Archive for March, 2010

March 29 – April 4 (2010)



I was half asleep and just ready to doze off for good, but I figured after watching an episode of “Hawaii Five-O” one night, that I would surf around the channels and see what was playing. This was probably close to 5 am. On one of the DirecTV channels, I saw a band do a song that woke me up! The band is Shiny Toy Guns and the song I heard them play grabbed my attention so much, that I actually got out of bed and went on i-Tunes to order it. You’ll probably want to do the same thing when you hear “Rainy Monday.”

Monday the 29th – EASY MONDAY! – I made some calls in the afternoon and did some stuff around the house. I got to “The Tonight Show” around 3:30 and got ready for the 4:00 taping. But something happened during the taping that I had always wondered about. What if suddenly, the high tech computerized equipment involved in making a TV show just crashed? We found out, because just as Jay introduced musical guest Joss Stone, the audio board that’s used to mix all of the live music…suddenly crashed! I always wondered what would occur if that happened. Now I found out. While everyone furiously tried to reboot it, the production staff wondered if we should go ahead with something else instead I guess that’s why this crew makes the big bucks, because they were working very hard to restore it so the band could play. The band continued playing for the benefit of the audience, so they wouldn’t get distracted by the delay, while work continued behind the scenes to restore the frozen audio board. Just as the decision was made to move on to something else, one of the amazing techs informed everyone that the audio board was back! It was Man Vs. Machine, and man won! Miraculous work by these super professionals saved the day, and everyone was happy. It was amazing to see!

Tuesday the 30th – EARLY SESSIONS! – I had a VERY early session for a set of commercials that will play in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area for the Minnesota Twins and Caribou Coffee. As a kid I saw the Twins play many times in Minneapolis, on road trips we would take from South Dakota. It was cool to be in Los Angeles, doing a commercial for the Minnesota Twins whom I used to admire and see play as a child in South Dakota. Life is funny that way. After we finised at Voice Trax West, another session started for Autolite. Like the one I had done a few months ago, this too was fast legal speak at the end of the commercial. Some of the words were hard to say so fast, so luckily we were able to take it in chunks and paste it together later. When I was finished with that I got some breakfast at McDonald’s, and went home to nap for awhile until “TTS.”

Wednesday the 31st – OUT LIKE A LAMB! – The last day of March was very relaxing. We did the taping of “TTS” and then I went home to pack up some t-shirts to Fed Ex. I’ve been finding these “asphalt gray” long-sleeved t-shirts at It’s a Wrap made by American Apparel, and they’re super soft and comfortable. I also thought they would be perfect to silk screen an image of Adam West’s original Bat logo on to. But I only had 10 and the minimum for most silk screen orders are 24 or so. So I found another 16 on eBay that I bought in all sizes. Come to find out, the gal who sole me the shirts is married to a silk screener…who was a comic book fan! It was perfect. So I packed up my 10 shirts to send to him, so he could screen the logo on to all 26 shirts! I had to be at church early that night for the meditational service, as I was asked to introduce our guest speaker who would lead us through a meditational protocol that was originally created in the 50’s. It was an amazing evening! When I finished I met Sara at Panera for dinner, and took my box of t-shirts over to Fed Ex for shipment first thing Thursday.

THURSDAY the 1st – APRIL FOOL ON ME! – I knew this day was going to be nuts, but I had no idea. First off, there was a guy on eBay selling an EXACT REPLICA of the tuxedo jacket Andy Kaufman used as Tony Clifton…a jacket I’ve been trying to locate for 12 years! Today was the day it was going off auction at 2:30pm! I just HAD to be there at that time to try and snag it. But I was scheduled for a videogame in Culver City (which is about 15 miles from where I live) from 10-2pm. I knew that, not only would I not make it home by 2;30 for the auction because of all the traffic I would encounter on my way home, but it was cutting it dangerously close to the time I needed to be at NBC for “TTS.” It was the day before Good Friday, so instead of the normal 3:30 call time, they asked me to be there at 3:15 so we could tape early, and as a result everyone could start their three day weekend off a little earlier. (There was no taping scheduled on Friday due to the holiday.) Luckily, my agent was able to move the session from 9a-1pm, which would give me an additional hour to try and make it home in time. In theory that would all work, but the day had other ideas for me. I got up nice and early to make the long drive down to the studio in Culver City, and in fact I got there about a half hour early. I had time to get breakfast at McDonald’s and eat it in the parking lot of the studio. I met the director of the game who pulled in to park as well. When I got out of my car I noticed that my right rear tire was low. The director noticed a nice big nail, right in my tire! OH NO! Something that could potentially prevent me from keeping my eBay date at 2:30!!! So I called AAA and had them send over a guy to put on the spare. I went inside and did a little work, and then came back out to meet the AAA guy. The production staff of the videogame were very nice and understanding. The AAA guy told me he couldn’t remove the tire, because one of the lug nuts was stripped, and if he tried to pull it off it would break. Of course I couldn’t drive on a flat tire all the way back home, so I told him to give it a try anyway. Sure enough, it broke. Not only the lug nut, but the “stud” that protrudes through the wheel assembly that you screw the tire on to. Luckily, the other 4 would be fine while I drove it to a tire store and had it fixed. I called ahead to the Firestone store near my house and had them order the parts to have them ready for me. I finished the session WAY early…in fact in about two hours. (I wish I could tell you what the videogame is, but it’s REALLY cool! I signed a non-disclosure agreement.) The voice I did during the session was very stressful on my vocal cords, so I was drinking water like crazy! I had a 2 litre, and two little bottles of water on top of that! Before I made the long drive back home I visited the bathroom and figured I was good to go. NOT SO! On the way back over the hill, going through the canyon, I needed to find a bathroom again! But on Coldwater Canyon there are just houses and no businesses with bathrooms! As I continued driving on the curvy roads it got worse. I had to find somewhere soon! I looked around and saw in my backseat an empty water bottle and my empty orange juice cup from McDonald’s that morning. I thought about it for a second and then….Naaaaah! No way! So I journeyed on! But nothing. It got worse and worse. I didn’t know WHAT I was going to do! Finally I spotted a parking lot for Tree People. GREAT! I pulled in, walked behind a tree and all was right with the world. I found out later from a friend that Tree People has restrooms, but who knew??!! Knowing that, if I was caught by a cop, I could be arrested for indecent exposure and be labeled a sex offender the rest of my life! (Yes, it happens!) So I kept close watch. But it all came out alright (pun intended) and I was on my way to Firestone. What ELSE could go wrong on this April Fool’s Day?! I got to Firestone and they could repair the tire in about 20 minutes. I called my friend Sara who lived close and met her at Subway for a sandwich. But no sooner did I get my sandwich than I got a call from Firestone. Two more of my lug nuts were stripped and wouldn’t come off! WHAT?! I had just seen the little man with AAA put them on himself, and he put them on by hand. I can understand if the lug nuts get seated improperly initially, and then an air wrench is used to force them on to the stud, but this guy put them on by hand! How could this be! Now, a 20 minute job was going to take about an hour and a half. Apparently to change out the studs, they need to remove the entire rear brake assembly. So, I had a decision to make. Later that night I would be taking my car into Ford to have the usual 15,000 mile maintenance done. Should I just drive around on the donut with one broken stud until then, or should I have it fixed right now. Plus I had to keep in mind that NBC may need me to come in and record a comedy bit for “TTS” at any time, so I needed to have wheels! Sara said she would take me wherever I needed to go, so that was good. I decided to have the Firestone guys do the work. If I needed Sara to take me to NBC, so be it. If my car was ready in time, so be it. Whatever. I was just ready for this day to be over! Sara dropped me off at home and it was now about 1pm. I had an hour and a half until the auction was over for the Tony Clifton tux. So I relaxed, answered e-mails, listened to the radio and watched the time click away. Luckily, I was able to snag the tuxedo jacket in the final minute. I also found out that the guy who sold it had another one in a smaller size, so I bought that one too! I go for 12 years without finding one of these, and now I find TWO! Life is strange! Sara was on her way to come get me for work at NBC, when I realized something. In my haste, I had forgotten my NBC I.D. to gain entry to the lot! I would need to have her run be back to Firestone to get my I.D., then take me to NBC. ARGH! How could I have been so stupid!? When we got to Firestone my car was up on the lift. I asked the guy to bring it down so I could get my I.D. for work. He told me the car was ready! YAY! Finally something is going my way! I got my bags out of Sara’s car and went into Firestone to pay. I got my car and I was on my way to work. Meanwhile NBC had called me and asked if I could be in at 3, because they might start the taping at 3:30 instead of 3:45 to let everyone go even earlier. I would never make it by 3, but I told them I was definitely on my way. In my OWN car! Just then with horror I realized something…I LEFT MY BAGS ON THE COUNTER AT FIRESTONE! In my voice-over bag I carry utilities like honey and a gargle called Alkolol which is good for controlling phlem on the vocal cords. I knew I would have no time to go back and still make the early call-time, so I called Sara to have her grab them and keep them. She said she would and take them to me at NBC. COOL! I got to NBC and ran in. They said that the 3;30 start time probably wouldn’t happen, but we were going to start at 3:45 as originally planned. WHEW! As I was doing the run-through of the opening announcement, Sara texted me that she was outside at the gate. i couldn’t leave to meet her because I was busy! ACK! By the time I got out to the gate she was nowhere to be found, and wasn’t answering her phone or texts. Where could she be??!! I went back into the studio and she finally called. She was at a DIFFERENT gate with my bags. So I ran out to meet her, get my bags and get to work. The show went very well and I wished everyone a great Easter weekend. I was ready to go home, nap and forget that a lot of this day even happened! The good side…I got to work on a really cool videogame and got two Tony Clifton tuxes…the bad side…well. Let’s not talk about that! After my nap my friend Georgette came over and took me to the Ford dealer to drop of my car for “Early Bird” service. If you drop it off at night after closing, then your car is the first one to get serviced in the morning. Then I went home and made us a Chef Boy Ar Dee pizza! YUM!

Friday the 2nd – GOOD FRIDAY! – My friend Patrice picked me up and we went to lunch at Jerry’s Famous Deli. There was no taping of “TTS” today so I could have a nice relaxing lunch. We spent about two hours lunching, and then went over to the Ford dealer to get my car. Apparently at 30,000 miles, they recommend a full flush of all of the fluids and a full restoration of a lot of the parts. It would run about 800 bucks! But, it had to be done. Then they called and said my battery was old. (It WAS the original battery and my car is a 2003) So I had them replace that. Now I was up to about 950 bucks. Then they called and said my two rear tires didn’t look very good, and the tread was thinning. With 33,000 miles on the car, he was probably right. I guess I had the rear tire patched for nothing as it was going to get replaced anyway. But then they called and said the two front tires were looking bad too, and it was advisable to replace all four at the same time. Since I was planning upcoming trips to Palm Springs and Anaheim, I figured now was the time to prevent any future mishaps like I experienced on Thursday. So now I was up to about 1500 dollars. Oh well…had to be done. Patrice took me to get my car and we looked around at some of the new cars…the Fusion, and the new Mustangs. I must say, I haven’t liked like looks of the Mustangs since 2005, which is why I stuck with my 2003. They just look wrong. And I’ve had about 3 Mustangs in my life, so I really love them. I got my car and headed home to prepare for the Good Friday service at church. I would be reading a section of scripture at the service so I needed to be there about a half hour early to rehearse. It all went very well, and afterwards I went home to grab a nap. I got up later that night and stayed up all night watching “Hawaii: Five-O” on DVD!

Saturday the 3rd – SHOPPIN’ SATURDAY! – The maids woke me up around noon, and they came in to clean Planet Wallywood. After they left Sara and I went shopping. First lunch at El Pollo Loco, and then fabric shopping at JoAnn’s for fabric for the 8″ Mego-esque Ant Man figure I’d be making. Then we went to Bed Bath and Beyond to get some stuff and then off to the pharmacy to get some supplies, and then the craft store to get paints. I got ready for my guests for Blu Ray Trek that night, and as I was putting the stuff away that I had bought, I noticed my cat Spook sitting in one of the sacks. I thought, “OH NO! NOT AGAIN!” I said “What are you doing?” And he took off. Sure enough he was peeing in the sack. Not sure why exactly, but I was furious. I chased him all over the house to put him in solitary confinement as punishment (which was no easy task) all the while I was taking the bag to the sink to wash the pee off the stuff. Luckily it was all wrapped in plastic, but it was still a mess and I was furious! So I put him in the bathroom and shut the door. He knew he had done wrong, and he knows that is not tolerated, but yet he does it anyway. WHY??!! I got everything all cleaned up by the time my guests arrived and we had a pleasant evening watching the original “Star Trek” on Blu Ray. But I had to make it an early night because I had to be up early the next morning for the Easter Walk at church.

Sunday the 4th – HAPPY EASTER!! – I woke up shortly after 8 and showered. I would be going to the church early today and playing Jesus in the Easter Walk for the Sunday School classes. I am one of the only guys in the church who 1) has long hair 2) has a beard, 3) is an elder who can give communion…so when the previous “Jesus” decided to retire, they asked me. I was hesitant at first, but decided to do it. It ended up being a great experience! When the little kids sit by you and say, “Are you really Jesus?” I didn’t know what to say exactly. Of course I’m not, but for the sake of the presentation we were doing for them I didn’t want to ruin it. So when the youth director jumped in and said, “He’s an actor playing Jesus in a play,” I was relieved. I’ve played Batman and Beetlejuice before, and when you’re asked by a kid if you’re really them you say yes to maintain the illusion. But when you’re playing a real guy, it’s difficult to know what to say. And since it’s little kids asking you can’t say, “For the purpose of this presentation I am,” because that sounds confusing. So, I think I have a year to think up a better answer for next Easter.


Jesus and Guard


Pilate and Jesus

When the service was over at 10, I went home and found the male and female duck in our pool area. I sat on my porch and they came up to me to get little bits of bread. When they were full, they went back into the pool and had a swim. A true Easter blessing to have them there! Then I went back to bed to sleep until evening church. But I was awoken by an “Easter-quake” at about 3:30. It was a rolling quake, and I knew it wasn’t my imagination because Spooky came tearing into my darkened room at 100 miles per hour! He hid in my closet. I opened my windows and talked to my neighbors about it. Sure enough…apparently it was about a 6.9 quake centered down by the Mexico border. Well, I was up now. I went to take Sassie out there were the ducks again by my porch, looking for more bread. So I sat on the porch and fed them some more. Again, when they had their fill, they went in for a swim. Even the squirrels were poking around looking for nuts. So I had a dog, a cat, squirrels and ducks all wanting my attention. What a great time! Once the ducks hit the pool, I brought Sassie out for a walk. When I came out I noticed Sassie looking at something at eye level. She was almost nose to nose with a squirrel. The squirrels know Sassie’s not a threat, because she never barks at them or chases them. In fact, she barely even notices them or cares about them. But it was great seeing them both so close together! I laid down some nuts for the squirrel and took Sassie for her stroll. I got ready for evening church, then picked up Sara for dinner at Vitello’s. It started to rain so I got home, fed the ducks again, and took a nap and waited for the rain to start. Later I got up and fed Sassie and we watched another episode of “Hawaii: Five-O” on DVD and got prepared for what promised to be a VERY busy week!!

And how was YOUR week??!!