October 07 – October 13 (2013)

RANDOM PIC OF THE WEEK

With all of Roxy’s potty issues this past week, I came across this photo and thought it was really funny. LOVE the look on this little guy’s face!

Yup, this is the song I was singing in my dream just before I woke up Saturday morning! Why? I have no idea. Just one of those random things, but I’ve always liked “Is It So Strange” by Elvis…so here it is!

Monday the 7th – COUNTDOWN TO PALM SPRINGS! – As the hotline rang loudly at 11:30am (I just got to bed at 7am!) I was mentally counting down the days to my upcoming respite in Palm Springs. I answered the call, and my agent told me I was needed at “The Tonight Show” at 2:15 to record a bit. I told him I’d be there and hung up the phone to grab a little more sleep. A half hour later, another hotline call arrived. My agent again, this time telling me that the 2:15 call had been canceled, and that there was a script in my inbox waiting to be recorded. So I guess it was time to start my day. I fired up my recording studio, recorded the bit and e-mailed it in. Then I made some calls, read and sent some e-mails, and returned a few voicemails. I hit the shower and headed into work. But I stopped off at Paty’s Restaurant first to grab a delicious fried chicken salad (I wonder if God knew chickens would taste so good fried when he created them?) Just as I was finishing lunch, I got a call on my cell to head into the studio a little earlier than usual to record another comedy bit for tonight’s show. My friend Bonnie from the IE (Inland Empire) was attending the show that day, so I met up with her and gave her the backstage tour after the show. I gave her the tour of Planet Wallywood, then we headed to Jerry’s Famous Deli to grab dinner. When I got back home I was facing down a ton of auditions that needed to be recorded and sent in to my various agents via e-mail. Needless to say, after the busy day, I was exhausted. Counting down the days to my PS trip (once again), I hit the hay.

Tuesday the 8th – YAHOO SUCKS!! – When the hotline rang at noon, the thing that roused me from a sound sleep wasn’t so much the hotline’s beeping, but Roxy jumping out of a sound sleep from the abrupt and loud noise! She had been laying peacefully beside me, and obviously in a deep sleep, because when the hotline beeped she must’ve jumped into the air a foot! Poor Roxy! It was my agent informing me of a comedy bit in my inbox that needed attention. I banged it out, sent it in, and walked Roxy down the street for some exercise and our late morning constitutional. By the time we came back inside there was a second bit that needed to be recorded. We had an early taping scheduled for today so I worked on the computer for a little while and headed in. During the show The Tonight Show Band played one of my favorite songs of all time…”Move On Up” by Curtis Mayfield. They do a TERRIFIC job on this song. Dorian the lead singer captures Mayfield’s vocals perfectly. I actually got up out of my chair in the audio bay and ran to the stage. I stood off to the side and listened to the band play during the commercial break. What a song! It definitely put a smile on my face for the rest of the day! On the way home I stopped by Fast Frame with my freshly signed Bo Derek poster that I’ve had since I was a kid. The framer Mike was a little nervous about bonding such an old poster to the foam core backing, but he did such a great job with my vintage Elvis poster (that I got at the Elvis concert I saw when I was 16) that I wasn’t the least bit worried. I also took my signed Brooks Robinson replica jersey in to get his ideas about framing that. But after speaking with him it’s going to take a little more thought than I had anticipated. I’ve never framed a shirt like this before. I liked the style of jersey so much though, that I bought another one on ebay (unsigned) to wear around. It should be here in a couple of days. Mike reminded me that I had something there from last year that I had forgotten about. A mounted poster of Andy Kaufman with the “Heartbeeps” robot puppet! The first one I had printed and mounted had started to bubble, because the printer mounted it with spray glue. So I had a second one printed that I took in to have Mike dry mount, so it wouldn’t bubble. Unfortunately the printing quality of the second one wasn’t as good, so even though the mounting process was better, the poster wasn’t usable. I got home and walked Roxy, and then got on my Yahoo e-mail only to find out that Yahoo has changed everything with their e-mail interface again!! What the blazes is going on with those clowns? Can’t they do anything right? This was a total mess. After going through hell with their “upgrade” change-over last June, nothing’s been working right. Delayed e-mails (sometimes up to 24 hours!), slow usability, retarded functionality, draggy responsiveness…and that’s just the beginning. I went on-line and saw the comments from other (former) Yahoo users who have literally given up on Yahoo and switched to another service altogether. Is this what Yahoo wants? I have had my e-mail addresses since the late 90’s and the Classic format worked for me very well. But this “new and improved” garbage is…well…GARBAGE! Are they PURPOSELY trying to sabotage their faithful users? I signed up with a new gmail account, and though I couldn’t get wallywingert@gmail, (another Wally Wingert had already grabbed it I guess) I got something just as usable. But I haven’t migrated my entire e-mail community over there yet, and it’ll take some time to get that done. It’s too bad that I’ve had those addresses for years, but time to change I guess. Yahoo has officially lost me. I ame home and took a dip in the Jacuzzi and grabbed a nap. I got up later in the evening to do auditions and work around the house.

Wednesday the 9th – HUMP DAY RAIN! – I actually got to sleep until 1! No hotline calls. When I got up to walk Roxy I could see that it had rained all morning, though it wasn’t currently raining. I attended to some phone calls and e-mails, then went outside to walk Roxy before it decided to start raining again. I went to my printer to have the Andy Kaufman poster reprinted. I had resent him the file the night before via e-mail, and I wanted to make sure he didn’t make Andy’s face too red this time. I’m thinking that the third time’s the charm with this poster. A fan e-mailed me a hi rez version of this pic a few years ago, figuring it would be a nice addition to my “Heartbeeps” display mannequin. It’s a GREAT shot, but it needs to be mounted properly, and printed with the right hue and color tones. I finished up at the printer’s and went to Enterprise to secure my rental car for the following week. Since I am taking Roxy with me, my little Mustang isn’t big enough to hold all our luggage and accoutrements. After I finished making the reservation, I got into my car and started it up. I heard the horrible sound of screeching brakes and a loud CRUNCH coming from Ventura Boulevard. Then I heard panicked screaming. As I began to pull out on to the street from the Enterprise driveway, I saw a black BMW SUV with its driver’s side completely smashed in. Two pre-teen kids (a boy and a girl) were standing by the car’s passenger side watching their mom who was hysterically running around the street crying and screaming. I guess she was happy to be alive. And happy that her kids seemed to be alright. People were running over to her to see if she was alright, hugging her, while others attended to the person in the little white car that T-Boned the SUV. From the looks of it, it was the black SUV’s fault. Seemingly, the SUV pulled out into traffic and didn’t see the white car coming down the boulevard at what must’ve been a high rate of speed. I thought about pulling over and parking to see if I could be of assistance, but it looked like the situation was well in hand. The driver of the white car was just sitting there looking stunned. But as I drove off it did my heart good to see so many bystanders stopping what they were doing and rushing to the aid of the drivers. It gave me a nice feeling. The rain started to pick up again so I drove home to get my umbrella. As I drove to work a talk show I was listening to on the radio played “Bittersweet Symphony” by The Verve as bumper music. Unfortunately they don’t play the entire song when they use it for bumper music, but for about 45 seconds I was having a wonderful moment. “Bittersweet Symphony” is one of my favorite “rainy day songs.” Not sure why, since it doesn’t really mention anything about rain in the song, but I think it dates back to the late 90’s, when I was driving back to LA from San Diego with my girlfriend at the time. It was a rainy afternoon, and that song came on my CD. It created a wonderful moment, a snippet of time in my life that I reflect fondly upon. So I guess I’ll always love listening to “Bittersweet Symphony” in the car on a rainy day. I got to NBC and check in with everybody, did the rehearsal of the show open, and then started the show at 4pm. I went over to grab a Caesar salad at the world famous NBC Commissary. Ann Romney was a guest on the show today, and she was promoting her new cookbook. I think every mother should have a cookbook published, because there are obviously lots of family recipes that should be shared with the world. My mom’s goulash, for example was always one of my favorites. What was YOUR mom’s favorite culinary creation? Former Presidential candidate Mitt Romney did a surprise walk-on and when he appeared the place went nuts. In fact the ovation was rather deafening and lasted a good solid minute at least! After the show my assistant Sara came to pick me up so we could both take the Metro train into Hollywood to see my pal Dan Roebuck’s premiere of his new documentary about guys who collect classic monster toys. Whenever I have to go into Hollywood (especially to the Chinese Theatre) I like to leave my car by Universal Studios and take the subway. I first took that route a few weeks ago when we were going to see “The Wizard of Oz” in 3-D Imax at the Chinese Theatre. The street outside the theatre was closed down due to a concert event, so driving would have been difficult. But the train was such a hassle-free experience I’m going to support it whenever I can! Dan’s film, “Doctor Shocker’s Vault of Horror” was a fun time! I kept seeing images of many of the collectibles I had as a kid. I wanted to blurt out, “I had that! I had THAT too!” The premiere party was a great time too. Lots of great like-minded people! Dan is selling off a lot of his collection in an auction at the end of the month, and this all tied into that upcoming event. Sara and I got on the train and headed back. She took me to NBC so I could get my car and I hit the trail towards home. I walked Roxy, did a bunch of auditions, typed of my Saturday night movie night invites, and headed to bed as early as I could to be up in the morning for a session.

Thursday the 10th – CAR ACCIDENT #2! – Spooky and Roxy were delighting in crawling all over me on the bed. Either they really love me, or they wanted me to get up and feed them, or they were cold and wanted warmth. I got up and attended to their needs, then got ready to head over to Voice Trax West studio in Studio City to record a radio commercial for McDonald’s. I play a newsreel announcer. In the copy of the spot they talk about their app and how it’s available for android and i-Pad. But saying those words in that anachronistic voice was really funny to me. With a delivery like that you would have expected the announcer to be speaking of “a new-fangled telephonic conversation.” I did two takes and I was dismissed. They got what they needed almost right away. Those are the best kinds of sessions. When the producer and director know exactly what they want, and how to get it. And once they’ve gotten what they want, they don’t drag it out unnecessarily. I went over to CVS to pick up a prescription (with all the weather changes we’ve been having my allergies and sinuses were going insane.) and then got a few grocery items. I dashed home, put away all the groceries and worked on the computer for a while. I had thought about taking the bike to work, but the early morning was starting to make me a bit sleepy. So I hopped in my car and headed to KFC to get a few Chicken Littles for lunch. I much prefer the old-style of Chicken Littles, like they used to make back in the early 2000s. The new style of Chicken Littles, while still very tasty, is nothing more than a miniaturized version of Chik Fil’ A’s chicken sandwiches. Chicken, mayo and a pickle between bread. As I sat in my car at the window waiting for my food, I felt a CLUNK! Some jerk had backed out of a parking spot and right into my car! I was unable to get out of my car quickly because I was parked next to the drive-thru window, but when I looked over to my right the driver had gotten out to inspect the damage. He waved and said, “It’s alright!” By the time I was able to get out of my car to inspect it myself he was driving away! Luckily there was just a dusting of gray paint from his car on the rim of my right rear wheel well. But what a jerk! The people waiting in line behind me couldn’t believe that he just drove off! But as he drove off the woman in the car with him was screaming,”You hit a car! You hit a car!” Her voice was so shrill and annoying I almost felt sorry for him! I thought about getting his license number but the damage was so minimal…why bother? I’m going to have my Mustang completely repainted soon anyway, and there wasn’t any body damage at all. I just thanked God it was minimal and went on my way. I got over to “TTS” early and ate my lunch in the parking lot while listening to the radio. Not quite as cool as being in the Torino listening to 70’s music on the satellite, but still pleasant. Even still, I’m glad I DIDN’T have my Torino…because that nut at the KFC drive-thru window would have REALLY screwed up my paint! Gray paint on black isn’t so noticeable, but gray paint on Viper Red would be awful! I went inside and opened the show, but during the taping I got very tired. In fact, I nodded off in the chair during the show. Since I’m not really needed for anything after I do the opening announcement, it’s OK. But I was beat! The week was catching up to me, and again I was counting down the days to my trip to Palm Springs! Dan Roebuck’s pal Steve and his girlfriend were in the audience, so I went out to find them and bring them backstage. As we stood in the front lobby talking, preparing to leave the building, I was telling Steve about my new friendship with Elliot Lurie, the lead singer of Looking Glass. I started telling him about how we had begun to construct a sequel to Brandy over dinner recently. As we were talking Jay came down the stairs to head to his car and overheard us talking. He started singing,” Brandy! You’re a fine girl! What a good wife you would be!” It was too funny! It seems that EVERYBODY knows that song! I hit my mailbox on the way home and picked up some new eBay purchases. I got a new brown Lord West tuxedo, like Tony Clifton’s but brown instead of orange, and the Brooks Robinson vintage jersey I had been expecting. Since this was a Large size, and unsigned, this would be the one I would wear around proudly. When I got home my assistant Sara came by to do some work. I showed her the jersey and said, “Hey, that signature came out in the wash pretty well didn’t it?” She looked at me puzzled and said, “What?” I explained how I loved the signed Brooks Robinson jersey I got and the autograph show the prior Saturday so much, that I decided to wash out the autograph and actually wear it. She looked horrified. “Why would you do that?” I said, “Well, I have a lot of signed Brooks Robinson stuff anyway, and I didn’t want to have the signature on the show while I was wearing it.” She couldn’t believe it! Then I told her the truth. That it was another jersey I bought on eBay, and the original SIGNED jersey was tucked away safely in the Chaney Room. GOTCHA! I fed Spook and walked Roxy, then did some work on the computer. I took a dip in the Jacuzzi then grabbed a nap on the couch. But when I woke up I was FREEZING! I forgot it’s getting later in the year and it’s getting chillier. Poor Spook was up on the blanket trying to get underneath. I guess if I’m going to nap on the couch in the coming months I need to have TWO blankets! It was so chilly, I had to turn on the heat in my house for the first time this season! Summer’s definitely over. I recorded two auditions, and then fed and walked Roxy. I did work on the computer all evening and didn’t get to bed until 6am! I had a lot of prep for the big weekend ahead!

Friday the 11th – ONLY ORANGE FOODS ALLOWED! – After only 3.5 hours of sleep, I got an early hotline call at 9:30am. My agent said it might be necessary for me to go into NBC at 1:15 for a bit. I set my alarm accordingly and went back to sleep for a little while longer. Soon I got another hotline call telling me there was a script in my inbox that needed to be recorded. I called Troy the writer to get some notes about it before I recorded it, and then finished it and sent it in. I went back upstairs to the bathroom and noticed that Roxy had pee-peed on the bathroom floor again. She’s been doing this off and on over the past few weeks. What’s wrong with her? Luckily, I had a potty pad down just in case. Maybe she was drinking too much water before bed. Normally that wouldn’t affect her, but maybe as she gets older it might become an issue. The previous night I had hand-washed the Brooks Robinson Orioles jersey so I could wear it all day. It’s a delicate shirt that has to be hand-washed and allowed to drip dry. Overnight it dried perfectly, (thanks in part to the heater in my house running) and it was ready to wear! It’s VERY comfy! But since it’s hard to wash, I’m going to wear it as long as I can before washing it again. Maybe I’ll have it dry cleaned each time. But just in case, I decided to ONLY eat orange foods the rest of the day. That way if I spilled something on the jersey, it wouldn’t be that noticeable! Silly, I know. I went over to Kalmenson and Kalmenson casting at 12:50 for an audition, then I hit Taco Bell for lunch. I got Doritos tacos…orange in color. So if any “Dorito dust” got on my shirt, no problem! I stopped by It’s a Wrap and bought a cool leather vest that was used in a Fox production. It looks to be custom-made, and has very useful pockets all over it. I think it was used in some “military” or “law enforcement” capacity, because the pockets were in the shape of things like handcuffs, gun magazines, etc. I can’t wait to wear it to the gun range the next time I go! I can fill it with all my ammo, and never have to leave the target platform! I also went across the street to Junk For Joy. I love going to that store as it has lots of wearable treasures. But sadly, the owner is retiring from business and everything must go. I dashed off to “TTS” and ate my lunch in the car. We taped the final show for the week, and we won’t be back live until October 21st. Next week is hiatus! YAY! After the show I stayed around a bit to bid everyone farewell and wish them a pleasant vacation. Sara drove over to NBC to meet me, so we could drive over to Denny’s for dinner. I had buffalo chicken strips…orange again. Then we went over to Son of Monsterpalooza at the Burbank Airport Marriott. We picked up our wristbands for the weekend’s festivities and enjoyed looking around at the awesome displays. We saw lots of friends, including my pal Deverill Weekes and his wife Juliet Landau, who were showing their short film at the convention. A make-up artist was beginning a make-up on a model, and though he had just started I could tell which character he was doing. As soon as I saw the thin strip of “fish skin” which drew up the tip of the model’s nose, I knew it was the Chaney Phantom. I talked to him briefly about the make-up and he told me he was doing it almost exactly the way Chaney did his original make-up. The “old school” way! I couldn’t wait around to see the finished product, but he said he would show me photos the next day. On the way home we got ice cream cones at McDonald’s (not orange though) and headed home. I walked Roxy, took a quick dip in the Jacuzzi, and met up with my pal Brittney Powell for a late dinner. I got back home and did a ton of work around the house, preparing for Monsterpalooza Day 2, and my church’s “Blessing of the Animals.” I did all of my auditions so I wouldn’t have to bother with them Sunday night. Just before I hit the hay I was hungry again, so I ate some spaghetti-O’s…orange again, though I no longer had my jersey on. But if there’s a theme for the day I like to stick with it.

Saturday the 12th – ROXY TROUBLE! – Until the alarm rang at 10am, I was sound asleep! I rarely get awakened by an alarm clock any more. If my agents aren’t hotlining me about work, my own body clock will wake me up before the alarm goes off. But I was comatose until it rang at 10! I had the coolest dream that I was singing Elvis Presley’s “Is It So Strange” into some weird device to make my voice sound echo-ey. Odd. When I went downstairs I saw that Roxy had peed overnight again. Alright…there’s something more seriously wrong with her than just having too much water before bed. So I called the local vet and made an appointment for her at 3:30. That would give me plenty of time to do what I needed to do at Monsterpalooza and head back home to get her. I walked her over to the church so we could participate in the annual “Blessing of the Animals.” Sara even brought Spook over in his case so he could be blessed too! My pal Edi brought her dog Bunny over, and my pal Amanda brought her dog Ziggy all the way from the Inland Empire! When we walked back home I met up with my friend Micki Boden who was going to Monsterpalooza with us. I gave her a wristband and told her how to get there. We all had to take separate cars because I had to bow out early to get Roxy to the vet. I had a great time at the convention getting autographs from Dee Wallace and Steve Railsback. Some enterprising artist had made a Teenage Frankenstein puppet in the style of the old 60’s hand puppets by the Ideal Toy Company. Gary Conway, who played the monster in the film “I Was a Teenage Frankenstein,” was at the show and signed the puppet I bought. I told Dee Wallace that in E.T., she was the original screen MILF. She laughed hysterically and said, “My daughter just told me what that meant last week!” I talked to the make-up artist who did the Chaney Phantom make-up and he showed me the final result on his i-Pad. AMAZING! It looked terrific! I got back home just before 3 and loaded Roxy up in the car to take her to the vet. Come to find out, after a cursory analysis of her urine, she did have some bacteria floating around. But they wanted to send it to the lab to be sure. In the meantime they prescribed her some antibiotics and an anti-inflammatory for the pain. When we went back out into the waiting area, there were so many cute doggies there I lost my head. And it wasn’t until we got home that I realized, I had left my black leather satchel at the vet’s office! I called them and YUP, sure enough…it was there. So I dropped Roxy off, then turned around and went back to get it. I got some sodas at the liquor store for movie night that evening, then went back to give Roxy her medicine. But 10 minutes later she vomited. Apparently I didn’t give her the medicine with enough food and it upset her stomach. So from now on I’m going to serve her a half meal with chicken and rice. I was able to grab a short nap before movie night. Sara arrived promptly at 7:30 to start organizing Planet Wallywood for guests. We watched “The Invisible Man” on Blu Ray, and then chatted for a while before everyone left. I spent a few hours working on the computer and getting bookwork done before my upcoming vacation. I gave Roxy her dinner and her meds, and she kept them down this time. We walked through the neighborhood for our usual late night walk, then I came back inside and made one of my super salads, and settled in to watch another episode of “The Saint” before bed.

Sunday the 13th – PALM SPRINGS HERE I COME! – I got up at 2 to head to a lunch meeting with Carolyn and Laura, the two gals who organized the Starsky & Hutch tribute dinner earlier in the year. They have lots of other exciting things happening! I got a call from Roxy’s vet who said that no bacteria were detected by the lab in her urine. WHAT?! I called the vet and asked if I should stop the antibiotics then. If there wasn’t any reason for her to be on them, why burden her body with them. She explained that sometimes the samples can sit around too long and the bacteria become undetectable. Or maybe she had another issue that wasn’t UTI related. She advised keeping her on them for the full 10 day run. Can’t be too careful I guess. But I had always heard that if you take antibiotics too much, your body can become immune to their effects. So I didn’t want her to be on them unnecessarily. After the lunch meeting I gave Laura and Carolyn the tour of Planet Wallywood. When they took off I was in need of a short nap. After all, I hadn’t gotten to bed until about 9am, and my normal Sunday routine of sleeping all day had been altered because of the lunch meeting. I ended up sleeping from 7 to midnight! I must’ve really been beat! I woke up with Spook on the bed cuddling with me. It was nice, as he doesn’t do it often. I spent the entire night working in my office area. I cleaned off my messy desk, paid bills, did bookwork for both my personal and corporate bank accounts, organized my desk, and reconciled my bank statements! It was a lot of work, but definitely work that needed to be done before I left for my brief vacation. When Roxy and I went on our late night walk around 3am, we didn’t see a SOUL outside! Not one car drove down the street, and nobody was on the sidewalk. It was almost kind of eerie! And my breath was frosty, so it was very chilly out! I came back inside, made some of my Buffalo Mac and watched another episode of “The Saint” just before finally getting to sleep at 6:30am!

And how was YOUR week??!!

PIX FROM THE WEEK

Roxy rests on the bed. A true life of leisure!