September 23 – September 29 (2013)

RANDOM PIC OF THE WEEK

My good pal Ruben Procopio is up to his old tricks again, that sly dog. Ruben has been illustrating the new “Batman 1966” comic book series and doing a fantastic job (and having a LOT of fun doing it!). But when my pal Scott Sebring sent me an image of one of the panels Ruben illustrated, somebody in there looked VERY familiar! Don’t you agree? (THANKS Ruben!)

Sometimes I forget what songs I have stashed on my i-Pod, which is great. Because when a gem like this one comes up randomly as I’m listening, it’s a special surprise. Because I’ve forgotten it was even there! This may be considered one of the greatest “cougar” songs since Rod Stewart’s “Maggie May!” In the early 70’s Bobby Goldsboro did this homage to the end of innocence called “Summer (The First Time).” As you know I’m a big fan of story songs, and this song paints another great visual picture of a special moment in a young man’s life.

Monday the 23rd – BAD DOG! – The ol’ hotline rang at 11 to let me know there was a “Tonight Show” bit in my inbox that I needed to record. I finished it up, sent it in, and went back to bed with a sinus headache. It’s the time of year where this issue is a problem for me, because of my allergies. But just as I got comfortable I got another hotline call to do a second bit. So back to my studio I went to record and send the bit. Then I laid back down, but the third time’s the charm I guess, as I got another hotline call at 2:30 to record another bit. Oh well. Duty calls. It was time to get up and head to work anyway. When I got to the studio I recorded another bit, and then rehearsed the opening of the show. Just before we started the show I learned that Justin Timberlake wasn’t going to sing as planned. He wasn’t feeling up to par and was having voice troubles. On the way home I stopped at my mailbox and got a few packages containing two pair of new Vans shoes (one blue and black checkerboard, and the other pair glow-in-the-dark checkerboard!), and I also got 5 boxes of Monster cereal…Franken Berry, Count Chocula, Boo Berry, Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy. Right around this time of year they re release the famous retro Monster cereals for Halloween, but as a Target exclusive this year, they manufactured them with the original retro box art! They’ll make great displays in my kitchen, and it will be no problem eating my way through five boxes of Monster cereal! When I got home I fed Spooky and sat down to write Wally’s Week. Afterwards I took Roxy out for a walk through the neighborhood, but she was being particularly naughty and problematic. Being a “herding” class breed, she has an instinct to chase anything that’s running or going fast. And since the evening was upon us, and the weather had gotten cooler, there were lots of joggers out. So she was constantly twisting and pulling at her leash when the joggers would go by. She also barked a lot at other dogs around the neighborhood. I had to stop her and scold her several times. I guess I go from one extreme to another. Sassie was very timid and would meekly go down the street with her tail between her legs, wishing to get back home as fast as possible. And Roxy wants to get involved with anyone and everyone she sees. As the sun began to set, I headed to the pool to watch the stars come out one at a time. I grabbed a quick nap, then got up for my auditions. I did a little work around the house and then headed to bed early to be up Tuesday morning for a session.

Tuesday the 24th – OFF TO SEE THE WIZARD! – I got up early for a four hour session for a cartoon. Unfortunately I’m still not able to talk about the show yet, but it’s an animated series based on some videogames I was involved with. The session started at 9 at Studiopolis Burbank and ended around 1. I sped over to the pharmacy to pick up a prescription, then stopped by Subway to grab a footlong tuna on white. When I got home there was a bit for “TTS” in my inbox. I recorded it, sent it in, and then relaxed a bit before getting ready to head to NBC. But once I let my energy lapse, I started getting very tired. UH OH! I still had a long day ahead of me. So I got up and moved around and then headed to the studio to tape the show. When I got there I recorded a quick comedy bit for writer John Melendez, then went into the booth to rehearse the opening. Two minutes before we started the taping I got in the voice booth, like I usually do, to prepare to open the show. About one minute before the countdown began, I felt that the windscreen (the metal screen that’s positioned in front of the microphone to minimize “P pops,” etc.) was a little high. So I found the base of the windscreen and unscrewed the little bolt to lower it. When I did, something long and black fell down on my hand. I wasn’t sure what it was until I realized with horror…IT’S THE MICROPHONE CORD! It pulled out of the microphone when I lowered the windscreen, because the cord was wrapped around the arm that was attached to the windscreen! 40 seconds to go! I hastily plugged the cord back into the microphone and hit the button. But all I heard in my headset was a buzz. 30 seconds to go! I kept clicking my microphone button, but still nothing but a buzz! 20 seconds to go! All of a sudden I heard myself say…”Check, check!” The mic was re-powered up and ready to go again! 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…ANNOUNCE! “It’s the Tonight Show!”…WHEW! I’m NEVER doing that again! From now on I check the connection 15 minutes before I do my open. YIKES! Patrick the audio engineer came to check it later and found out that the little latch in the cord that’s supposed to seat it into the microphone firmly, was faulty. He got it to seat properly, and hopefully we won’t have that problem again. I almost had a heart attack! When the show wrapped I drove over to the Universal Studios Metro train station to meet up with my friend Bruce Kulick and his fiance Lisa, and my assistant Sara. A few months ago I told Bruce about the 3-D Imax restoration of “The Wizard of Oz” (my favorite movie of all-time) playing for one week in September. Since it’s also Lisa’s favorite movie, he got us four tickets to see it at the world-famous Chinese Theater in Hollywood. Unfortunately the area of Hollywood Boulevard right in front of the theater was closed down for a Justin Timberlake street concert. So driving and parking in the area was going to be VERY difficult. So we decided to take the train in to Hollywood so we wouldn’t have to worry about it. We got our tickets for the Metro and got on the train. I had never taken the Metro and I’ve lived in L.A. for 26 years! It was awesome! We made it to Hollywood in about 5 minutes, and we even had time for a nice steak dinner before the movie. Bruce had gotten the tickets on-line, but since the Imax theater in Hollywood has just opened up after renovation, they don’t have their system fully “bug-proof” yet. Our tickets had us all the way in the back row…row Y! A few weeks ago when Bruce told me where the tickets were I said, “Are those good seats?” They didn’t sound very close. But luckily the theater had only sold 200 tickets and the theater seats 900, so they apologized for the website screw-up and said we could pick different seats after the show started. But I didn’t wait. I picked out a seat in the middle about 3/4 of the way up and staked my claim. I put on my 3-D glasses and got set for a good time. What I saw was UNBELIEVABLE! In fact, it ended up being one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen! From the first frame, when the MGM logo came up, I was mesmerized. The restoration was incredible! Considering I used to watch this movie every year on CBS when I was a kid on a 17 inch black and white TV, this was mind-blowing. When I saw “Wizard of Oz” on the big screen in 1987 I thought, “This is the best I’ll ever see this!” I was impressed THEN! But it was nothing close to what I was seeing now! In fact, my eyes got a little misty and stayed that way through the first half of the film. It really was quite a moving experience. Imagine knowing someone for 50 years, and then one day they show up after a face-lift, a diet and workout regimen. They’ve made a perfect movie even “perfect-er!” I moved around to different seats during the film to see it from different angles, but I really enjoyed it from 1/4 of the way up. That way the Imax completely engulfed my field of vision. I had seen this movie hundreds of times, but this was the FIRST time ever that I’ve ever been IN the movie! I really was in Munchkinland! I really was in The Witch’s Castle! It was a stunning experience. And I don’t say that lightly. As soon as it was over I wanted to see it again! We got back on the train, got back to the Universal station, and I drove home. I grabbed a quick nap (it was a LONG day!) and then got up to do auditions. I fed and walked Roxy, then did some work on the computer. I made some soup and a sandwich and watched an episode of “Kojak.”

Wednesday the 25th – BACK TO SEE THE WIZARD! – There were no hotline calls to disturb my slumber so I slept until 1pm. It felt really good considering I had been up so late the night before. I was going to ride my bike into “TTS” but time got away from me and it wasn’t possible. However it WAS a really nice day and a PERFECT day to drive my Gran Torino. I walked Roxy, did a little work on the computer, made some calls, then exchanged my Mustang for my Torino and headed to NBC. While at work I started “jonesing” to see “Wizard of Oz” again. I knew it was only in theaters for a short time, and I had plans Thursday and Friday nights, so I went on-line to get showtimes. I found out it was only playing at night tonight and Thursday nights. A new Metallica Imax film was starting on Friday. So really I only had one more chance to see “Wizard” one more time before it left theaters for good. And that was TONIGHT! I tried to buy tickets on-line for the 10:30 show that night, but the website was being problematic again. I found phone number for the Chinese Theater Imax and asked them about tickets. They said they had only sold 5% of the tickets, so we should have no problem getting them at the door. I called my pal Edi and she said she’d love to see it. I got home, swept out my garage, went inside to do some work, recorded my auditions (so I wouldn’t have to bother with them later) and got ready to go. Edi picked me up at 9:30 and we drove into Hollywood. We bought tickets in the row we wanted (row L was the perfect spot to see it!) and went in. We got our food, popcorn, drinks, etc. and found our seats. I’m SO glad I went again. Because while I was overwhelmed with the technological magic of the process when I saw it the first night, tonight I would just concentrate on enjoying the movie; the music, the story, the acting, etc. Edi and I kept our eyes on Toto (who really steals the movie), as well as Bert Lahr’s performance as the Lion, and Margaret Hamilton’s legendary performance as the Witch. We were talking afterwards that many of that film’s plot devices are facilitated by Toto! Much of that movie wouldn’t be possible without him. Had he not gotten in to Miss Gulch’s garden, Dorothy wouldn’t have had to run away and wouldn’t have gotten caught in the twister. Toto alerted Dorothy to the Scarecrow’s presence. Had the Lion not chased Toto he never would have gotten slapped by Dorothy and shown himself to be a coward. Toto led the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion to Dorothy in the Witch’s castle. Toto chased after the cat and made Dorothy miss the balloon ride with The Wizard. And of course Toto was the one who revealed the “Man Behind the Curtain!” Toto rocks! We also enjoyed watching specific Munchkins in the crowd scene. Some of them were looking into the camera, some were trying their best to stay involved in the scene and keep it “alive,” and I don’t think I ever knew that the middle Munchkin in the Lullabye League was a little girl, maybe all of 5 years old! But she was painfully adorable! But one of the things I had NEVER noticed in all my previous viewings, is when the Scarecrow, Tin Man and Lion overtake the Witch’s Guards and take on their uniforms as a disguise, Toto pops up with a red frilly thing in his mouth. Toto was in disguise too! We laughed hard about that one! When the film was over we just sat in that beautiful theater and chatted for a bit, until we were kicked out by the staff. I got home and fed and walked Roxy, did some work on the computer, had some cereal and hit the hay. Whew!

Thursday the 26th – A PEEL OUT WITH APPEAL! – The hotline rang at 10:30 to let me know there were two bits for “TTS” waiting for me in my inbox. I recorded them, sent them in and hit the hay again. (I’m REALLY not a day person!) Another hotline call came in shortly after that with instructions to be at NBC at 2:45 to do another bit in the studio. But soon after I got yet another hotline call canceling the early call time, but they let me know there was another bit for me to record at home. So I ended up getting a little extra sleep, albeit spotty sleep. It was a beautiful, breezy day. I drove the Torino over to Voice Trax West to do another session for US Airways (I hadn’t done one of those in awhile!) and then sped over to Taco Bell to get some lunch. As I was pulling out of the drive-thru there were a bunch of kids sitting outside eating their food. They all noticed the Torino and stared at it. One kid said,”Peel out!” I said, “I can’t. There are too many cops around here and my driving record is bad enough as it is.” After saying that, I hit the gas and burned rubber with a loud screech…and peeled out anyway. I laughed at myself for doing that. The kids must’ve loved it. I wanted to get to NBC early and sit in the parking lot to eat my food, while the cool fall breeze blew through my open windows, and the Sirius XM 70’s station blared from my speakers. But no sooner did I pull in than I got a text from “TTS” asking me to come right in to record something. Oh well…duty calls again! We taped the show early so Julia Louis-Dreyfuss could make her screening on time. When we wrapped it was 15 minutes earlier than normal, so the traffic was a breeze getting home! I fed Spook, walked Roxy and rested a bit before my contractor Terry came over to do some work. My pal Jason was also coming over to do some wiring work in my Batman 1966 display. While Jason worked I was upstairs tweaking my Wizard of Oz display in the Puppet Room. They turned out looking fabulous if I do say so myself! Jason got everything working downstairs in the Batman display…lights, sounds, etc. and I was happy to have them back again! I set about doing a ton of auditions and e-mailing them into my agents. Then did some work on the computer, fed and walked Roxy on our nightly late-night stroll through the neighborhood, and came inside to make a Tombstone pizza and watch another episode of “Kojak.”

Friday the 27th – FRIDAY AT LAST! – As an early weekend treat, I got no hotline calls and got to sleep until 1pm again! I got up and let my maids in to start cleaning Planet Wallywood. When I came back from walking Roxy my assistant Sara had arrived to stay with the maids while I sped off to work. When I got to NBC I went to the world-famous NBC Commissary and got a salad. But they were all out of the salad dressing I like, so I tried blue cheese instead. Not a good idea. Our guest was Sandra Bullock and to say she’s a class act would be the understatement of the century! But it was our second set of guests that really befuddled me. In the intro it said, “Comedy Central’s Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele!” In rehearsing the opening I found that rather difficult to say rapidly. I rehearsed and rehearsed before the show and eventually got my tongue wrapped around it for the taping, but I was a little tentative about it. But it all worked out. When we wrapped I drove the Torino into Sherman Oaks to visit a store called Mr. Stitch to deliver the artwork for my Tony Clifton bowling shirt. I wanted to have them embroider the Tony Clifton logo on a patch that I could put on the back of the shirt. On the way home I stopped by Staples to look at sealable, plastic storage bins. My new underground storage area is great, but it’s next to some water pipes that run under my house. I got to thinking that if any of those ever burst during an earthquake, all of the stuff I had in storage would be soaked. I have scripts, rare magazines, tapes, etc. that I just don’t want to get wet. So the alternative is to buy a bunch of plastic storage bins that would protect them against water, mold, bugs, etc. But I didn’t find as big a size as I needed, so I think I’ll try Target next. When I got home I fed Spook and walked Roxy, then hit the Jacuzzi to relax in the warm water and watch the stars come out at dusk. If you go outside at the right time, when the sky is dark blue, it’s still too bright to see stars, but just on the cusp of their appearance. I love staring up into the sky and seeing them appear one by one, as if by magic. It’s almost as if each star is on its own fader, and the stars one by one fade up in brightness and intensity. Feeling totally relaxed, I went inside to grab a four hour nap on the couch. I must’ve really needed it! When I got up I did work around the house, prepared for my Saturday meeting with my seamstress, did work on the computer, and fed and walked Roxy. As we strolled through the neighborhood on a cool, clear, starry night, I realized that summer was indeed over. It was actually a little chilly! I went inside to make some of my world-infamous Summer Sausage Spaghetti and settle down for an episode of “The Saint” from the first season DVD set before bed.

Saturday the 28th – SATURDAY SWITCHEROO, SEAMSTRESS, SUPPLIES, SWIM, SOUP, SANDWICH, AND SAINT! – At 1:30 I rousted myself out of a comfortable sleep and started the day. After walking Roxy, I drove the Gran Torino to my auxiliary garage and switched it out with my Mustang. The shop of the seamstress I’d be meeting was several miles away via freeway, and I don’t take my Torino on the freeway for fear of flying rocks, spitting gravel, etc. When I got to Karyn’s shop I was greeted by a very spirited (and loud) doggie. But Karyn said if I threw his tennis ball for him he’d be my best friend. And she wasn’t lying. This dog (only a few years old) had an insatiable appetite for chasing the tennis ball! Jack loved getting the ball (and sometimes catching it in mid-air) and bringing the saliva-soaked ball back to have you throw it again down the length of Karyn’s shop. Jack and I got along famously! Over the past few weeks I’ve been telling you about getting some custom fabric printed that’s similar to the fabric of Tony Clifton’s tuxedo jacket. The original tuxedos and fabric (from the 70’s) are loooong gone. The only option for Clifton fans is to have fabric printed at one of those on-line fabric printing places (like Spoonflower) and have the tuxedo jackets replicated. While I was at it, I’m also having a bowling-style shirt made from the same print, though a much lighter fabric for comfort. Karyn, who’s a self-avowed Clifton fan, said it sounded like a fun project for her to do. I brought along one of the original Lord West tux jackets that I own so she could see one of the originals. The day will come when I need to leave one in her possession long enough so she can strike a pattern from it to make the reproductions. But our first priority is my bowling shirts. I left all the material in her possession and took off to find lunch. I got some buffalo chicken strips from Burger King, as well as one of their chicken parmesan sandwiches. I used to really love these things, but they’re making them differently now. The last one I had tasted like it had been under the heat lamp too long…kind of tough and chewy. Thinking it was a fluke, I ordered another one. But like the last one, this too was tough and chewy. I’ll give them one more chance, but next time I’m going to order one fresh and just wait the extra time for it. I hit the grocery store to pick up some supplies for that night’s movie night, then went home to unpack the groceries. I walked Roxy, fed Spook and then cleaned out the dead leaves from my flower bed. It looks MUCH better now! My pal Larry and his daughter Kathy came over early to get a swim in before the movie. They had seen “Wizard of Oz” in 3-D Imax a few days before I did and we had a blast talking about it. After a quick dip in the Jacuzzi, I went inside to clean up and get ready for movie night. Since we’re starting the Halloween season early, we watched the original version of “The Fly” from the 50’s on Blu Ray. Fantastic! When my guests left I went into the Puppet Room to do some more work, and then fed and walked Roxy. I worked a bit on my computer, then made soup and a sandwich and headed to bed to watch another episode of “The Saint!”

Sunday the 29th – THE HEALING POWER OF WEINER COINS! – When the clock struck 4:00pm I figured I had slept enough. I got up and did some work, fed Spooky, and walked Roxy over to evening church. But when we entered the hall a small black dog charged at Roxy barking, and Roxy barked back. Since the service had just started I dragged Roxy outside to scold her. The lady who owned the small black dog came outside and said, “Don’t worry, we’re leaving.” I told her not to rush off so fast, that once the dogs got to know each other they’d be fast friends. At first Anubis (the dog’s name) was trying to dominate Roxy by jumping up on her. Roxy was being very patient, but had a slight snarl on her lips. They did a lot of sniffing and posturing, and then I had an idea. I bring along a ziplock baggie of weiner coins (slices of hotdog) to feed Roxy after the service as her reward for being good. As soon as they came out both dogs were the best of friends! Because they were no longer interested in out-posturing each other. They wanted those coins! After a little while, Anubis was comfortable enough around Roxy to walk underneath her (Anubis is a small dog) and a friendship was forged! We went inside for the service and it was very nice. One of the singers in the band had her daughter with her. She couldn’t have been any more than 5 or 6, and had on this bejeweled white, flowing dress. As the band played she got up toward the front of the hall and started dancing to the music. She literally looked like a little dancing angel! It was great. When the song was over she even got a round of applause! I went home to wait for a call from a friend who was in town so we could have dinner. But I fell asleep waiting for the call, which didn’t arrive until much later that night. She said she had gotten held up with stuff. Oh well. When I got up later that evening I did a bunch of auditions, and then did laundry and dishes. I put away the furniture from movie night, and did some more odds and ends around the house. I made some dinner and watched a special 2 hour “Kojak” episode which was really, REALLY good! I finally got to bed around 6:30 Monday morning.

And how was YOUR week??!!

PIX FROM THE WEEK

The Monster Cereals in the Target-exclusive retro boxes!