabric that still has a sheen, but isn’t shiny. I want to make sure it’s as accurate as possible. I hit Taco Bell for lunch, and then headed over to Wildfire Post to do some work on a new Jay Roach film. I voiced several 1960’s era news reporters. I reminded Jay that we had met back in 1998 at an Austin Powers midnight screening in Santa Monica at the Nuart Theater. When I first saw “Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery” on its debut day back in 1997, I knew it was genius and was going to be legendary. So I had an Austin costume created and started doing appearances. It took about a year for the film to achieve cult status (I think they call that a “sleeper”) and by 1998 “AP:IMOM” was playing midnight shows all over the place. Director Jay Roach was on hand to observe the festivities, and they had a costume contest. The prize was a laserdisc player and Austin Powers laserdisc. Since I had been performing as Austin for about a year, I had the voice, the mannerisms, the moves and the attitude down. I got up on stage for the costume contest and did my thing. There were many other great costumes, and the prize was awarded based on audience response. The guy who won the prize was a kid wearing a t-shirt and jeans. But his “costume” was pretty clever. He had a hastily made cardboard fin on his back, and he was wearing a pair of sunglasses with a laser pointer duct-taped to them. He was a “shark-with-a-friggin-laser-beam-attached-to-his-head.” The crowd went nuts. He had a lot of his friends in the audience, so the crowd reaction between he and I was pretty even. But his response was a little better so he won the laserdisc player; which was fine because I had bought a player over a year ago to watch the “Austin Powers” commentary, and I really didn’t need another one. But when they gave him the prize the audience started rebelling, shouting, hooting and booing. They wanted me to win because I had clearly done a lot of work on my costume. (Little did they know I had it made, not for this screening, but had been using it to make money for the past 12 months!) The guy from New Line Cinema who was there directing the contest was panicking. He didn’t want a riot on his hands. So he thought fast. He took the microphone and said, “We’re going to award a second prize to Austin, which are two autographed “Austin Powers” movie posters signed by Mike Myers!” The crowd cheered, as did I. The signed posters were MUCH more suitable to my personal interests than a laserdisc player. He told me that he was “punting” so the audience didn’t revolt, and that I’d have to come by the New Line offices to pick the posters up. Double bonus! Not only did I get a couple of cool posters, I got to visit the offices of New Line, have lunch with this guy, and establish a contact for possible Austin appearances. It all worked out. After the screening was over and we were leaving, people were meeting Jay Roach and taking photos. He came up to me and said, “Dude! You were robbed! Robbed!” I told him that the New Line people were taking care of me and he signed my Austin book. I reminded him of this story and he laughed heartily. It was amazing working with Jay and he’s a terrific guy! On my drive home I talked to the folks to catch up on the news back home. While I was at the session my assistant Sara took my cat Spooky to the vet for his check-up. All is good, but he needs his teeth cleaned. And in order to do that they have to put him under. I’m VERY nervous about that, even though I’m sure it’ll be alright. I grabbed a short nap on the couch, and then Sara came over so we could go to dinner at Little Toni’s. I got home and worked around the house, did my auditions for the day, wrote Wally’s Week, did some work on the computer, and settled in to watch the final episode of “Lost In Space” Season 1 on Blu Ray before bed. The entire first season was in black and white, but when they popped into color for the teaser for the next episode, it was like stepping in to OZ! I can’t wait to see the second season in color!

Tuesday the 15th – GET PACKED FOR THE MAC! – A few weeks ago my pal Scott in Sioux Falls told me that Paul McCartney would be playing in Sioux Falls on May 2nd. Since it’s only four days before my birthday, and I’m due for a trip back to visit friends and family anyway, I thought it might be a good idea to check out the show while I was there. It just all converged into a really good idea for a trip to South Dakota. But I wanted to make sure I had a really good ticket. I didn’t want to go all the way back there to sit in the nosebleed section. So I got on the phone with an area ticket broker to see what was available. She said that they didn’t stock any McCartney tickets because they were so expensive. But she was kind enough to help me get on line with Ticketmaster and see what was available. The ticket that was in my price range was about 8 rows back and off to the side. I wasn’t that impressed and kept looking for something better. The first several rows are reserved for special “package” ticket holders, and were VERY expensive! But she explained that you got a special laminate, a lithograph, “hospitality” (which means food and beverage I think) and the best part of all…you got to attend the sound check! WHAT?! That would be amazing. A 3 hours concert in addition to the sound check! I looked at the “package” seats and found one third row back from the stage in the dead center! Since it’s my birthday, since it’s McCartney, since it’s in Sioux Falls, and since you get to attend the sound check, I ate the enormous cost and purchased a “package” ticket. WOO HOO! I’ll be surrounded by the elite of Sioux Falls who will be no doubt wondering who the long-haired maniac is in their midst. I went on-line and booked my flight, my hotel, and my rental car for the trip. Awesome! I made a call to Prints Charm’n to get some postcards printed to promote the first episode of “Wacky Wally’s Vintage Toys” on YouTube (have YOU seen it yet?), and when I stepped outside to walk Roxy I noticed a UPS envelope under my doormat. I opened it up and it was a check for something I had done 2 years ago and forgotten about. Apparently they did a new version of it, kept my voice tracks, and paid me a new fee for it. The amount of the check was a direct answer to a prayer, in fact! At our church the digital projector that displays the lyrics to the songs we sing has been dying a very slow death over the past few months. It’s all yellow-ish and tough to look at. I priced out the type of projector we needed to replace it, and “put it out there” that if some spare money showed up that was roughly that amount, I would take it as a sign that I was to buy a new projector for the service as a donation. The check was made out for the EXACT AMOUNT I had been thinking of. Amazing! I drove over to my mailbox to get my mail, and then headed to Jerry’s Famous Deli to have lunch with my pal Bruce Kulick and his wife Lisa. I hadn’t seen them since the Grand Funk Railroad concert back in January. Bruce has been busy flying all over the world, so it was good to catch up. I got home and grabbed a nap, then got up to do my auditions, fed and walked Roxy, and then hit the hay.

Wednesday the 16th – CRYSTAL CONUNDRUM! – I did some work around the house when I got up at noon, and then hopped on my bike and rode to Voice Trax West to do a promo for PBS Kids. It was a gorgeous day, and a spectacular ride. When I finished the promo session, I did the vocal tracks for a song I’ve been wanting to record for a long time. It’s a new version of “Ruby (Don’t Take Your Love To Town)” which was made famous in 1969 by Kenny Rogers and the First Edition. It was one of foremost Viet Nam War protest songs of its day. A few years ago I had been thinking a lot about that song and how poignant it still is today; given our recent history with wars. I updated the lyrics to be relatable to a modern audience, but I never got around to recording it. I sang two passes of it, listened to the playback with Evan the engineer, and made my selects. He’s going to mix it and get it to me so I can post it on YouTube. My pal Mark the Cop is going to add visuals and lyrics to the video as well. It should be really neat! I walked next door to make a deposit in the bank, and then biked home. There was still plenty of nice day left, so I rode home and hopped in my Mustang to take my dog Roxy to lunch at Paty’s. Sara met us there too, and we dined on the patio. There were a lot of really cute dogs there too, and Roxy enjoyed meeting them. I got a call from Spook’s vet who said that the urinary tests came back and showed that Spook has a lot of crystals in his urine. Which is weird, considering that Spook has been on an anti-crystal prescription food for several years. But the vet said that if he’s getting any snacks that aren’t of the same formula, and since it appears that he’s particularly sensitive to crystals, it would negate the effect of the food. Spook loves his snacks! But no more, sadly. All he can eat from here on out is his prescription food and nothing else. They’re going to test him again in a few weeks to see how the new “no snack” diet is coming along. I hate not being able to give him snacks, but I don’t want him to be uncomfortable either. My agent called me to let me know of another on-camera commercial audition on Thursday for a British lending service. They wanted a California/Hippie/Guru type, so I spent the evening pulling out costume pieces, beaded necklaces and bracelets, and sandals. I even when into the garage and found some material to make an earthy-looking headband. One thing I learned from the whole Dell TV commercial experience is to go in looking the part as much as possible! I grabbed a nap and then got up to do some more work around the house, and study the script for tomorrow’s audition. Since I just finished “Lost In Space” season 1, and it was coming up on Easter Week, I decided to start watching the mini-series “Jesus of Nazareth” from 1977 on Blu Ray, which was just released a few weeks ago.

Thursday the 17th – MAN, THAT WAS WEIRD! – The alarm rang at 10am and I sprang from bed to get ready for my on-camera audition. I loaded my costume in the back and drove over the hill to the casting office. But when I signed in on the sign-in sheet, I noticed a bunch of dates listed. There were about 6 shoot dates listed. I figured this was a general ballpark estimate, and they would pick one or two good dates from that batch. Then it listed a date as a “travel day.” Travel day? Where is this being filmed, anyway? There was only one other actor there so I asked him. “What does travel day mean? Where are they shooting this?” He said, “Capetown, South Africa.” WHAT? I had no idea! And for all 6 days! I can’t leave the country for that amount of time! I have too many Voice-Over commitments and campaigns to service. I called my agent and discussed it with her and she said she was sorry for not making that clear to me, and if I couldn’t do it I should cross my name off the list and take off. Which I did. But what a wasted morning. But live and learn. I now know to ask where the location is before accepting the audition. I’m still fairly new at this on-camera audition process, and I’m picking up important things along the way. I drove back home and enjoyed the gorgeous day. I hopped on my bicycle and rode about five miles to my videogame session in Burbank. It was a great ride, but a fairly frustrating session. It happens sometimes. Upon arrival, I was told that I wasn’t going to be doing the character I had originally been cast for, but I would be doing a different character. It’s always strange to get news like that, considering I had reviewed and prepared the character I had originally been cast for. But I like to be flexible so I went with the flow. Once in the studio we were building the character together, but I started to get a lot of conflicting direction about the character. I was starting to get confused and frustrated. Add to this that there not one but two directors directing me, which is always confusing. And on top of that, they would sometimes give conflicting direction. After a while I started to get fairly frustrated with myself that I wasn’t giving them what they were looking for. On some lines I was having to do 15-20 takes, which is really rare. Normally you’ll get it in 1 or 2 takes, sometimes 4 or 5 but usually not more than that. Plus the directors just weren’t very good at articulating what it was they were looking for in the read. I hate being frustrated with myself during times like these. Why was I not getting what they were saying? Anyhow, it ended around 5:20 and I hopped on my bike and headed home. I did some work and then went to Floyd’s Barbershop to get a touch up on my color. Then I went home to nap after a very strange day. I did my daily auditions, and then watched more “Jesus of Nazareth.”

Friday the 18th – MIDNIGHT MUPPETING! – A severe ache in my back woke me up after only 3 hours of sleep. No matter how I laid, it hurt. So I got out of bed and did some work around the house. I put Roxy in the car and headed out to do some errands. We stopped by Studiopolis to pick up a check, and then we went to Mr. Stitch in Sherman Oaks to get my name embroidered on my starfield bowing shirt. I stopped through the McDonald’s drive-thru to get some lunch to go, and then we went to the local car wash to get the Mustang washed and shined up. I sped back home and met with my pal Pat. He’s doing a shoot for his documentary and he needed to use a pair of my Batman gloves. Then I drove over to my box to get some mail, and I dropped a comforter off at the dry cleaners. I got back home to meet up with my pal Brittney Powell to do some work on future episodes of “Wacky Wally’s Vintage Toys (no seriously, HAVE you seen it yet??!!) and then I grabbed a nap. Sara came over later in the evening so we could do some grocery shopping, and then we set up a little puppet theater in my studio area so I could do a quick little shoot with my new Kermit the Frog puppet. I had this commissioned by a puppeteer and puppet-maker, and rumor has it that the same fabrics and patterns used on the real Kermit, were used for mine. I LOVE this thing! I had been doing puppeteering for a long time, and I had always wanted a deluxe Kermit. A week ago I had recorded a vocal for the Kermit classic “Bein’ Green,” and my pal Scott Sebring did a final mix for the video. I brought up the song on my computer and while Sara filmed, I performed Kermit doing the song. In the past when I had puppeteered I had a small monitor to watch while I worked, so I could see what the camera was seeing. This is the ideal way to do this sort of thing. But I didn’t have a monitor to watch, so I was kind of working blind. But the only reason for doing a video like this was to show off how cool the puppet is, so I think it served its purpose You can see the finished video here… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-CiBmuMf1s
When Sara left I set about cleaning up the house for an on-camera interview I’d be doing on Saturday afternoon to promote “Wacky Wally’s Vintage Toys.” As I was fiddling around in my bedroom with some new lighting ideas, I noticed that the top of my wooden headboard was really dusty. Upon closer inspection, I discovered that it wasn’t dust at all, but termite “residue!” OH NO! Termites were eating the beautiful headboard that my late friend Terry made for me back in 1999! I cleaned it off as best as I could, but I swore to hit it with a good coating of anti-termite orange oil the next day. Damn termites!

Saturday the 19th – SIMPLY “MEL”VELOUS! – L.A. Sal has a YouTube show about action figures; and after seeing “Wacky Wally’s Vintage Toys” on-line he contacted me about doing an interview for his show. I figured it was a good way to cross-promote my show on his show. We met at 1 and had a great interview. We talked for about a half hour…and we never left my living room! The intention was to go the second level and see the main toy showcase, but his iPhone ran out of storage space about 30 minutes into the interview. So we had to end it there. We may do a part 2 someday if the response for part 1 is good enough. After he took off I went upstairs to prepare for the rest of the day. I started by grabbing my vacuum cleaner and some anti-termite orange oil to clean off the top of my headboard. I had a 12” X 12” square piece of mirrored plastic to help me out. Since the headboard is literally 5 inches lower than my bedroom ceiling, I had very little space to work in. The top of the headboard was too tall for me to get a bird’s eye view of, so in order to look at the top to make sure I was getting all of the residue cleaned up, I had to set a mirror toward the back of the headboard and lean it forward, so it would reflect the top of the headboard. That way I could see what I was doing by working in the mirror. It all worked well, until the mirror slipped down BEHIND the headboard! This headboard is about 8 feet tall, and about 5 feet wide. It was attached to the bedroom wall and there was no WAY I was going to be able to retrieve the mirror. Or could I? I found a paint stirrer and put some double-stick tape on it. I ran it behind the headboard blindly. BINGO! It stuck to something! I pulled it back out and the mirror was stuck to the paint stirrer! Great! I finished up the job and then coated the entire top of the headboard with my anti-termite orange oil. I even sprayed some down behind the headboard. I’ll give it another dose in a day or so. While I was at it I did some major cleaning behind one of the display cases in my room. The project I had begun over the Christmas holiday week to completely clean my bedroom had extended even past St. Patrick’s Day! But I got it done and it felt good! I got ready for the evening’s activities and waited for Sara to arrive. Several months ago we had gotten tickets to see Mel Brooks live at a screening of “Blazing Saddles” in Thousand Oaks. My friend Mark the Cop had told me about it back then, and before the evening was over I had bought tickets! I wasn’t going to miss this event, especially considering that I hail Mel Brooks as “The Funniest Man Who Ever Lived.” Pound for pound, when one considers the amount of comedy he’s written, produced, directed, starred in, etc. – he’s produced more laughs per second than any other human being living or dead! We hit the freeway at 5:30, and made it there by 6:15. The show started at 7:30, so we didn’t really have time for a leisurely dinner. Mark and his girlfriend Connie met us there and we canvassed the local restaurants to see which could offer us a speedy meal before the event started. The winner was a place called Umami Burger. Very popular in L.A., Umami offers a “healthy” spate of hamburgers with a variety of gourmet sauces. Personally, I think Umami must be Japanese for “a thousand ways to screw up a hamburger.” But we were hungry and we didn’t have many options. While we were waiting for our table, I saw a little girl walking around with a Knuckles plush doll. Knuckles is a character in the “Sonic Boom” animated series I’m lucky enough to be a part of. So to kill some time I started talking to her and her aunt about the show. I did the voice of Cubot for her and we had fun chatting about “Sonic Boom” and other cartoons. It was great fun! Mark, Connie, Sara and I got seated and we wolfed down our food. We made it to the event just in the nick of time. This was an amazing event; an evening I’ll never forget. My late friend Terry Crisp (the contractor who had built the headboard that was currently on the menu for some soon-to-be-dead termites in my house) considered “Blazing Saddles” his favorite movie of all time. Since Terry passed away last August, I couldn’t help but think about how Terry would have loved an event like this. Seeing “Blazing Saddles” with a crowd who loved it as much as I did, and who knew every line and every joke, was utterly amazing. Not only did I flash back to exchanging movie quotes with Terry as he worked away on some project in my house, but I flashed back to 1974 when I was a 13 year old kid seeing this movie for the first time with my pal Danny Wilson at the Capitol Theater in downtown Aberdeen, South Dakota. I was a long way from there now! And Mel Brooks himself was going to come out after the movie and talk to the crowd! The audience cheered whenever a main character was introduced, anticipated every joke, and laughed at every little thing. It was amazing! Then the movie ended and Mel came on stage. My legs were getting tired from giving him so many standing ovations. But does “The Funniest Man Who Ever Lived” deserve any less? He was sharp, vital, funny, and hyperactive. But when the moderator introduced Mel’s pal Carl Reiner in the audience, I got very emotional. The thunderous applause from the standing audience overwhelmed me. Particularly when I saw these two comedy legends shake hands. It was a convergence of thoughts coalescing together in my mind; and I literally started crying. To think of all the laughs these two giants have been responsible for; all of the pleasure they’ve given the world. To think that Carl Reiner gave us “Oh God!,” “The Jerk,” “The Dick Van Dyke Show” and Andy Kaufman. To think that when Mel’s wife Anne Bancroft passed away from cancer and Mel went into seclusion, it was Carl who got him active again. And then they did a small bit from “The 2000 Year Old Man,” one of my favorites. Considering that Carl Reiner was one day away from turning 94, what I was witnessing was nothing less than miraculous. I most likely will never witness anything like that again. Mel directed the audience in a round of “Happy Birthday” for Carl, and it was moving. WOW! What a night! After the show was over I ran into my pal Maurice Lamarche (fellow Voice Actor) in the hall. He concurred that it was one spectacular night. I drove home and grabbed a quick nap, and then I got up to feed and walk Roxy. I checked the top of the headboard and it all looked clean and tidy. I also set up a lamp with a black light bulb in it, and placed it on top of my headboard. It shone out into my room and illuminated my starfield curtains with an ethereal neon-like glow. It was beautiful! My “Tranquility Zone” was quickly becoming a place so amazing, that I hardly ever want to leave it. I made my usual Saturday night salad and settled in to watch another episode of the old BBC show “The Avengers” on DVD. I’m about 10 episodes away from the finale of the series, and this episode was particularly demonstrative of the show’s fatigue. It was clearly running out of steam. As I got ready to turn in for the night, morning had started to dawn. But as I walked Roxy one more time before bed, we enjoyed strolling through the neighborhood. It was a cool, gray, foggy Sunday morning, and it was deathly quiet. I love gray mornings, and this one was utterly breathtaking. As I glanced across the way at the movie studio in our neighborhood, something grabbed Roxy’s attention. A rabbit was hopping around the movie lot looking for stuff to munch on. Since it was Palm Sunday, I figured it was the Easter Bunny out prepping for Easter. Neat!

Sunday the 20th – A “NO SUN” SUNDAY! – By the time I woke up at 3 it was still hazy out. It wasn’t quite as foggy or overcast as it was earlier in the day when I hit the hay, but it was a pleasant day. Roxy and I walked over to evening church and as the service started I noticed that my “adopted grandma” Shirley wasn’t there. I was hoping she was OK. So I stepped out of the service and gave her a call on my cell phone. She answered and was OK. While waiting to go to church she had fallen asleep on her couch. She said she was dressed and ready to go, so I told her I’d see her at church. After church Shirley walked home with me and we drove over to get Sara for dinner. We went to Lancers in Burbank, my favorite place to get a hot beef sandwich. Shirley enjoyed a hot turkey sandwich and chocolate ice cream. She said when she was a little girl, she remembered what a treat it was to go out to eat and get a hot turkey sandwich. I love listening to her stories and memories about growing up. I dropped Sara off at her house, dropped Shirley off at her house, and I headed home to grab a quick nap. I got up and recorded my auditions, and sat at the computer to work on a nifty sign to put on my bedroom door. I want to have a sign that says “The Tranquility Zone” on my door, and I want it to personify the very essence and vibe of peace and relaxation. I’m looking for the perfect backdrop, and the perfect font for the lettering. Then I’ll have it printed on high quality metallic paper, mount it to some foam core, and hang it on my door. I busied myself with some more random tasks, and then eventually made some food and turned in. I watched more of the “Jesus of Nazareth” mini-series on Blu Ray.

And how was YOUR week??!!

PIX FROM THE WEEK

Carl Reiner called him “The Funniest Human Being Who Was Ever Put On Earth.” I call him “The Funniest Man Who Ever Lived.” I think Mr. Reiner and I are in agreement, that Mel Brooks is a national treasure and a comedy legend. Here are a few shots of Mel from the “Blazing Saddles” even from last Saturday night.