January 11 – January 19 (2016)

RANDOM PIC OF THE WEEK

This picture speaks for itself. How cute!

Even though this is not a Grand Funk Railroad song, they perform it in concert because their lead singer wrote and sang this song with the band .38 Special. Max Carl does a soulful version of “Second Chance” at the Grand Funk shows, and it’s always enjoyable. Since they haven’t released the slower, ballad-y version of the song, here’s the original hit from 1988. This song holds a lot of personal memories for me, and hearing it in either style is always a moving experience. Great song!

Monday the 11th – MARVELOUS MONDAY! – After sleeping in until 3, I was up and out the door by 4. I headed to the hardware store to buy supplies to make the display stands for the latest additions to my collection…replica puppets of Crow and Servo from “Mystery Science Theater 3000.” I swung by McDonald’s to get some quick lunch, and then went to a lighting place in Sherman Oaks to get some new lights for my bedroom. Over the holidays I started totally recharging and reinvigorating my bedroom, which involved changing a lot of stuff around. I added new lighting, and did a ton of organizing. After cleaning out and reorganizing my closet (which took several days) I got busy with categorizing, organizing and labeling my book library. By the time I’m done, everything will be easily findable, and super-efficient. And CLEAN! Everything in my room is getting cleaned top to bottom! I have some red and blue rope lights that I leave on at night while I’m enjoying dinner and watching DVDs. But they’ve been up for about 15 years and over half of the lights in the ropes are burned out. I was lucky enough to find brand new red and blue rope lights, so I’ll install them when I have a chance and throw out the old ones. I got some groceries on the way home and made my way back to the house. My pal Emily came by to pick up some stuff she’s selling for me on eBay. With all of the cleaning and “purging” I’ve been doing I have a lot of stuff that’s not exactly appropriate for Goodwill, but more in line with eBay sales. My pal Jasmine stopped by to say hi, as she was in the area. I grabbed a nap and then got up to do my auditions, write Wally’s Week and then head to bed.

Tuesday the 12th – MUPPETASTIC! – The first stop of the day was at Voicecasters in Burbank for an audition at 10:30. Then I was blessed enough to get a tour of the set of “The Muppets,” courtesy of my pal Eric Jacobson; the amazingly talented Muppeteer behind characters like Fozzie, Animal, Bert, Grover, and the illustrious Miss Piggy. I originally met him on the set of “The Tonight Show” when Miss Piggy appeared to promote their latest film. He’s a huge “Batman” fan, so it was cool that we got to meet up on the 50th anniversary of the debut of the 1966 TV series on ABC! The same network that runs “The Muppets!” It was a fun tour, seeing how every set is built up 3 feet off the ground to accommodate the Muppeteers. I saw Rowlf’s Tavern, which is an amazingly detailed set! I saw Miss Piggy’s dressing room, and Kermit’s office. The sets are so detailed, that even the books in Kermit’s office are themed to what Kermit would want to read. Books about producing movies, directing TV shows, acting, etc. What detail! We walked to one set and there were three huge wooden cabinets with locks on them. Eric said, “Have you ever seen the puppets?” With wide eyes I said, “No.” He opened up a cabinet and there was Crazy Harry, hanging around between takes. A headless Zoot (still holding his saxophone) hung there as well. But when Fozzie emerged from the case I was entranced! Eric was showing me the construction of the puppet and we were marveling at the craftsmanship that goes into making one of these gorgeous pieces. Then I said, “Can I meet him?” Just then Fozzie came to life and introduced himself. I told him I was a big fan and it was great meeting him after all these years. He put his hands over his eyes and asked me to speak some more. As I did he perked up with a realization…”I’ve heard your voice before!” he exclaimed! Apparently he was a big “Tonight Show” fan. And now that he’s the show announcer for “Up Late with Miss Piggy” we had a lot to talk about. My pal Josh works regularly on the show as a background player. I told Eric that someday I wanted to contact his agency and get on the show as an extra just so I could watch The Muppets in action. He said they like to hire background players that are on the shorter side so the puppets don’t look so diminutive. Being a long-haired, bearded 6 foot 1 inch guy, I figured that was a plan that wouldn’t be realized. With my look I just wouldn’t blend in. Then Eric said, “But you WOULD blend in with the other Muppeteers! They all look like you!” When he showed me the Miss Piggy talkshow set, I noticed that there were about 50 chairs set up in the audience section. He said that you did NOT need to be short to be in Miss Piggy’s audience, so I’m going to do some investigation and see if I can get in her audience someday. I’ll get to see Miss Piggy in action, Fozzie Bear open the show, and Statler and Waldorf heckle the entire proceedings! Eric and I had lunch and chatted some more, and then I made my way over to my mailbox to pick up some packages. I got home and grabbed a quick nap, and then headed to the Sons of the Desert meeting. Those are always fun, and it’s a dream come true to be an official member of the premiere Laurel and Hardy appreciation society. I got home and did my auditions, studied my “Sonic” scripts for the next day’s recording session, and then I hit the hay early to be up for the session the next morning.

Wednesday the 13th – WRONG ONE, WALLY! – I thought I was pretty slick having it all figured out. I would get up a bit earlier than usual for the “Sonic Boom” session, walk Roxy to Rusty’s to get a bath, and then be ready for the 9am session. But as I got closer to the studio, I didn’t see any cars parked outside. Uh-oh! Could I be at the wrong studio? Did I not read the e-mail closely enough? Sure enough, the session for that day was doing to be at Studipolis BURBANK! Oops! I asked them to call over there and tell them I’d be a tad late. I dropped Roxy at the groomers to get her bathed before our upcoming trip to Palm Springs, and headed back to hop in the car and drive to the Burbank location. I made it by 9:30, and JUST IN TIME for my first line in the script to be recorded. Talk about good timing! We finished the session around at noon, and then I headed to Enterprise to reserve my rental car for Friday’s trip to Palm Springs. Both my assistant Sara and my friend Edi have a birthday on Friday, so we’re all getting together to celebrate and see my buddy Bruce Kulick play in the Grand Funk Railroad concert in Palm Springs. I picked up Roxy from the groomer’s, and then headed home to do a bit for the “Ellen” show. Then it was back in the car and off to my chiropractor appointment. When I got done with it I had a bit of a headache though. I grabbed lunch at Little Caesar’s and ate my Crazy Bread and pizza in my car while relaxing and listening to the radio. Then I went home to grab a nap. I slept from 5pm to 9pm to try and get rid of my headache. I got up to walk Roxy, and then laid back down again and slept for another four hours! I must’ve needed it! I’ve learned that when my body tells me it needs rest, I have to listen to it. I got up and did my auditions and started getting ready for my Palm Springs trip. I did some bookkeeping, and then walked Roxy on our late-night stroll through the neighborhood. It was a gorgeous, foggy night. Very cool and quiet.

Thursday the 14th – WRAPPIN’ UP THE WEEK! – Right around 1pm my maids arrived to clean up Planet Wallywood. I had to split around 1:45 to make an audition in West L.A. at 2:45, so my pal Brittney Powell came by to stay with the maids until they finished. Then she locked up and headed home. Meanwhile, I was on my way to West L.A. to do an audition for my pal Amanda Wyatt and “Skylanders.” It was a great time and it’s always fun to see Amanda. I haven’t really seen her since we did the last “Arkham” session at Warner. On the way home I triple-checked with Enterprise to make sure my SUV would be ready at noon on Friday. The past few times I’ve rented from them, there had been time-eating delays that put me behind schedule. But the manager said I could come get the SUV now, and he wouldn’t charge me. I thought that was nice of him, and it would guarantee that I would get out of town on time! I stopped by and picked up the Ford Escape, and headed home. Sara came over to watch the debate with me on TV, and then I started packing for Palm Springs!

Friday the 15th – ROXY NON GRATA! – Right at noon I threw the bags in to the SUV and got ready to leave. But at the last minute I had a second thought about taking Roxy. Firstly, I was going to be on the move a lot during this trip, and I wouldn’t have a lot of time to spend with Roxy. Secondly, I was only going to be there for a few days, so I’d be OK without her for that short period. When Brittney arrived to begin housesitting, I told her I’d be leaving Roxy behind. So she’d have to watch Spooky AND Roxy. It was a load off my mind, because I was wrestling with what to do with Roxy while I was away a lot of the time in Palm Springs. Because of the short trip I took only about half of what I normally take for my four day excursions. Before I left I did another bit for “Ellen,” and did a few last-minute auditions. I hit the road at 1:11, got some gas and got some lunch at McDonald’s. It was a nice drive, but even at that early hour it still took 3 hours to get there. I got checked into the hotel and met up with my friend James who had gotten his room a few hours earlier. In the evening James and I drove over to LaQuinta and met up with my pals Edi & Elliot (the newlyweds) for Edi’s birthday dinner at a place called Cliffside; a restaurant built right into the side of a cliff! It was a nice time, but I was exhausted. I got back to my room and settled in for 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep! Or so I thought…

Saturday the 16th – THE CASE OF THE MISSING TOMATO! – Shortly after 7:30am I woke up on my own. I was hungry! I called room service and had breakfast delivered. It arrived within 10 minutes! Amazing! It sure was nice enjoying breakfast on the balcony overlooking the golf course and the mountains. When I finished I went back to bed to sleep for a few more hours. But when I woke up just before noon I had a text from Bodie Stroud (my car guy) asking if I was up yet. I also had a voicemail message from him. On December 21st I took my Gran Torino into his shop to get some upgrades done. I figured he had found something else wrong and he needed my approval to do the work. Or maybe he was calling to tell me that the car was finished and ready for pick-up. I got ahold of him on the phone and I could immediately tell that something was amiss. He said, “I don’t know how to tell you this. But your Torino was stolen last night.” I was shocked, to say the least. He explained that late Friday night, a thief (or thieves) had gotten through two locked gates, got into my Torino (which was left in the outdoor paint booth in preparation to be painted with the keys still inside!) and drove the Torino out. Apparently the thieves couldn’t break the lock on the big gates, so they CRASHED THE TORINO THROUGH THE GATES, busting them off their hinges and no doubt destroying the front end of my car! It sounded like some fantastic scene from an actual “Starsky & Hutch” episode! Bodie said they saw traces of red paint on the gates, and they found my broken radio antennae lying on the ground. I tried not to overreact, but I wondered why somebody would leave the keys (and cutoff switch) IN MY CAR outdoors. I had lots of questions. Strangely enough, a few days earlier, a childhood friend of mine e-mailed me to deliver the sad news that his wife had lost her long battle with cancer. So it really gave me perspective. My mantra for the weekend was, “It’s just a car. It’s not cancer.” By comparison the car theft seemed fairly miniscule. But it was still annoying. On the way to the tour at the Elvis Honeymoon Hideaway that we had scheduled, I phoned my insurance company and Sirius XM to inform them of the theft. Along with my friends Mark, Connie and James, I joined Bruce Kulick and his wife Lisa for a tour of the Elvis Honeymoon Hideaway. I tried to check my brain and enjoy the experience. I didn’t want my troubles to be hanging over the event, as I didn’t want my friends’ enjoyment of the tour to be tainted. There’s a guitar that sits on the couch in the main living room, and while I’ve always seen people holding it for photos, I’ve never really known if it’s in tune or not, or even playable. I said, “Bruce! Is this thing even in tune?” He picked it up and strummed it. “Yup!” he said. He started in on “Jailhouse Rock” and in an impromptu fashion I started singing along. What fun! The other visitors to the house probably had no idea the Bruce Kulick of KISS and Grand Funk Railroad was performing a private concert right then and there! His wife Lisa found a photo on–line of Priscilla Presley lying on the bed in the Honeymoon Hideaway. She replicated the pose in the photo and had Bruce snap a picture. It was amazing! It wasn’t until several days later that I realized…it’s not Priscilla in the photo! It’s my friend Darlene…the Priscilla Presley impersonator! We had a good laugh about it! But it’s still a great photo! James, Mark, Connie and I headed to Sherman’s Deli for lunch. I had been in touch with Bodie all afternoon for any updates on the Torino situation. We had no idea if it was on its way to Mexico, in some chop shop getting dismembered, or sitting in someone’s driveway. I figured since they had unceremoniously crashed the car through the gates, they had little regard for the condition of the car. And that particular paint scheme would be worth far more than changing it to green or black. So logically, it was safe to assume that the thieves had no interest in selling the car to a collector. Poor Bodie was beside himself with grief, because it was clearly his guy who left the keys in the car, either accidentally or intentionally, allowing it to be stolen. We may never know who, or why, they did it. But since I have a cut-off switch in my Torino, the car couldn’t be hot-wired. It literally won’t start without the cut-off switch engaged, so clearly the cut-off key was left in there too. And since it was a three-day weekend, it was difficult to get anyone engaged in helping to find it. Perhaps the thieves knew that the three-day weekend would give them lead time to escape with the car. My main concern was the signed sun visors, signed by Paul Michael Glaser and David Soul. If the car was destroyed or defiled, those could very possibly no more. Thank GOD I had the foresight to remove my guns from the trunk when I dropped it off. That could have been UGLY! We all went to Lappert’s Ice Cream to get a Dole Whip, and then we went back to our rooms to get a nap before the Grand Funk concert at 7:30. Even though I laid down, I just couldn’t sleep. My mind was buzzing with questions. And while I kept repeating my mantra of “It’s just a car. It’s not cancer,” it didn’t keep me from feeling helpless and violated. Why didn’t I get a Lojack on the car? Where is the car? Will I ever see it again? How could somebody be so negligent to leave the keys to my car outside? My brother-in-law, God bless him, sent me a text asking if I wanted the Torino back that I gave him last spring. I told him that it was his baby now, and I will find another one somewhere. Not being able to nap, I got out of bed and started making notes I thought might help with the investigation. I’m so glad that my pal Mark the Cop was with us in Palm Springs so he could give me updated advice and information on how these situations are handled. At 6:30 we walked over to the Spa Resort and Casino and got seats for the Grand Funk concert. We had a blast and the concert was amazing. Because Bruce is my pal and we hang out, I sometimes forget what a great performer and guitarist he is. He was on fire! He’s quite the virtuoso! After the show we caught up with him for a bit and took some photos. We had all planned on going to dinner after the show, but because of my car situation I decided to load up my stuff and head right back to L.A. It’s not like I can do anything by being there anyway, but I just figured if I was needed it’d be a lot easier to be home. I’m glad I did. At that time of night I made it home in an hour and 45 minutes. I kind of figured that I’d get sleepy once I hit the road, but I didn’t. I just stayed in quiet thought; wrestling with being frustrated and angry, but still keeping the reality of the situation in total perspective. I stopped at the grocery store on the way home and got some food. It was good to be home. I unpacked, made a huge salad and watched the old British show “The Avengers” before bed.

Sunday the 17th – BUSY WORK! – After getting up at noon I phoned Bodie with some more questions. I was still bothered by the fact that my Torino was left outside behind 3 locked gates in a paint booth, with the keys and cut-off switch accessible to anyone who could breach those gates. I couldn’t believe anybody could be that sloppy. I did some work around the house and then got ready for evening church. Roxy and I were on our way when we happened to see our friend Shirley in front of her apartment building getting out of a car. She had just seen a movie with a friend and was just returning home. I asked her if she was going to church and she said she was. She went inside to drop off her take-out food container, and then came out and joined us. After church Shirley and I went to Jerry’s Deli for dinner and were joined by my assistant Sara. When we finished I dropped Shirley at her house, and Sara came over to help me with some work that needed to be done. Then I grabbed a nap. I slept from 10pm to 3am! I had hoped to only nap for a few hours, but FIVE?! I woke up with my cat Spooky walking all over me looking for a snack. I fed and walked Roxy and then spent the rest of the night hanging my new rope lights in my room. While removing the old rope lights some of the little plastic mounts snapped and needed to be replaced. I also had to drill new holes in my cabinets for extra mounts. But it was looking really nice! I wasn’t tired, so I just kept working. I organized my comic books and magazines, and created labeled divider cards to add into the collection. I also dug out a few 3-ring binders and plastic page protectors and started creating books full of movie stills I had in my collection. My room reorganization project was going well, and it was all looking good. I had all my paperbacks organized and filed, my hardcover books were organized and filed, and now my comics, magazine and bubblegum cards. I still have a few more divider cards to create, but so far so good! It really kept my mind off the Torino being so busy. In fact, I couldn’t believe how time had flown! It was already 7:30am Monday morning! I had been working all night!

Monday the 18th – TOMATO FOUND! – During a break while working on my bedroom reorganization project, I noticed that it was almost 8am. Enterprise would be open at 8, so I’d rather take my SUV back now, as opposed to having to get out of bed later in the day and taking it back then. I had no idea the kind of day I was in for! While intending to work for a half hour, waiting for Enterprise to open, I totally lost track of time. I looked up and it was 11am! I hopped in the SUV, gassed it up, and took it back to the office to turn it in. Then I walked home to continue on. I had been up since 3am working hard. I had wanted to hit the hay, but when I got home I was still charged up and rarin’ to go! So I worked some more. I couldn’t stop working! But I got a TON of stuff done and my room was really looking great! Around 2 in the afternoon I was determined to get some kind of sleep and hit the hay. I showered up and made some spaghetti, and I hit the hay to eat and watch “Thunderbirds.” Normally I’m doing this around 3 in the morning, but 3 in the afternoon? It was weird. My schedule was all screwed up; even more so than usual! Just as I was going to bed for real, I got a call from a reporter at KTLA channel 5 news who had seen the flyer I made about the missing Torino. They wanted to come interview me about the theft. I was also offering a substantial reward. We agreed to meet at my house at 7:30 to do the interview. I got on the phone with Mark the Cop to ask about specific things that I SHOULDN’T say in the interview so I don’t screw up the investigation. My pastor also called to ask about the car, as did a lot of other people as the news was starting to spread far and wide. I tried to call Bodie but he was busy shooting his TV show and couldn’t chat. While I was on the phone with all these other people, I got a voicemail message from a RESTRICTED caller. I played it back and was elated! It was a police officer informing me that THEY HAD FOUND THE TORINO! It was currently residing at a police tow yard literally blocks from Bodie’s shop! But it was already 6pm and they closed at 7. So we’d have to handle it on Tuesday. I called KTLA and canceled the interview, and started calling friends to let them know it had been found. I couldn’t get any information about its condition, but at least it was good to know it had been found. Even Jay Leno was on the case! Bodie said news had traveled amongst his guys at the garage, and Jay even contacted a detective in San Diego to keep an eye out for it! NOW I can relax and get some sleep! I napped from 7:30pm to 11:30pm VERY soundly. I got up to do an audition, fed and walked Roxy, and then made some chili and watched “Thunderbirds.” Thank God it’s been found!

Tuesday the 19th – WAITING FOR NEWS! – After getting up at 11, I checked voicemails and texts. I heard from a guy in Miami who said he had seen my flyer on-line and had just photographed a Torino with California plates in Miami. I thanked him but told him mine had been found. A detective called to inform me that they would be fingerprinting the Torino and I could give my permission to release it to Bodie later in the day. I thanked him and gave my permission. I’m anxious to hear from him what kind of condition it’s in. I got to Voicecasters for an audition, got my Mustang gassed up, and then headed to my doctor’s office to follow-up on the stress test I took on December 21st. He went over the results and said I passed with flying colors. So whatever I was experiencing, it had nothing at all to do with heart disease or a heart attack! Great news! But it still didn’t give me many answers about what exactly it is that I have. I stopped at my mailbox and picked up some packages, dropped off a travel bag at my cleaners so they could replace two zippers, and then I went to pick up Shirley. She needed to get a replacement for her expired handicapped placard. But instead of wading into the craziness of Hollywood to visit the DMV, I had called AAA to see if they could do it. Sure enough, they could. So I drove her to the AAA office in Burbank, and she got a new placard. She couldn’t stop raving about how fast the whole experience was. Then we went to Denny’s to get some dinner. I got a few supplies at Staples for my bedroom reorganization process; more 3-ring binders for my stills, more label tapes and some card stock. Just as I dropped Shirley home Bodie texted me to ask if I had spare keys to the Torino. He was at the tow yard to get the car, but couldn’t find the keys. Apparently the thieves tossed the keys somewhere and they couldn’t be found. I would never make it over there in time before they closed, so I told him we’d get together on Wednesday and handle it. The good news was, after examining the car, Bodie said it was mostly intact. All of the audio equipment; CD, radio, navigation, siren, Sirius XM, speakers, P.A…had all been swiped. Which is crazy because the speakers were over 10 years old and outdated. The navigation system was about 6 years old, and the Sirius XM satellite radio would be useless, because the ID number on the radio had already been reported as stolen. So when the thief tries to activate it, Sirius will flag it as stolen. Pointless. But nobody said criminals like that were smart. Bodie will put new tumblers in the ignition and door locks, and I’ll get a new alarm and sound system. Oh well, I guess it was time for an upgrade anyway. The paint was scratched up pretty badly, but the body was still in good shape. All in all I’m pretty lucky. The signed sun visors were still intact, and it didn’t look like anything else was missing. Bodie couldn’t get into the trunk with no key, so we’re hoping there’s not a dead body back there! The car had been abandoned very close to Bodie’s shop, so apparently after breaking out of his lot, they parked, removed the gear and scrammed. They even took my red vintage gumball-style cop light. Bodie was telling me that Tim Allen told him he just had a car stolen recently as well. Boy, it’s everywhere! What’s going on in the world anyway? Now that everything is settling down, it was time to get back into the groove of things. I napped for a bit, and then got up later to do auditions, write Wally’s Week, make dinner and watch more “Thunderbirds” on Blu Ray.

And how was YOUR week??!!! (Hopefully better than mine!)

PIX FROM THE WEEK

Here’s the pic of Bruce’s wife Lisa, alongside the pic of my friend Darlene as Priscilla Presley.

Bruce onstage during the Grand Funk Railroad show in Palm Springs.

I’m dizzy with Dole Whip delight!

Rockin’ out with the community guitar at the Elvis house!

Here’s Bruce jamming on the community guitar at the Elvis Honeymoon Hideaway. I’m singing “Jailhouse Rock” off camera. It was totally impromptu and unplanned. Sometimes the best moments are!